New Greek Gods
The ancient Greeks were pretty with it for their time. They had a god for everything! And their gods were relatable, with human flaws.
But, over time, they’ve fallen out of the lime light.
SO! It’s time to update the old pantheon of Greek gods. Make them more relevant to today’s mortal world. Here are my suggestions for some New Greek Gods!
“If I said thee hadst a good body, wouldst thou hold it against me?”
“What’s THAT supposed to mean? (… and so it begins)”
“Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!! Somebody crack a window… Oops, I already did!”
“C’mon! Those glutes ain’t gonna squat themselves! Twenty more!”
“Hmmm… Where’s that post-it with the list of other lists of things I have to do?!?!?”
“Done! Finally finished that wiki for Etruscan Shrews.”
“Uh, dad? Can you give me the keys to the internet?”
“Are you sleepy in your head? Are you napping in a bed? If you’re snoozing on the floor, be sure to close that kitchen door!”
“WHAT!?!?!? YOU CAN’T HAVE AN OPINION ON MY POST!?!?! HOW DARE YOU!!! [block] [unfriend] [unfollow]”
“I’m all set. Just gotta eat a bushel of oats, three times a day.”
“So, while you’re playing Apptastic’s Bird Smasher 2, just use two fingers and make an upside-down V gesture, and your tablet will order your favorite pizza.”
“Ok, little Tinder. We’re at your school. Make sure the Door Guard has your hand before you unbuckle your safety belt. I’ll be right outside in the car in case you feel insecure about anything. Have fun at college, dear!”
“Polls show that most people think polls are unreliable.”
All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com