Ode to Obi-Wan

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Ode to Obi-Wan

(from “Star Wars: A Forced Musical”)

aired on the Dr Demento Thanksgiving show Nov 18, 2017 (click for info)

Illustrations by K. Woo
Lyrics and Voice by Joe J Thomas
Copyright 2017 Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump
www.JoesDump.com
Not a Quinn-Martin Production

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
Ode to Obi-Wan
(from “Star Wars: A Forced Musical”)
Written by: Joe J Thomas

Oh my father was full of midichlorians they say
That’s why the force in me is so hot
I’d go out in my speeder shootin’ womp rats all day
But now tell me what have I got?

If you’re gonna be a Jedi
You wanna have a dead eye
With a saber or blaster gun
But you gotta have a master
When you’re headed for disaster
Oh the man that you want’s Obi-Wan

He’s a guy who knew your father
But don’t you go and bother
Asking what dear ole’ dad become
Cuz you might be relater
To someone named Darth Vader
No you can’t trust that old Obi-Wan

Obi-Wan! Obi-Wan!
Did you know that he trained Anakin?

If you’re the type of mister
Who’d go and kiss his sister
And fly round with a guy named Han
Get your butt to Dagobah
You gotta train with Yoda
See the ghost of your friend, meet your paw in the end
But it all began with Obi-Wan

If you sneak into the Death Star
And your Jedi skills are sub-par
All your friends will be suffer-un
You could lose a hand to daddy
See a sarlaac eat a baddy
Have a trash bin squeezin’ your buns

You may meet in a cantina
With a ugly dude who’s meaner
Than a Wookie with fleas by gum
Or hear ghosts in your X-Wing
Say your nav comp is a bad thing
Never watch movies three, two, or one

Obi-Wan! Obi-Wan!
Get the heck out my head Obi-Wan!

If you’re knocked out by a Wampa
Or stuffed into a Ton-ton
Win a race on the Kessel run
Defeat an evil empire
Then dance around a campfire
Carbonite, Saber Fight, Ewoks might die of fright
Heck you might even see Obi-Wan

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

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Trump Feelings via Dr Otto

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My Feelings on Trump, as Expressed by Dr. Otto

Only the amazing Jim Varney as Dr. Otto can truly sum up my feelings about Donald Trump:

Treat yourself! Be sure to Buy or Rent “Dr. Otto and the Riddle of the Gloom Beam” on Amazon here!

Bonus!!! Watch my review of “Dr. Otto”, and “Captain Invincible” here:

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Political Opinions

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Political Opinions

In a recent Facebook post, people were debating the merits and issues with stating your political views on a public forum. The primary concern seemed to be how it might affect their business. Here is my posted reply:

Now is not the time to remain silent. No job, paycheck or client is worth giving up our freedoms. And that’s what’s at stake. Everyone must do what they’re comfortable with, but I will not stand idly by while the underpinnings of our nation are eroded. If anyone, including a client, doesn’t like my stance on issues of this importance then I wouldn’t want them anyway. So far, I’ve only lost one connection here, and he went way off the deep end. My two cents. Your mileage may vary.

After all, what good is having the right to freedom of speech if you never exercise it?

The Role of the Jester
Although I do speak my mind plainly at times, I also often use humor to convey messages. Like the King’s Jester, some truths are easier to deliver with a bit of comedy. The laughter (or lack thereof) can tell you a lot about the audience. And make no mistake – I’ve mocked both sides of the political aisle (but one side is usually a lot more of a comedy gold mine 😉 )

Here are my latest set of short historical propaganda films – Enjoy!

Join The Republican Party: The Party of THE FUTURE!

Dead Presidents on Trump (5 short videos)
What would dead presidents have to say about Donald J. Trump?
Wonder no more!
Here’s 10-15 seconds each of alternative history for you!




Copyright 2017 Joe’s Dump
www.JoesDump.com
Not a Quinn-Martin Production

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Joe Lamé Fitness

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Joe Lamé Fitness

After decades of intensive research, Joe’s Dump is proud to announce it’s very own line of FITNESS PRODUCTS!

  • Fitness Tracker
  • Health Shakes
  • Protein Bars
  • … and MUCH MUCH MORE!!!

Get the full story on Joe Lamé Fitness below!!!

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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VHP: Virtual Henderson Project

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VHP: Virtual Henderson Project

Henderson is a cheesy beefcake of a man. If you haven’t met him yet, he’s a loose-cannon cop with the intelligence of a small soap dish. I’ve been providing his voice for Pendant Productions for a little over 3 years now, and since Season 3 is coming on March 22, I thought something special was in order.

I always wondered what Henderson would look like in real life, and recently, I purchased some new software called “Poser” that can create realistic 3-D human models. Time for a test run!

Virtual Henderson Project: The Process:
The modeling software does have a learning curve to it. This may be less if you’re actually a graphics person or an animator, but for me it was about medium level of difficulty.

After creating the model, the next step is rendering. For still images, it’s not too bad. A few minutes for each one. The animation, however, took a looooonnnnggg time on my computer. Since I wasn’t going to buy a new computer just for this project, I decided to limit the animated portion to 5 seconds. That’s 150 frames (at 30 fps), and each frame took about 4 minutes, so, yeah, long time.

The rest of the video is still shots that I pan up, down, or sideways in the video editing software (I use Sony Vegas).

For the whole project, I’d guess I spent about 30-40 hours.

Bonus! Here’s the blooper reel from Henderson and Havner Season 2:

      HandHbloopers2

…and Links to Everything Else Mentioned:

Enjoy!
Joe

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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The Hell of Diets!

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The Hell of Diets!

“The Hell of Diets!”
by Joe J Thomas

(a parody of “The Sound of Silence” by Disturbed and Simon & Garfunkel)

Copyright 2016, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump
All Rights Reserved
Not a Quinn-Martin Production

The Hell of Diets! (title card)
~~~ Lyrics ~~~
“The Hell of Diets!”
by Joe J Thomas Continue reading

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Leaf Blower Man

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“Leaf Blower Man”

Written and Sung by Joe J Thomas

(a parody of The Beatles “Nowhere Man”)

Leaf Blowers: The bane of every home audio studio and napping youngster (or oldster!).

Here’s How I turn frustration into creation… Time for a Parody Song!

~~~ Lyrics Below: ~~~ Continue reading

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Mimicry To Money

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Mimicry To Money

Here’s follow-up to my post “Comedy to Cash“, where I did a mock NPR show and was later cast in “This American Life” on NPR…

This time the job came from my learning to do a Vincent Price Impression for Halloween.

The impression came in handy when I got an audition for Luna Park in Sydney. Here’s the finished spot:

… and here’s my impression of Vincent Price from “Thriller”

      JoeActor_VincentPrice_Impression_Thriller

Happy Halloween!
Joe

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GoPro Hike!

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GoPro Hike!

As you probably know, my wife and I exercise regularly and hike quite a bit.

We recently got a GoPro Session camera and recorded one of our weekly hikes.
The total hiking time was about an hour and a half, and we covered over 5 miles and more than 90 flights of stairs (10 feet per flight).

This all takes place in Griffith park, and if you look closely you can see the Griffith observatory and the LA skyline through the haze.

Enjoy!

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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EVIL 007: Gathering of EVIL!

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Live! from E.V.I.L. (Evil Villain Island Lair)

Episode 7: Gathering of EVIL!

Virgil Villain and his henchman Weevil are hosting a “Lair Warming Party” on Evil Island… But with so many villains attending, who will be in control at the end?

Starring: (in order of appearance)
Joe J Thomas as Virgil Villain/Weevil
Herb Merriweather as Herb
James O. Johnson Jr. as JJ
Daniel Pierce as Mag Na Tude
Will Roberts as Atticus Merle
Marc Cashman as Johnny Wa
K. Woo as Sammy Smallfries
Nancy McLemore as Fatty Liver
Rebecca Michaels Haugh as Ida Herdja
Laila Berzins as Nicolette Clapper
(other voices by Joe J Thomas)

Gathering of EVIL! Cast

Gathering of EVIL! Cast

Live! from EVIL is a short-format 3d animated comedy series. See what happens with heroes and villains between all that action stuff 😉

Official Site: www.LiveFromEvil.com

Copyright Joe J Thomas, 2015. All rights reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.

External Links:
IMDB Listing for Ep. 007: Gathering of EVIL!
Live! from E.V.I.L. episodes on YouTube

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