Fly Trump To The Moon! (parody song)

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Fly Trump To The Moon! (parody song)

*** Warning! F-Bomb! (but it’s a classy one) ***

by: Joe J Thomas

(parody of Sinatra’s “Fly Me To The Moon”)

Copyright 2019, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.

FREE! Wallpaper!!!
Trump in a Rocket Ride - Joe's Dump

      Fly Trump To The Moon (Joe J Thomas)

~~~ Lyrics: ~~~
Fly Trump To The Moon!
by: Joe J Thomas
www.JoesDump.com

(parody of Sinatra’s “Fly Me To The Moon”)

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
Fly Trump to the moon
Let him drift among the stars
Let him see if he can breathe
On a-Jupiter and Mars

In other words: Space Force One!
In other words: Donald, bite me!

Make us great again
You can resign, you crashing bore
Give me what I long for
Trump behind a prison door

In other words: Your time is due…
In other words: Trump, Fuck You!

– music break –

Mueller’s coming soon
Your family’s downfall is assured
Retribution’s on the way
For what we’ve all endured

In other words: Your time is due…
In other words…
In other words: Trump, Fuck … You!

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Would You Kill Baby Hitler?

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Would You Kill Baby Hitler?

a poem by Joe J Thomas

Hitler Animals - Joe's Dump

Would you kill baby Hitler?
If you could go back in time.
Knowing what he might become.
Or would you give him love.
Care for him.
Educate him.
Raise him with a broadened perspective.
It may sound silly.
But these are the choices we face every day.
And what would happen if Hitler were a different person?
The people who wanted him.
Those who used him for their causes.
The ones who rode the wave of power.
And wanted to be superior to others.
Wouldn’t they all still be there?
And would the outcome really change?
There’s only one way to know.

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Top 10 VO Scam Signs

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Top 10 VO Scam Signs

Scams are rampant in the Voice Over industry. So how can you spot one?

Here are my “Top 10” signs for VO Scams (in no particular order):

  • Promises you’ll make millions (or even billions)
  • Gives you a “professional” demo at the end of a very expensive class
  • Tells you all you need is a microphone and their exclusive secret method
  • Claims to be famous but only has 1 IMDB credit (and it’s a short film where they’re the director/producer/star/etc.)
  • Runs a “Pay-To-Play” site
  • Their website has misspellings.. a *lot* of misspellings.
  • Lists student success stories, but you can’t find any of the students online
  • Has their own demos on a free Wix site, Soundcloud, or V123
  • All of their “insider industry connections” are pictures of them with famous people at conventions
  • You can’t find anyone who admits being trained by them

The best protection against being scammed: Do your research. Ask around. Be cautious.

It’s your responsibility to protect your money, career and reputation.

Good luck out there!
Joe

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Mooseferatu!

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Mooseferatu: Midnight of the Elk

Mooseferatu: Midnight of the Elk (Joe's Dump)

(an original winter’s poem by Joe J Thomas)

Gather round, my calves, and you shall hear
A chilling tale of dread and fear
When day turns to night and you hear a deep “Mooooooo”!
Outside in the dark roams Mooseferatu!

He walks through the bog with his antlers aglow
A frightening sight that few shall dare know
For those who aren’t careful, he jumps from the trees
They shout in sheer terror and fall to their knees

Above all he looms – seven feet at the shoulder
Just seeing his shadow will make you feel colder
The wings on his back, sharp fangs in his mouth
There’s no use in running to the north or the south

If lady luck stands by you this winter’s night
Perhaps you’ll escape the horrible sight
Some say he’s a myth, a legend or lore
They whisper it quietly while barring the door

So when you go out in winter’s cold chill
Be certain you are wary behind every hill
Keep to the highlands – don’t go down below
Or risk Mooseferatu’s dark mournful lowe!

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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MatriXmas: Jingle Bells

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MatriXmas: Jingle Bells

Original Lyrics to “Jingles Bells” + Spybreak! by Propellerheads = MatriXmas

A non-original song parody from Joe’s Dump!

Time for some Holiday METAL that’s not tinsel …

Video:

Audio:

      MatriXmas: Jingle Bells by Joe's Dump

Poster:
MatriXmas: Jingle Bells by Joe's Dump
 
~~~ Lyrics ~~~
MatriXmas: Jingle Bells
(Jingle Bells lyrics set to Spybreak! by Propellerheads)
by Joe J Thomas of Joe’s Dump

…Santa needs a ride.

[Verse 1]
Dashing through the snow
In a one-horse open sleigh
O’er the fields we go
Laughing all the way
Bells on bobtails ring
Making spirits bright
What fun it is to ride and sing
A sleighing song tonight

[Chorus]
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh, hey
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh what fun it is to ride
In a one-horse open sleigh

…Frosty Snowballs
…Winter Warlock

[Verse 2]
A day or two ago
I thought I’d take a ride
And soon, Miss Fanny Bright
Was seated by my side
The horse was lean and lank
Misfortune seemed his lot
He got into a drifted bank
And then we got upsot

[Chorus]

…Kringle down your Chimney
…Bumbles Bounce

[Verse 3]
A day or two ago
The story I must tell
I went out on the snow
And on my back I fell
A gent was riding by
In a one-horse open sleigh
He laughed as there I sprawling lie
But quickly drove away

[Chorus]

…Burgermeister Meisterburger
…I want to be a dentist

[Verse 4]
Now the ground is white
Go it while you’re young
Take the girls tonight
And sing this sleighing song
Just get a bobtailed bay
Two forty as his speed
Hitch him to an open sleigh
And crack, you’ll take the lead

… Jingle my Bells
… Open Sleigh
… Hey!

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Political Artwork

Gallery

This gallery contains 22 photos.

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Political Artwork Over the last 3+ years, I’ve been, uh… inspired? driven? annoyed? … to create a number of Political Artwork pieces. Some are graphics, some songs, posts, etc. Below, in random order, are some of the graphic ones. Maybe … Continue reading

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The Power of Voice Over – Part II

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The Power of Voice Over – Part II

Time for another slightly altered commercial!

As voice actors, we often get caught up in the process, and forget the impact that our voices can have on a production.

I’ve been seeing a new commercial for United Health Care and AARP with people navigating a hedge maze aptly named “Navigate the Medicare Maze with UnitedHealthcare”.

I wondered how much the feel of the commercial could be changed just by adding some background voices (aka. “Walla”). Aside from the new Walla, everything else (video, music) is the same.

Here’s my take on the commercial: “Beware! The Medicare Maze!”

… and for your reference, the original is here:

What other ways could you interpret this spot? How can your voice breath life into the productions you’re involved in?

Stay creative, my friends!
Joe

P.S. Here’s the first commercial I altered “Olivia’s Evil Wish”

The Power of Voice Over

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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The IMDb 100 Club

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The IMDb 100 Club

My IMDb listing stands at 99 credits.

Joe J Thomas - IMDB 99 - JoeActor
Joe’s IMDb Listing (click here to see)

I may pass 100 this year.

Now, those of you who know me might recall that I’m not very hot on awards.
So let’s call this a Milestone instead.

Rituals and Milestones. Rites of Passage.

Although it doesn’t change how I pursue my career, it is nice to see some measure of real-world progress.

What are your personal Milestones?

What things in your career help you to appreciate the strides and progress you’ve made?

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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The Impossible VO Machine!

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The Impossible VO Machine!

Is it possible to build a silent, portable DAW that’s powerful enough for gaming?

That was my quest… and I’m up and running on that impossible system!

Requirements:

  • Light Weight
  • Portable
  • Silent
  • Digital Audio Workstation (DAW)
  • Powerful Enough for Gaming

Selecting the Components
I decided to start with silent and portable. For that, I’d need a fanless laptop with enough power to record and edit audio without getting bogged down. That narrowed the field quite a bit. Aside from Chromebooks and tablets, there were only a few machines that met my specs.

Dell XPS-13 2 in 1 Laptop
I chose the “Dell XPS 13 2 in 1” for the base system. Please note: only the 2 in 1 model is fanless and truly silent when running. Very important when I’m in the booth. It also has 2 USB-C Thunderbolt ports, which will come into play for the next parts of the “Impossible VO Machine”.

To handle the demands of a true gaming box, I’d need a higher power graphics card than any silent laptop could offer. For this, I researched External Graphics Processing Units (aka: eGPU). They’re basically a high-end graphics card with a power supply and fans in a separate box. Most also require a high-speed interface. This is where the Thunderbolt ports come into play.

Aorus GTX-1070 Gaming Box
I chose the “Gigabyte AORUS Gaming Box 1070” with an included Nvidia graphics card built in. It works best with machines where the Thunderbolt port runs directly to the main processor (as opposed to thru the chooser). The laptop I picked is just such a machine.

With all the essential components in place, I still needed some additional ones to round out the system.

Plugable USB-C Docking Station
The “Plugable USB-C Triple Display Docking Station” works through the Thunderbolt port to provide power and adds usb ports and external monitor interfaces for daily use.

I already had an external HDMI display, USB hub, wireless mouse and keyboard.

Add to that the audio components (Focusrite Scarlet 2i2 interface, microphone, monitors) and the total package was complete.

Using The Impossible VO Machine
For my daily use as a DAW, I’ve got the USB hub connected to the USB-C port, with connections to the mouse/keyboard, Focusrite, etc. The USB-C Thunderbolt port is connected to the Plugable docking stations, which provides power and access to the external monitor. When recording, I use Sony Sound Forge and Sony Music Studio. Video editing is done with Sony Movie Studio. The system runs like a champ. Silent and powerful.

When I want to do some gaming, I disconnect the Plugable docking station, and plug the Aorus Gaming Box into the Thunderbolt port. It also provides power to the system and connects to the larger external monitor for gaming. The fans are not bad, although too loud for recording. But the eGPU has more than enough power to run all the games I’ve tried so far without lagging behind. Truly awesome!

I’ve also used the eGPU when editing video and rendering animation. It really cuts down on the time needed by taking the load off of the laptop cpu for any graphics operations.

To switch back to DAW mode, I need to select “Disconnect GPU” from the tray app, then swap the Aorus out and plug the Plugable dock back in. Very easy to do.

Issues
No system, especially one with this number of components, is without problems. Early on, the Dell Laptop had 2 issues that I’ve found work-arounds for. The first has to do with using Hibernation mode. Dell was initially not happy with it, and would periodically shut down without notice when in Hibernation. I managed to find a fix for that online that involves clearing out the old Hibernation data.

The second issue was more problematic for recording. The laptop internal speakers would sometimes make burbling noises even when nothing was playing. I suspect this has to do with a driver or design issue. Since first purchasing the system, there have been several driver updates. This seems to have corrected the problem. Should it re-occur, I did find a work-around: just disable the internal speakers. (I wasn’t using them anyway – just my monitors and headphones).

Conclusion
So… “The Impossible VO Machine” proved to be quite possible. There are some compromises, but that is always the case. The pricing for all the components is also higher than a normal DAW. Overall, I’m very happy with the end result. It allows me to record, travel, and game… all on one system.

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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