Ode to Bertrum

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Ode to Bretrum

Bendy and the Ink Machine: Bertrum Piedmont
The greatest theme park ever built
A lifelong dream for me
No, Mr Drew, you won’t succeed
My creation shall be free!

I’ll make your rides, oh, you’ll see
The mystery shall unfold
Deep in the basement’s where I hide
Dark, and dank, and cold

If you’re wondering where I’ve gone
I’m hiding in plain sight
Come fight me now! Bertie’s here!
I’ll give you such a fright…

One final turn will seal your fate
A darker end’s in store
For after spinning round and round
You all will scream for more!

 
*** SPOILERS!!! Bendy and the Ink Machine ***

(btw, I’m the voice of Bertrum Piedmont in “Bendy and the Ink Machine” 😉 )

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Natural Gas Commercial

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Natural Gas Commercial

Just a little experiment. I added flames to a commercial. Other than that, it’s exactly the same. See how it changes the spot below…

Original:

Modified:

I’ve also experimented with adding Voice Over to alter a commercial. You can view that here:
The Power of Voice Over

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

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Pay-2-Play Parody Song

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Pay-2-Play Parody Song


by Joe J Thomas

(parody of “If I Could Read Your Mind, Love” by Gordon Lightfoot)

… and if you like this one, you might also enjoy this:

Alone Again, In The Booth

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
I joined a pay-to-play site
‘Cuz I got my voice to sell
They send me lots of auditions
And I’m doin’ really well
Then I reach the part where the paycheck comes
A dollar ninety three
Are you frickin’ kiddin’ me?!?!?
This headset mic is really boss
It’ll take me twenty bucks to pay it off
~~~
If I could read your copy
For a product you’d like to sell
Be on a national commercial
The kind that pays my bills
Maybe I could be on a cartoon show
And be famous on TV
Or a hero in a game
The Simpsons or an Anime
Can’t you see I only need a break
~~~
My fans would think I’m a movie star
With a mansion on the beach
Or maybe even two
With lots of green, I’m on the scene with paparazzi crowding all round me
But for now I should be real
I never learned how to act on stage
And I’ve got to say that they just don’t get it
I don’t know where I went wrong
But my money’s gone and I just can’t get it back
~~~ (end) ~~~

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Funny or Die!

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Funny or Die!

Now appearing on the Funny or Die home page… My “Join The Republican Party” video!

Please click on the above, and be sure to vote 😉

Thanks much!

Joe

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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The Path of the (Yodeling) Pickle

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The Path of the (Yodeling) Pickle

*** UPDATED 4/30/2018 STEPHEN FRY TWEET! (at the bottom) ***

Yodelling Pickle by Archie McPhee

      Joe's Yodel (Joe J Thomas)

How did learning to yodel lead to Weird Al, George Takei, The Today Show and Gorillaz?

It all began in 2006, with a contest by the Seattle novelty company Archie McPhee.

They were searching for a yodel.

I was a singer, but had never yodeled. So I consulted the internet and found YodelCourse.org

After some free lessons, I submitted my contest entry and forgot about it.

… until 100 rubber chickens showed up on my doorstep!
Archie McPhee - Deluxe Rubber Chicken

I’d won the contest, and the prize was 100 rubber chickens, plus my yodel in a toy.

Now, the first toy (Feb, 2007) was not the Yodeling Pickle, but instead was the “Remote Control Hopping Yodeling Lederhosen” (with a knockwurst remote, of course):
Remote Control, Hopping, Yodeling Lederhosen

Then in April of 2007 came the now famous “Yodeling Pickle”:
Yodelling Pickle by Archie McPhee

In December of 2008, the Today Show with Cathy Lee and Hoda reviewed the pickle:
Yodeling Pickle - Kathy Lee Gifford
Kathy Lee Gifford sang with it and said “Nothin’ beats the Singin’ Pickle!”

Sales of the Yodeling Pickle were great, and soon they came out with other yodeling products (more on those below).

On December 26, 2010, the Grammy winning band “Gorillaz” album “The Fall” featured the yodel on track 15: “Seattle Yodel”:
Gorillaz - The Fall - Front Cover

You can download the whole album for free at: Gorillaz – The Fall (at Archive.Org)

      Gorillaz - Seattle Yodel

 
On August 5, 2011, Archie McPhee released their own video of the track:

On March 26, 2013: Archie McPhee announced “International Yodeling Pickle Day“!!!

On May 22, 2013: George Takei posted his comedic review of the Yodeling Pickle on Amazon:

My latest Wednsday Weview. This item was NOT what I thought it was. At all. http://amzn.to/14Rz5aU

Posted by George Takei on Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Yodeling Pickle - George Takei + Weird Al Reviews

And on June 17, 2015: Weird Al Yankovic tweeted this (along with a review on Amazon)
“You can have my electronic yodeling pickle WHEN YOU PRY IT FROM MY COLD, DEAD FINGERS.”
Yodeling Pickle - Weird Al Yankovic

On June 2, 2017: Gizmodo posted an article on Gorillaz and the Seattle Yodel Track:

On July 16, 2017, George Takei included the Yodeling Pickle in a video review from Knowable:

Weird Products From Amazon

Because who couldn't use a yodeling pickle? via Knowable

Posted by George Takei on Sunday, July 16, 2017

And on April 30, 2018: Stephen Fry tweeted:
 
“I don’t know what a Yodelling Pickle is, all I know is that I want one. And in an instant absolute and foot-stamping Veruca Salt kind of way”
Yodeling Pickle - Stephen Fry Tweet 20180430

Other Yodeling products from Archie McPhee:

Gerkin for a living,
Joe “Yodelling Pickle” Thomas

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Doctor Who: Widen Your Gaze (part 3)

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Doctor Who: Widen Your Gaze (part 3)

Afternoon Tea Adventures presents a brand new Doctor Who audio drama in 3 parts.

Chapter Three: Marching as to War
Welcott prepares to march his undead army to 1950’s England, to wage war against the Establishment. VTI Security Forces have been ordered to destroy The Space, and all the colonists living there. Julia Shahid is losing her mind. And the Doctor is finally opening her eyes to what’s going on.

Doctor Who - Widen Your Gaze - chapter 3

Listen to part two here:

Also available on iTunes (click here)

And on YouTube:

(did you miss part one or two? here they are 😉

Doctor Who: Widen Your Gaze (part 1)

Doctor Who: Widen Your Gaze (part 2)

Doctor Who: Widen Your Gaze – a science fiction ghost story.

“The mind is its own place, and in its self
Can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven.”
–John Milton, Paradise Lost.

Palestine 1975: The Doctor’s companion, under surveillance by CIA agents, writes a letter to her younger sister in New York City.

England, 1955: a grieving father obsessively searches for the ghost of his dead son.

Hyperspace, the 22nd Century: Something is threatening a community in thrall to an ancient alien technology, shrouded in myth and legend.

As all three events collide, the Doctor finds herself in a bloodied life-or-death race to piece together an inter-dimensional mystery that threatens to tear open the divide between sanity and madness and the living and the dead.

In a spectral, hostile darkness, sometimes the best thing you can do to survive is to widen your gaze.

Chapter Three: Marching as to War
Welcott prepares to march his undead army to 1950’s England, to wage war against the Establishment. VTI Security Forces have been ordered to destroy The Space, and all the colonists living there. Julia Shahid is losing her mind. And the Doctor is finally opening her eyes to what’s going on.

CAST
The Doctor … K. Woo
Julia Shahid … Valina Cutler
Welcott … Joe J. Thomas
Fair Hair/Soul … Justin Fife
Lupez … Lisa Michaud
Selina … Fazia Rizvi
Cruz … Al Gordon

Written by Vince Stadon
Doctor Who logo by John Callaghan
Art by Valina Cutler
Many thanks to freesound.org

Afternoon Tea Adventures‘ Doctor Who series is a free, not-for-profit fan production and is in no way associated with the British Broadcasting Corporation. It was created as a celebration of the series, without intent to supersede or infringe on existing copyrights or intellectual property. Doctor Who, the TARDIS, and other registered sounds and concepts remain property of the BBC.

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Hookah Burger!!!

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Hookah Burger!!!

Ok, so where did this bit of madness come from?

There’s a tiny stand-alone restaurant in our neighborhood. It used to be some kind of “Wrap” place, then it was empty for years.

Finally, a minor burger chain bought it! Hurray! And with a college nearby, it should be a huge success, right?

Nope. New seats. Outdoor TVs. Cheap plastic barrier and fence with plastic plants. New heaters.

Nothing.

So… The owners set it up as a Hookah place instead!

Sure. That’s a natural transition.

… and … it’s dormant again.

But I can still wish for “Hookah Burger!!!”

BTW, there’s a real “Hookah Burger” restaurant in Russia.
You can visit them here (WARNING! Slightly NSFW!): Hookah Burger Russia

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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The Power of Voice Over

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The Power of Voice Over

As voice actors, we often get caught up in the process, and forget the impact that our voices can have on a production.

Recently, I saw a car commercial from Lincoln named “Olivia’s Wish List”. It was a very cute spot featuring a girl in a car who makes wishes on a snow globe. She wishes for snow, toys, dancing. The audio track is only music (The Philadelphia Orchestra “Suite for Variety Orchestra No. 1: VII. Waltz No. 2”).

I wondered how much the feel of the commercial could be changed by adding a voice over track. I chose a more sinister take than the original, but everything else (video, music) is the same.

Here’s my take on the commercial: “Olivia’s Evil Wish”

… and for your reference, the original is here:

What other ways could you interpret this spot? How can your voice breath life into the productions you’re involved in?

Stay creative, my friends!
Joe

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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