This week I’m posting a cover version of “Suddenly Seymour” from the musical Little Shop of Horrors… but in Spanish!
Here’s the song, with my Audrey voice pitch-shifted up by an octave (yes, I sound like Miss Piggy):
De Pronto Seymour (pitch-shift cover song by Joe J Thomas)
… and one with just my original singing:
De Pronto Seymour (cover song by Joe J Thomas)
There were several challenges that went into this song:
Transcribing the Lyrics (couldn’t find an official version online)
Singing in Spanish, with correct pronunciation and emphasis
Harmonizing with myself
Pitch shifting my voice for Audrey’s part
I got a lot out of the exercise. Learned some new Spanish words, a new song, and some new production techniques. More tools for the toolbox. Or at least toys for the toybox.
Hope you enjoy it!
Joe
~~~ Lyrics: ~~~
“De Pronto Seymour”
Spanish version of “Suddenly Seymour” from Little Shop of Horrors
(transcribed from a version performed in Buenos Aires)
…
SEYMOUR
No estés así. Toma mi pañuelo. Limpiate el rimmel, los labios también.
Quiero mirar el alba en tus ojos. Estamos muy juntos, ya todo está bien.
De pronto Seymour está a tu lado. No más maquillaje, no más que esconder.
De pronto Seymour llegó para darte dulces palabras. Cuenta con él.
AUDREY
Yo a la ternura no conocía. Mamí era pobre, papá se nos fue.
Y cualquier hombre que aparecía; “vení” me decía y yo qué iba a hacer?
De pronto Seymour está a mi lado. A nada me obliga. Me sabe entender.
De pronto Seymour llegó para darme dulce consuelo, cuento con él.
SEYMOUR
Dime que esto que siento es eterno. Que ya ha pasado mi tiempo infeliz.
AUDREY
Seymour comprende que a los perdedores. No les es fácil gritar: “soy feliz”
AUDREY
De pronto Seymour
SEYMOUR, CRYSTAL, RONNETTE, CHIFFON
De pronto Seymour
AUDREY
Me purifica
SEYMOUR, CRYSTAL, RONNETTE, CHIFFON
Te purifica
AUDREY
De pronto Seymour
SEYMOUR, CRYSTAL, RONNETTE, CHIFFON
De pronto Seymour
Copyright 2021, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not A Quinn-Martin Production.
~~~ Lyrics: ~~~
He Put Cheese On
(to the tune of “And The Band Played On”)
Lyrics and Singing by Joe J Thomas
…
Charlie wore cheddar cause he wanted to bed her
Yes he put cheese on
With a collar of Swiss he would woo a young miss
When he put cheese on
The ladies paid homage to his clothes made of fromage
His cheesy demeanor was sharp
The dapper young suitor with a vest made of Goudah
He had put cheese on
…
He used camembert for a flair in his hair
Oh he combed cheese on
There was brie on his shoulder, for his shoes gorgonzola
Sure he put cheese on
She knew that he’d get her with his tie made from feta
Mozzarella suspenders he’d donned
They left out the back in a Monterey Jack
How they put cheese on
…
They’ve a gooey liaison on his couch of parmesan
And they got cheese on
As she fumbled and felt him his socks started melting
Oh they had cheese on
While removing their clothing she stopped with a loathing
His underwear caused her to turn
With that limburger smell she could certainly tell
That he put cheese on!
All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com
~~~ Lyrics: ~~~
“The Song Is You”
…
I hear music when I look at you
A beautiful theme of every dream I ever knew
Down deep in my heart I hear it play
I can feel it start, then it melts away
…
I hear music when I touch your hand
A beautiful melody from some enchanted land
Down deep in my heart, I hear it say
“Is this the day?”
…
I alone have heard this lovely strain
I alone have heard this glad refrain
Must it be forever inside of me?
Why can’t I let it go? Why can’t I let you know?
…
Why can’t I let you know the song my heart would sing?
Beautiful rhapsody of love and youth and spring
The music is sweet, and the words are true
The song is you
[instrumental]
Why can’t I let you know the song my heart would sing?
That beautiful rhapsody of love and youth and spring
The music is sweet, and the words are true
The song is you
All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com
Pink Lady [Eat A Lady] (parody of Tom Jones “She’s A Lady”)
*** as heard on Dr. Demento! ***
A wholesome song about my favorite apple… or is it?
The reason the apple industry won’t hire Tom Jones.
A Triple Entendre Parody Song.
Audio:
PinkLady_JoesDump
Video (with Closed Captions):
Singing and lyrics by Joe J Thomas
Copyright 2021, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not A Quinn-Martin Production.
~~~ Lyrics: ~~~
Pink Lady [Eat A Lady] (parody of Tom Jones “She’s A Lady”)
Singing and lyrics by Joe J Thomas
When I don’t know what I want, feeling hungry, feeling gaunt after dinner.
There is something in my place that I stick into my face that is a winner.
I eat a lady! Whoa whoa whoa, Eat a lady!
Talkin’ about a Pink Lady. And that lady tastes fine.
~~~
I might have her in a pie, lookin’ yummy when she’s fried with something saucy
She is crunchy and she’s sweet, such a high fiber treat, her skin is glossy
I eat a lady! Whoa whoa whoa, Eat a lady!
Talkin’ about a Pink Lady. And that lady tastes fine.
~~~
When I’m at the supermarket know I always choose her
Always treat her with respect cause I don’t wanna bruise her
Sometimes when we get back home I put her in a juicer
She’s so versatile she could fill a whole buffet. Hey, hey, hey!
When I pop her in my mouth then I know what she’s about. She’s so delicious.
She got vitamins A and C, Riboflavin helps me see. She’s so nutritious.
I eat a lady! Whoa whoa whoa, Eat a lady!
Talkin’ about a Pink Lady. And that lady tastes fine.
~~~
Yeah yeah yeah! Eat a Lady! Whoa whoa whoa! Eat a Lady!
Listen to me. I eat a Lady. And that lady tastes fine.
Yeah yeah yeah! Eat a Lady! Talkin’ about a Pink Lady.
Whoa whoa whoa! And that lady, oh that lady tastes fine…
All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com
parody of “Ruby” by Kenny Rogers
Singing and Lyrics by Joe J Thomas
Ruby You're Just A Circus Clown (Joe J Thomas)
Copyright 2021, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.
— Lyrics —
Ruby, You’re Just A Circus Clown
parody of “Ruby” by Kenny Rogers
Singing and Lyrics by Joe J Thomas
…
You painted up your face and you put on a frizzy wig
Ruby you know nobody wears shoes that are so big
You crammed into that tiny car with all your friends in town
Oh Ruby, you’re just a circus clown
…
I know you like to leave the crowds clamoring for more
But when you aren’t at work most times you’re just a crashing bore
And though I like that circus made entirely of fleas
Oh Ruby, you still suck at puppetry
…
That first day that we fell in love I was so hypnotized
You smiled at me but now there’s something that I realize
That lipstick makes it look like you have got a droopy frown
Oh Ruby, you’re still a circus clown
…
I know you care ‘cuz I just heard the honking of your horn
The way you squirt me with a flower makes our love feel reborn
Give me a rubber nose and we can both go paint the town
Oh Ruby, make me a circus clown
Oh Ruby, let’s turn that frown around
All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com
The Like Ship
(Prequel to The Love Boat)
Pilot Episode Theme Song
In 1990, after a successful 10 year run of “The Love Boat” the producers decided to make a prequel: “The Like Ship”
Pitch: Like “Love Boat”, but with dogs.
It was an utter disaster.
This theme song is all that remains…
(dedicated to the memory of Gavin MacLeod 1931-2021)
Copyright 2021, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.
~~~ Lyrics: ~~~
(vo) Love Boat prequel “The Like Ship”, pilot episode, reel 1…
Like… Your balls may turn blue
She’s so hot, but not into you!
And Like… You just wanna score
We all know, it’s not her it’s you!
The Like Ship! Everyone thinks that you’re just no fun
It’s Friendship! Just stick a fork in you ’cause you’re done
There’s no course to adventure, you won’t get a second chance
And Like… No need to feel sore
It’s a wave goodbye from a closing door
It’s LIKE!
You will be bored with LIKE!
All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com
Copyright 2021, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.
~~~ Lyrics ~~~
“Have You Killed Me?”
Parody: of “Have You Seen Her?” by the Chi-Lites
By Joe J Thomas
Ah…ah…ah…ah…ah…ah… Ooh…ooh…ooh…ooh…ooh…ooh…ooh…ooh…
One year ago today, I was hired to play a part
My job as a voice actor, talkin’ to a mic, recording in the dark
Doin’ a character in a video game, the one the children play
For me, it was just another gig, but they play that shit every day
They all follow me online, They seem to know my name
I get likes and comments, But it still doesn’t ease my pain
There’s no way I can beat ‘em, They’ll play ‘til their brains are fried
I keep sayin’ I’ll win someday, Seems I’m just not qualified
Oh, they chase me down for my treasure hoard. Crack me on my skull like it was a gourd
Have you killed me? Tell me why’d you kill me?
Yeah they fight in groups on their tv screens. Isn’t fair when it’s one against a team.
Have you killed me? Tell me why’d you kill me?
Why, oh why did you have to stab me with a sword?
Oh…oh…oh…oh…oh…: I’ve been used for gamers’ entertainment
And I lost, baby, I lost!
ow, ow, ow… ow, ow, ow… ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow ow…
Have you killed me? Tell me why’d you kill me? [Tell me why’d you kill me?]
ow, ow, ow… ow, ow, ow… ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow ow…
Have you killed me? Tell me why’d you kill me? [Tell me why’d you kill me?]
Oh you cast a spell with your mystic art, Then you plunged a dagger in my heart
Have you killed me? Tell me why’d you kill me?
Yeah they slay me from the dusk till dawn, Don’t they know in this game that I just respawn
Have you killed me? Tell me why’d you kill me?
Why, oh why did you have to set my head aflame? Oh, no!
Oh…oh…oh…oh…oh…: I’ve been shot, and stabbed and hit with boulders
And I lost, baby, I lost!
ow, ow, ow… ow, ow, ow… ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow ow…
Have you killed me? Tell me why’d you kill me? [Tell me why’d you kill me?]
ow, ow, ow… ow, ow, ow… ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow ow…
Have you killed me? Tell me why’d you kill me? [Tell me why’d you kill me?]
As another game comes to an end, I’m lookin’ for a potion or somethin’
Anything that would put me on the mend, With all the powers I have, hmm
I’m still a wounded man, You know it’s funny
Here I thought the bosses were the ones in command
3X: Have you killed me? Tell me why’d you kill me? [Tell me why’d you kill me?]
— original lyrics —
“Have You Seen Her” by the Chi-Lites
2X: Ah…ah…ah…ah…ah…ah… Ooh…ooh…ooh…ooh…ooh…ooh…ooh…ooh…
One month ago today, I was happy as a lark
But now I go for walks, To the movies, maybe to the park
I have a seat on the same old bench, To watch the children play, huh
You know tomorrow is their future, But for me just another day
They all gather ’round me, huh, They seem to know my name
We laugh, tell a few jokes, But it still doesn’t ease my pain
I know I can’t hide from a memory, Though day after day I’ve tried
I keep sayin’ she’ll be back, But today again I’ve lied
Oh, I see her face everywhere I go, On the street and even at the picture show
Have you seen her, Tell me have you seen her
Oh, I hear her voice as the cold winds blow, In the sweet music on my radio
Have you seen her, Tell me have you seen her
Why, oh, why: Did she have to leave and go away?
Oh…oh…oh…oh…oh…: I’ve been used to havin’ someone to lean on
And I’m lost, baby, I’m lost
Oh, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo; Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo
Have you seen her; Tell me have you seen her [Tell me have you seen her]
Oh, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo; Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo
Have you seen her; Tell me have you seen her [Tell me have you seen her]
Oh, she left her kiss upon my lips, But left that break within my heart
Have you seen her, Tell me have you seen her
Oh, I see her hand reaching out to me, Only she can set me free
Have you seen her, Tell me have you seen her
Why, oh, why; Did she have to leave and go away
Oh…oh…oh…oh…oh…, I’ve been used to havin’ someone to lean on
And I’m lost, baby, I’m lost
Oh, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo
Have you seen her
Tell me have you seen her [Tell me have you seen her]
As another day comes to an end, I’m lookin’ for a letter or somethin’
Anything that she would send, With all the people I know, hmm
I’m still a lonely man, You know it’s funny
I thought I had her in the palm of my hand
Have you seen her; Tell me have you seen her [Tell me have you seen her]
Oh (Oh, yeah…eah…eah…), doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo
Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo
6X: Have you seen her – Tell me have you seen her (with echos)
All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com
The manliest man with the manliest of problems… It’s Big Jim McBob!
Audio
BigJimMcBob_JoesDump
Written and Sung by Joe J Thomas
Copyright 2020 Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production
Runtime: 3:04
All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com
~~~ Lyrics ~~~
The Ballad of Big Jim McBob!
(to the tune of Big Bad John by Jimmy Dean)
/ Big Jim. McBob. Big Jim McBob!
Big Jim McBob was a legend they say
When men did wrong he’d make em pay
With fists of iron and a heart of stone
Manly as hell in a class of his own, that’s Jim
/ Big Jim. McBob. Big Jim McBob!
He could open a jar o’ pickles with one eyebrow
Bust into a bank cuz he’s got the know-how
Run cross country, go straight through a wall
Was the whole damn team when he played football… Yeah Jim
He’d scale a mountain with both hands tied
Kept a pack of wolves right by his side
Grown men would run from him in fear
His piercing eyes never shed a tear, not Jim
/ Big Jim. McBob. Big Jim McBob!
He was a Rhodes Scholar and a Shinto Priest
A blazing inferno didn’t worry him the least
Had a thundering voice that could split the sky
With a tone so lovely soothe a baby’s cry… He’s Jim
A lady’s man with a head full of hair
Kind as a puppy and tough as a bear
He’d jump into his pants like a raging bull
And everyone knew those pants were full… Of Jim
/ Big Jim. McBob. Big Jim McBob!
Now Jim had a woman who he loved strong
Way up in the mountains she done him wrong
She’d laid down a law that he couldn’t heed
And left Big Jim with an aching need… Oh, Jim
They cussed and they argued ’bout who was right
Kept the neighbors up till late in the night
She kicked him out in the cold and the dark
With nowhere to sleep he laid down in the park… poor Jim
/ Big Jim. McBob. Big Jim McBob!
Now you might wonder what was Jim’s sin
The horrible crime that done him in
It’s only one thing lost his castle and crown…
Big Jim just couldn’t put that toilet seat down. Damnit, Jim!
/ Big Jim. McBob. Big Jim McBob!
