Joe’s Bassment: You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch

Posted on May 27, 2019 by Joe's Dump

Joe’s Bassment: You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch

How low can Joe go?
Cover Versions of Popular Songs in the Key of Bass

As a Bass/Baritone singer, there’s a lot of songs I’d like to sing that are just too high in their original key. So… Welcome to Joe’s Bassment! Where I sing a popular song in a lower key.

This week’s song is “You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch” originally sung by Thurl Ravenscroft (also the voice of Tony the Tiger). It’s already plenty low enough, so I’m singing in the original key.

Enjoy!

You're A Mean One Mr Grinch (Joe's Bassment: Joe J Thomas)

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
“You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch”
Cover version by: Joe J Thomas
Original by: Thurl Ravenscroft
You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch. You really are a heel
You’re as cuddly as a cactus. You’re as charming as an eel, Mr. Grinch
You’re a bad banana with a greasy black peel
You’re a monster, Mr. Grinch. Your heart’s an empty hole
Your brain is full of spiders. You’ve got garlic in your soul, Mr Grinch
I wouldn’t touch you with a, Thirty-nine and a half foot pole
You’re a vile one, Mr. Grinch. You have termites in your smile
You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile, Mr Grinch
Given the choice between the two of you, I’d take the seasick crocodile
You’re a foul one, Mr. Grinch. You’re a nasty wasty skunk
Your heart is full of unwashed socks, Your soul is full of gunk, Mr Grinch
The three words that best describe you, Are as follows, and I quote
Stink, Stank, Stunk
You’re a rotter Mr Grinch. You’re the king of sinful sots
Your heart’s a dead tomato splotched with moldy purple spots, Mr Grinch
Your soul is an appalling dump heap, Overflowing with the most disgraceful
Assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable, Mangled up in tangled up knots
You nauseate me, Mr Grinch. With a nauseous super nos
You’re a crooked jerky jockey and. You drive a crooked hoss, Mr Grinch
You’re a three-decker sauerkraut, And toadstool sandwich, With arsenic sauce

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

But, Dr. ButtDoctor (parody song)

Posted on May 13, 2019 by Joe's Dump

But, Dr. ButtDoctor

by: Joe J Thomas

Parody Song about a Proctology Visit Gone Weird

*** Airing on Dr. Demento this week!!! ***

Written and Sung by Joe J Thomas
Featuring Karyn O’Bryant as Nurse Feratu at www.karynobryant.com
Music Parody Mash-Up of:
Matchmaker from Fiddler on the Roof and I Feel Pretty from West Side Story
Copyright 2019, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.

Available for purchase on The FuMP here:
But, Dr. ButtDoctor! (on The FuMP)

ButDrButtDoctor_JoesDump

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
But, Dr. ButtDoctor
Parody Song about a Proctology Visit Gone Weird
By Joe J Thomas of Joe’s Dump www.JoesDump.com
Featuring Karyn O’Bryant as Nurse Feratu at www.karynobryant.com
Music Parody Mash-Up of:
Matchmaker from Fiddler on the Roof and I Feel Pretty from West Side Story
~~~ intro (spoken):
Nurse: Mr. Thomas?
Joe: Yes?
Nurse: Dr. Buttdoctor will see you now.
Joe: Thank you, Nurse, uh?
Nurse: Feratu. Nurse Feratu.
Joe: Ah… ok.
Doc: Come in Mr. Thomas. Now what seems to be the problem…
Joe: Uh, Well…
~~~ parody (matchmaker)
But Dr. Buttdoctor stare at my crack
I’m dropping trow. Baby got back.
But Dr. Buttdoctor give me a sign
That everything will be fine
But Dr. Buttdoctor glove on your hand
How ‘bout a clue into your plan
Why I’m exposed here in such a cold room
With goosebumps on my full moon
~~~ parody (i feel pretty)
What’s that medieval tool lurking there
(What tool what where)
Where could that horrendous thing go
(I’m sure I don’t know)
Please don’t plug it in
It’d be a sin
Call my next of kin
What a horror show!
~~~ parody (matchmaker)
But Dr. Buttdoctor I changed my mind.
No need to look. Don’t waste your time.
If I just leave now right through the front door
And run down the corridor
But Dr. Buttdoctor this door is locked
I’ll pull up my pants so I’m not half-cocked
Once you unlock this I’ll be on my way
I’m sure things will be ok
~~~ parody (i feel pretty)
All those flashing lights on that console there!
(What console, where?)
Am I in a bad sci-fi show?
(Oh heavens no)
Are we up in space?
Don’t take off your face!
What the heck’s this place?
It’s a UFO!!!
~~~ parody (matchmaker)
Alien Buttdoctor why are you here?
Did you just want, a look at my rear?
Please drop me off at the planet called Earth
So, I’ll tell you what. Don’t think I’m a nut.
Turn this thing round. Back down to the ground.
But please keep away from my butt!
(Oy!)
~~~ ending: (UFO lift-off sound)

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

Doctor Who: Big Stompy Robots (part 1)

Posted on May 6, 2019 by Joe's Dump

Doctor Who: Big Stompy Robots (part 1)

Afternoon Tea Adventures presents a brand new Doctor Who audio drama in 3 parts.

Listen to part one here:

More Afternoon Tea Adventures available on iTunes (click here)

Or on YouTube:
Afternoon Tea Adventures on YouTube

Doctor Who: Big Stompy Robots – A sci-fi romp.
Every week (or as broadcasting schedules permit) the fictional Xenos Coverage Crew from Star Newz reports the latest in the ongoing battles against an invading force of cruel lizard aggressors. Leading the charge in this low-budget sci-fi production are an amiably dim news anchor and a headstrong field reporter. Neither of them have a hair out of place…

…not even when real Big Stompy Robots come down from the skies, and Star Newz and their studio find themselves in need of desperate help from one of their biggest fans – The Doctor! As reality becomes stranger than fiction, the stakes get raised and soon a whole planet faces imminent destruction!

What shadowy secrets are locked away in a state-of-the-art production office?

What juicy role will star actress Connie London play in the ongoing adventures of The Doctor and Julia?

And at the end of the world, just what use are a tourist map and a smug canary?

Chapter One: Call The Medic!
Lights! Camera! Action! The Doctor and Julia accidentally make a scene, as force-of-nature leading actress Connie London makes her big entrance, and all hell breaks loose…

CAST
The Doctor … K. Woo
Julia Shahid … Fazia Rizvi
Connie London … Valina Cutler
Brick Thrustjaw … Joe J. Thomas
Stroheimberg … Justin Fife
Peter/Marjorie … Lisa Michaud
Agamadae Warrior … Kayla Gill
Trainer …. Kyle Borcz

Written by K. Woo & Vince Stadon
Directed by Kyle Borcz
Music by Kevin MacLeod
Doctor Who logo by John Callaghan
Art by K. Woo
Many thanks to freesound.org

Afternoon Tea Adventures‘ Doctor Who series is a free, not-for-profit fan production and is in no way associated with the British Broadcasting Corporation. It was created as a celebration of the series, without intent to supersede or infringe on existing copyrights or intellectual property. Doctor Who, the TARDIS, and other registered sounds and concepts remain property of the BBC.

Yes, I Do Wear Cartoon Undies (2019 Edition)…

Gallery

Posted on April 22, 2019 by Joe's Dump

This gallery contains 7 photos.

Yes, I Do Wear Cartoon Undies (2019 Edition)… Click on any image for a larger size: … and if you’d like to buy some too, check out: Urban Outfitters: Men’s Underwear All content written and voiced by Joe J … Continue reading →

¿Dónde Estás, Yolanda? (cover song)

Posted on April 15, 2019 by Joe's Dump

¿Dónde Estás, Yolanda?

This week I’m posting a cover version of “¿Dónde Estás, Yolanda?” by Pink Martini.

I like to keep my singing chops on par, so I try to challenge myself with new material.

This is my very first song in Spanish!

Hope you enjoy it!

¿Dónde Estás Yolanda? (cover song by Joe J Thomas)

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

Joe’s Bassment: Joehemian Rhapsody

Posted on March 25, 2019 by Joe's Dump

Joe’s Bassment: Joehemian Rhapsody

Cover Versions of Popular Songs in the Key of Bass

As a Bass/Baritone singer, there’s a lot of songs I’d like to sing that are just too high in their original key. So… Welcome to Joe’s Bassment! Where I sing a popular song in a lower key.

This week’s song is “Bohemian Rhapsody” originally by Queen.

Enjoy!

Joehemian Rhapsody (Joe's Bassment: Joe J Thomas)

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

Sixty Candles! (another Birthday Song)

Posted on March 4, 2019 by Joe's Dump

Sixty Candles

by: Joe J Thomas

(parody of Sixteen Candles by The Crests)

SixtyCandles_JoesDump

I’m writing a birthday song for every decade.
My last one was “Don’t Worry, You’re Fifty”.

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
Sixty Candles
by: Joe J Thomas
(parody of Sixteen Candles by The Crests)
Happy birthday. You look kind of shaky.
Oh, you are so old.
Sixty candles. What a frightening sight.
Because they’re setting your house alight (set your house alight)
Blow out the candles. Dial nine one one.
This birthday party is no longer fun. (it’s no longer fun)
You’re over sixty. (sixty)
And on the senior scene. (senior scene)
You’ve got pension. And dentures.
And membership in AARP.
(AARP, yeah)
Sixty candles set your house aglow.
Now ash is falling from the sky like snow. (from the sky like snow)

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

Fly Trump To The Moon! (parody song)

Posted on February 26, 2019 by Joe's Dump

Fly Trump To The Moon! (parody song)

*** Warning! F-Bomb! (but it’s a classy one) ***

by: Joe J Thomas

(parody of Sinatra’s “Fly Me To The Moon”)

FREE! Wallpaper!!!

Fly Trump To The Moon (Joe J Thomas)

~~~ Lyrics: ~~~
Fly Trump To The Moon!
by: Joe J Thomas
www.JoesDump.com

(parody of Sinatra’s “Fly Me To The Moon”)

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
Fly Trump to the moon
Let him drift among the stars
Let him see if he can breathe
On a-Jupiter and Mars

In other words: Space Force One!
In other words: Donald, bite me!

Make us great again
You can resign, you crashing bore
Give me what I long for
Trump behind a prison door

In other words: Your time is due…
In other words: Trump, Fuck You!

– music break –

Mueller’s coming soon
Your family’s downfall is assured
Retribution’s on the way
For what we’ve all endured

In other words: Your time is due…
In other words…
In other words: Trump, Fuck … You!

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

Would You Kill Baby Hitler?

Posted on February 18, 2019 by Joe's Dump

Would You Kill Baby Hitler?

a poem by Joe J Thomas

Would you kill baby Hitler?
If you could go back in time.
Knowing what he might become.
Or would you give him love.
Care for him.
Educate him.
Raise him with a broadened perspective.
It may sound silly.
But these are the choices we face every day.
And what would happen if Hitler were a different person?
The people who wanted him.
Those who used him for their causes.
The ones who rode the wave of power.
And wanted to be superior to others.
Wouldn’t they all still be there?
And would the outcome really change?
There’s only one way to know.

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

Top 10 VO Scam Signs

Posted on January 21, 2019 by Joe's Dump

Top 10 VO Scam Signs

Scams are rampant in the Voice Over industry. So how can you spot one?

Here are my “Top 10” signs for VO Scams (in no particular order):

Promises you’ll make millions (or even billions)
Gives you a “professional” demo at the end of a very expensive class
Tells you all you need is a microphone and their exclusive secret method
Claims to be famous but only has 1 IMDB credit (and it’s a short film where they’re the director/producer/star/etc.)
Runs a “Pay-To-Play” site
Their website has misspellings.. a *lot* of misspellings.
Lists student success stories, but you can’t find any of the students online
Has their own demos on a free Wix site, Soundcloud, or V123
All of their “insider industry connections” are pictures of them with famous people at conventions
You can’t find anyone who admits being trained by them

The best protection against being scammed: Do your research. Ask around. Be cautious.

It’s your responsibility to protect your money, career and reputation.

Good luck out there!
Joe

Joe’s Bassment: You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

Like this:

But, Dr. ButtDoctor

by: Joe J Thomas

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

Like this:

Doctor Who: Big Stompy Robots (part 1)

Like this:

Like this:

¿Dónde Estás, Yolanda?

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

Like this:

Joe’s Bassment: Joehemian Rhapsody

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

Like this:

Sixty Candles

by: Joe J Thomas

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

Like this:

Fly Trump To The Moon! (parody song)

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

Like this:

Would You Kill Baby Hitler?

a poem by Joe J Thomas

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

Like this:

Top 10 VO Scam Signs

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

Like this: