Ode to Obi-Wan

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Ode to Obi-Wan

(from “Star Wars: A Forced Musical”)

aired on the Dr Demento Thanksgiving show Nov 18, 2017 (click for info)

Illustrations by K. Woo
Lyrics and Voice by Joe J Thomas
Copyright 2017 Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump
www.JoesDump.com
Not a Quinn-Martin Production

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
Ode to Obi-Wan
(from “Star Wars: A Forced Musical”)
Written by: Joe J Thomas

Oh my father was full of midichlorians they say
That’s why the force in me is so hot
I’d go out in my speeder shootin’ womp rats all day
But now tell me what have I got?

If you’re gonna be a Jedi
You wanna have a dead eye
With a saber or blaster gun
But you gotta have a master
When you’re headed for disaster
Oh the man that you want’s Obi-Wan

He’s a guy who knew your father
But don’t you go and bother
Asking what dear ole’ dad become
Cuz you might be relater
To someone named Darth Vader
No you can’t trust that old Obi-Wan

Obi-Wan! Obi-Wan!
Did you know that he trained Anakin?

If you’re the type of mister
Who’d go and kiss his sister
And fly round with a guy named Han
Get your butt to Dagobah
You gotta train with Yoda
See the ghost of your friend, meet your paw in the end
But it all began with Obi-Wan

If you sneak into the Death Star
And your Jedi skills are sub-par
All your friends will be suffer-un
You could lose a hand to daddy
See a sarlaac eat a baddy
Have a trash bin squeezin’ your buns

You may meet in a cantina
With a ugly dude who’s meaner
Than a Wookie with fleas by gum
Or hear ghosts in your X-Wing
Say your nav comp is a bad thing
Never watch movies three, two, or one

Obi-Wan! Obi-Wan!
Get the heck out my head Obi-Wan!

If you’re knocked out by a Wampa
Or stuffed into a Ton-ton
Win a race on the Kessel run
Defeat an evil empire
Then dance around a campfire
Carbonite, Saber Fight, Ewoks might die of fright
Heck you might even see Obi-Wan

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

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What’s Wrong (with everyone else)?

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What’s Wrong (with everyone else)?

Unaware.
That’s what’s wrong.
Unaware of others.
Of themselves.

Of their own needs, wants, drives.

Flaws and strengths.

Unaware of time…
And of time’s precious, fleeting nature.

Tragic.
Watching them led through life by those who are only slightly more aware.
Those with ill intent.

It’s time to wake the fuck up.

Own your life.
Own your future.

Become aware.

Maybe then you’ll stop bothering me.

~~~ end ~~~

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Henderson and Havner: episode 24!

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Henderson and Havner, episode 24 – “It’s Exactly Who You Suspected”

Henderson and Havner


In today’s episode:

Just who’s behind Los Angeles’s crippling footwear crime wave? And who is the Marauding Marauder? And do we really trust H&H to figure all that out? *** SEASON 3 FINALE! ***

Listen to episode 24 of this exclusive series from Pendant Productions:

      HandH24master

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Man of Collusion – Parody Song

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“Man of Collusion” (parody of “Land of Confusion” by Genesis)

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
“Man of Collusion”
(parody of “Land of Confusion” by Genesis)
Lyrics and Vocals by Joe J Thomas
———-
He’s cooking up a thousand schemes
Inspiring a million memes
But I can read his midnight tweets
I’ll bet his phone overheats

Now did you watch Fox News today?
They say the danger’s gone away
But CNN’s still ringing in my ears
Showing all the president’s fears

There’s alternate facts
Too many lies
Constitutional crisis
And not much truth to go round
Can’t you see this is a man of collusion?

Putin helps Trump with winning
Top secrets are what he’s giving
The Whitehouse is all on trial
His voters in deep denial. Yeah.

Hey businessman where are you now?
Off golfing like some well fed cow
Or hiding in your golden tower
You’re losing control of your power

There isn’t a wall
No health plan or tax
There’s obstruction of justice
But there’s not much truth to go round
When can we convict these men of collusion?

Kushner and Flynn and Sessions
Have gotten the Russian’s blessings
With Manafort, Page and Stone
Protected with Trump by Michael Cohen

Trump teases Kim Jong Un
He acts like a New York goon
This tiny brained orange hair villain
Is toying around with killin’ us

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Trump Feelings via Dr Otto

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My Feelings on Trump, as Expressed by Dr. Otto

Only the amazing Jim Varney as Dr. Otto can truly sum up my feelings about Donald Trump:

Treat yourself! Be sure to Buy or Rent “Dr. Otto and the Riddle of the Gloom Beam” on Amazon here!

Bonus!!! Watch my review of “Dr. Otto”, and “Captain Invincible” here:

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Henderson and Havner: episode 23!

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Henderson and Havner, episode 23 – “The Status Quo Returns”

Henderson and Havner


In today’s episode:

H&H get their snoop on with Captain and Chiefy, and uncover surprising information! Also Dr. Anderson is around for some reason.

Listen to episode 23 of this exclusive series from Pendant Productions:

      HandH23master

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Brown Derby Jump (cover song)

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Brown Derby Jump

This week I’m posting a cover version of “Brown Derby Jump” by Cherry Poppin’ Daddies.

I like to keep my singing chops on par, so I try to challenge myself with new material. On this song, I found the timing of the words and music to be very interesting.

Hope you enjoy it!

      Brown Derby Jump (cover song by Joe J Thomas)

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Additional Voices

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Additional Voices

If you look through my IMdB page you might notice a couple of roles that just say “Additional Voices”. Believe it or not, those are some of my favorite gigs. The other cast members on these productions usually tend toward the stellar. Here’s a few examples where you’ll only see “Additional Voices” in the credits:

  • Walla Work
    When movies and TV shows need filler voices and miscellaneous noises in the background, that’s called Walla. A group of people known as a “Loop Group” are all in one session and become all of the people in a restaurant, or at a county fair, or even running from a Kaiju. (Yeah… It’s a lot of fun!)
  • Minor Characters
    These may be characters in the script with only a handful of lines. They interact with the main characters and move the story along. The shopkeeper. The waiter. Old artist at the park. It’s a great way to play a variety of roles in one session.
  • Voice Matching
    When the original actor is not available for pickups in the post-production phase of movies and TV, an impersonator may be hired to fill in. This also happens when studios want to try a variety of different dialog as scratch tracks before calling in the star to record. It is a very niche field, to be sure. Always a challenge and really exciting to perform. Since the original actor gets the credit for the main role, the impersonator is often credited as “Additional Voices”

So… I’m proud to be “Mr Additional Voices”!

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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The Improv Trick

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The Improv Trick

Hey Voice Actor gang!

I’m always recommending Improv as a great tool for voice acting. It helps you to quickly interpret copy, build characters, react to situations and more.

So, if you’re near Los Angeles, check out “The Improv Trick“. It’s run by Second City alum Bill Chott (IMDB page here), and has classes in Sherman Oaks and Pasadena.

Anyone can take the sample class for $20 to try it out. PLUS! If you sign up for the Lifetime class and showcase you can take it again whenever you’d like FREE!

They also have periodic Improv Jam sessions that you can jump in on to practice.

Check out the website for more info at: www.TheImprovTrick.com

… and if you’re not in LA, be sure to look into Rebecca’s Improv for VO (ImproVO), run via Skype at: LoveThatImproVO.com

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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