~~~ Lyrics ~~~
“If I Didn’t Care”
Cover version by: Joe J Thomas
Original by: The Ink Spots
If I didn’t care more than words can say
If I didn’t care would I feel this way?
If this isn’t love then why do I thrill?
And what makes my head go ’round and ’round
While my heart stands still?
If I didn’t care would it be the same?
Would my ev’ry prayer begin and end with just your name?
And would I be sure that this is love beyond compare?
Would all this be true if I didn’t care for you?
Optional… Monologue:
If I didn’t care honey child, mo’ than words can say. If I didn’t care baby, would I feel this way? Darlin’ if this isn’t love, then why do I thrill so much? What is it that makes my head go ’round and ’round while my heart just stands still so much?
If I didn’t care would it be the same?
Would my ev’ry prayer begin and end with just your name?
And would I be sure that this is love beyond compare?
Would all this be true if I didn’t care for you?
All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com
…and available for download and purchase at The FuMP!!!
WereShoppingAtTheMall_JoesDump
Written and Sung by: Joe J Thomas
Copyright 2019, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All rights reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.
Run time: 3:11
~~~ Lyrics: ~~~
I don’t understand… What you want to buy here
Purses, clothes and shoes
Any way I lose
I’m carrying the bags… Anything for you, dear
Oh my aching back
I think it’s out of whack
We’re Shopping at the Mall
My wife just bought it all
It won’t fit in the car
I need to find a bar
Then we got some lunch… Something from the food court
I wanted Peiking Duck
But I was out of luck
The burger they served me… Wasn’t of the meat sort
It smelled of month-old grease
Could we just go home please?
And then she turned to me
As happy as can be
That’s when I knew for sure
That I must still endure
We’re Shopping at the Mall
My wife just bought it all
I’d better call the man
To bring a U-Haul van
Does she know I’m here? Why is she still shopping?
Maybe I should speak
My legs are getting weak
We’re never going home… There is just no stopping
Have I lost my mind?
Or just lost track of time?
My credit card’s aflame
I can’t recall my name
How long have we been here
It really seems like years
The room is spinning round
I tumble to the ground
The medics heard my call
We’re Shopping at the Mall
We’re Shopping at the Mall
mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm
We’re Shopping at the Mall
We’re Shopping at the Mall
All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com
Data was collected from IMDb on the careers of 1,512,472 actors and 896,029 actresses as recorded as of January 16th, 2016, including careers stretching back to the first recorded movie in 1888.
Their model predicts with up to 85% accuracy whether an actor or actress is likely to have a brighter future, or if the best days are, unfortunately, behind them.
Some of the key findings:
69% of Actors and 68% Actresses have careers that only last one year.
The unemployment rate for Actors/Actresses hovers around 90%
Acting careers run in hot and cold streaks.
Cold streaks tend to fade more quickly for Actors than for Actresses.
For a more detailed look at this study, please follow the links below…
Doctor Who: Big Stompy Robots – A sci-fi romp.
Every week (or as broadcasting schedules permit) the fictional Xenos Coverage Crew from Star Newz reports the latest in the ongoing battles against an invading force of cruel lizard aggressors. Leading the charge in this low-budget sci-fi production are an amiably dim news anchor and a headstrong field reporter. Neither of them have a hair out of place…
…not even when real Big Stompy Robots come down from the skies, and Star Newz and their studio find themselves in need of desperate help from one of their biggest fans – The Doctor! As reality becomes stranger than fiction, the stakes get raised and soon a whole planet faces imminent destruction!
What shadowy secrets are locked away in a state-of-the-art production office?
What juicy role will star actress Connie London play in the ongoing adventures of The Doctor and Julia?
And at the end of the world, just what use are a tourist map and a smug canary?
Chapter Two: Plan D from Outer Space!
Last we left our heroes, the planet was under attack by a fleet of war-mongering lizards! As a giant robot sentry counts down the remaining hours until the end of the world, the Doctor, Julia, and Connie must devise a plan to save everyone, with a just little dash of cinematographic magic sprinkled in for fun.
CAST
The Doctor … K. Woo
Julia Shahid … Fazia Rizvi
Connie London … Valina Cutler
Brick Thrustjaw … Joe J. Thomas
Stroheimberg … Justin Fife
DAVE… Alan Gordon
Warlord Kruger … Kayla Gill
Newton … Lisa Michaud
Tech … Justin Fife
Extra …. Kyle Borcz
Agamidae Sentry … Vince Stadon
Written by K. Woo & Vince Stadon
Directed by Kyle Borcz
Music by Kevin MacLeod
Doctor Who logo by John Callaghan
Art by K. Woo
Many thanks to freesound.org
Afternoon Tea Adventures‘ Doctor Who series is a free, not-for-profit fan production and is in no way associated with the British Broadcasting Corporation. It was created as a celebration of the series, without intent to supersede or infringe on existing copyrights or intellectual property. Doctor Who, the TARDIS, and other registered sounds and concepts remain property of the BBC.
All of the Business, Voice Acting, Studio, and Voice-Over advice onJoe’s Dump, in one place! See the top menu on the site for the new “VO Business” option!
How low can Joe go? Cover Versions of Popular Songs in the Key of Bass
As a Bass/Baritone singer, there’s a lot of songs I’d like to sing that are just too high in their original key. So… Welcome to Joe’s Bassment! Where I sing a popular song in a lower key.
This week’s song is “You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch” originally sung by Thurl Ravenscroft (also the voice of Tony the Tiger). It’s already plenty low enough, so I’m singing in the original key.
Enjoy!
You're A Mean One Mr Grinch (Joe's Bassment: Joe J Thomas)
~~~ Lyrics ~~~
“You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch”
Cover version by: Joe J Thomas
Original by: Thurl Ravenscroft
You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch. You really are a heel
You’re as cuddly as a cactus. You’re as charming as an eel, Mr. Grinch
You’re a bad banana with a greasy black peel
You’re a monster, Mr. Grinch. Your heart’s an empty hole
Your brain is full of spiders. You’ve got garlic in your soul, Mr Grinch
I wouldn’t touch you with a, Thirty-nine and a half foot pole
You’re a vile one, Mr. Grinch. You have termites in your smile
You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile, Mr Grinch
Given the choice between the two of you, I’d take the seasick crocodile
You’re a foul one, Mr. Grinch. You’re a nasty wasty skunk
Your heart is full of unwashed socks, Your soul is full of gunk, Mr Grinch
The three words that best describe you, Are as follows, and I quote
Stink, Stank, Stunk
You’re a rotter Mr Grinch. You’re the king of sinful sots
Your heart’s a dead tomato splotched with moldy purple spots, Mr Grinch
Your soul is an appalling dump heap, Overflowing with the most disgraceful
Assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable, Mangled up in tangled up knots
You nauseate me, Mr Grinch. With a nauseous super nos
You’re a crooked jerky jockey and. You drive a crooked hoss, Mr Grinch
You’re a three-decker sauerkraut, And toadstool sandwich, With arsenic sauce
All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com
Written and Sung by Joe J Thomas
Featuring Karyn O’Bryant as Nurse Feratu at www.karynobryant.com
Music Parody Mash-Up of:
Matchmaker from Fiddler on the Roof and I Feel Pretty from West Side Story
Copyright 2019, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.
Copyright 2019, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.
~~~ Lyrics ~~~
But, Dr. ButtDoctor
Parody Song about a Proctology Visit Gone Weird
By Joe J Thomas of Joe’s Dump www.JoesDump.com
Featuring Karyn O’Bryant as Nurse Feratu at www.karynobryant.com
Music Parody Mash-Up of:
Matchmaker from Fiddler on the Roof and I Feel Pretty from West Side Story
~~~ intro (spoken):
Nurse: Mr. Thomas?
Joe: Yes?
Nurse: Dr. Buttdoctor will see you now.
Joe: Thank you, Nurse, uh?
Nurse: Feratu. Nurse Feratu.
Joe: Ah… ok.
Doc: Come in Mr. Thomas. Now what seems to be the problem…
Joe: Uh, Well…
~~~ parody (matchmaker)
But Dr. Buttdoctor stare at my crack
I’m dropping trow. Baby got back.
But Dr. Buttdoctor give me a sign
That everything will be fine
But Dr. Buttdoctor glove on your hand
How ‘bout a clue into your plan
Why I’m exposed here in such a cold room
With goosebumps on my full moon
~~~ parody (i feel pretty)
What’s that medieval tool lurking there
(What tool what where)
Where could that horrendous thing go
(I’m sure I don’t know)
Please don’t plug it in
It’d be a sin
Call my next of kin
What a horror show!
~~~ parody (matchmaker)
But Dr. Buttdoctor I changed my mind.
No need to look. Don’t waste your time.
If I just leave now right through the front door
And run down the corridor
But Dr. Buttdoctor this door is locked
I’ll pull up my pants so I’m not half-cocked
Once you unlock this I’ll be on my way
I’m sure things will be ok
~~~ parody (i feel pretty)
All those flashing lights on that console there!
(What console, where?)
Am I in a bad sci-fi show?
(Oh heavens no)
Are we up in space?
Don’t take off your face!
What the heck’s this place?
It’s a UFO!!!
~~~ parody (matchmaker)
Alien Buttdoctor why are you here?
Did you just want, a look at my rear?
Please drop me off at the planet called Earth
So, I’ll tell you what. Don’t think I’m a nut.
Turn this thing round. Back down to the ground.
But please keep away from my butt!
(Oy!)
~~~ ending: (UFO lift-off sound)
All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com
Doctor Who: Big Stompy Robots – A sci-fi romp.
Every week (or as broadcasting schedules permit) the fictional Xenos Coverage Crew from Star Newz reports the latest in the ongoing battles against an invading force of cruel lizard aggressors. Leading the charge in this low-budget sci-fi production are an amiably dim news anchor and a headstrong field reporter. Neither of them have a hair out of place…
…not even when real Big Stompy Robots come down from the skies, and Star Newz and their studio find themselves in need of desperate help from one of their biggest fans – The Doctor! As reality becomes stranger than fiction, the stakes get raised and soon a whole planet faces imminent destruction!
What shadowy secrets are locked away in a state-of-the-art production office?
What juicy role will star actress Connie London play in the ongoing adventures of The Doctor and Julia?
And at the end of the world, just what use are a tourist map and a smug canary?
Chapter One: Call The Medic!
Lights! Camera! Action! The Doctor and Julia accidentally make a scene, as force-of-nature leading actress Connie London makes her big entrance, and all hell breaks loose…
CAST
The Doctor … K. Woo
Julia Shahid … Fazia Rizvi
Connie London … Valina Cutler
Brick Thrustjaw … Joe J. Thomas
Stroheimberg … Justin Fife
Peter/Marjorie … Lisa Michaud
Agamadae Warrior … Kayla Gill
Trainer …. Kyle Borcz
Written by K. Woo & Vince Stadon
Directed by Kyle Borcz
Music by Kevin MacLeod
Doctor Who logo by John Callaghan
Art by K. Woo
Many thanks to freesound.org
Afternoon Tea Adventures‘ Doctor Who series is a free, not-for-profit fan production and is in no way associated with the British Broadcasting Corporation. It was created as a celebration of the series, without intent to supersede or infringe on existing copyrights or intellectual property. Doctor Who, the TARDIS, and other registered sounds and concepts remain property of the BBC.
Yes, I Do Wear Cartoon Undies (2019 Edition)… Click on any image for a larger size: … and if you’d like to buy some too, check out: Urban Outfitters: Men’s Underwear All content written and voiced by Joe J … Continue reading →
