7-Up (Parody of “Use Me Up” by Bill Withers)

Posted on March 22, 2024 by Joe's Dump

7-Up (Parody of “Use Me Up” by Bill Withers)

A song about disappointing drink choices.

Buy it on The FuMP!!! (clicky! clicky!)

7-Up by Joe J Thomas

Lyrics and Singing by Joe J Thomas

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
7-Up
(parody of “Use Me Up” by Bill Withers)
Written and Sung by Joe J Thomas of Joe’s Dump
Lyrics:
…
My friends; Give me some Rum at a party
I keep tryin’ to tell them; I need Coke-a-Cola to get things started.
Ah-huh, and they answer; That they ain’t got that kinda stuff.
I, I, I, I, would like to use; some mixer in my booze
They keep on giving me… A little 7-Up. They gimmie 7-Up.
…
My brother; Sit me right down with a bottle of Gin
Ah-huh He told me; If I let it go to waste it’s a sin
And I’m sure he meant well; Yeah, but momma don’t raise no fool
I, I, I said brother you look confused; I need some Tonic to infuse
But he offered this excuse; A can of 7-Up. He gimmie 7-Up
…
Ah-huh, sometimes; I may imbibe a little too much alcohol
Y’all take me clubbin’ late at night; And my tummy is a butterfly free-for-all
Ah-huh, but oh, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe; Ginger Ale would soothe my stuff
I, I, I will not be amused; When I open the fridge to choose
What I see gives me the blues; It’s full of 7-Up. Just gimmie 7-Up
…
Talkin’ bout drinks that I won’t use; RC Cola and Mr. Pib too
Don’t you give me none of that stuff and I sure don’t want no 7-Up.
Don’t give me 7-Up. Don’t want no 7-Up.
– (fin)

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

At Starbucks (StarChucks)

Posted on February 28, 2024 by Joe's Dump

At Starbucks (StarChucks)

(parody of “On Broadway” by George Benson)

In the mood for some Coffee? Why not try Starbucks, er… StarChucks?

Buy it on The FuMP!!! (clicky! clicky!)

At Starbucks (parody of On Broadway) by Joe J Thomas

At Starbucks (StarChucks)
(parody of “On Broadway” by George Benson)
Copyright 2023 Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
At Starbucks (StarChucks)
(parody of “On Broadway” by George Benson)
Written and Sung by Joe J Thomas of Joe’s Dump
Lyrics:
…
They sell you coffee in a cup at Starbucks
Or half-caf latte with some soy in there
But when it comes to pay the bill
You’re only there to fill their till
That money just evaporates in air
(oooooo)
Them drinks are gonna make you fat at Starbucks
With calories and lots of sugar too
It’s caffeinating through your mind
And subjugating all mankind
But nowhere else is left for you to choose
(ooooooo)
I finally understood the game at Starbucks
And started up a knockoff brand that’s deluxe
So now I own this coffee bar
It’s like a money cookie jar
And I won’t stop ‘til I’m the Tsar of Star-Chucks
– (fin)

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

Socks!

Posted on February 20, 2024 by Joe's Dump

Socks!

How about a peek at what’s over my feet and under my shoes?

SOCKS!!!

(dangerously exciting photos below 😉 )

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

Nothing Nice (parody of ?)

Posted on November 17, 2023 by Joe's Dump

Nothing Nice (parody of ?)

You know when you know a song but you don’t know the name of the song?
Well, I wrote a song about that song.
…
No, I’m not gonna tell you the name.
…

Buy it on The FuMP!!! (clicky! clicky!)

Nothing Nice (parody of ?) by Joe J Thomas

Nothing Nice
Parody of ?
Written and Sung by Joe J Thomas of Joe’s Dump
Copyright 2023 Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not A Quinn-Martin Production.

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
Nothing Nice
Parody of ?
Written and Sung by Joe J Thomas of Joe’s Dump
Lyrics:
…
What is that song I hear? Sounds so familiar now.
Maybe I’ll Google it. Ba-da-ba-ba-da-dow
Not the McDonald’s song. Give it a try with Bing.
Alexa help me find Ta-ta-ta-ta-pa-ping.
Nothing. All I get is nothing.
And someday I will find…
The stupid name of this song and finally be happier
…
Gonna go ask my friends. See if they recognize.
Oh yeah I know that one. Zeedle-za-zoodle-zise.
Still we can’t find the name. Shouldn’t it be a breeze.
They all just look at me. Duh-Duh-Duh-Deedle-Deeze.
Nothing. All I get is nothing.
This is such lunacy. Knowing the name would be nice.
…
(Incoherent Rambling Scat)
Nothing. All I get is nothing.
And someday I will find…
The stupid name of this song and finally be happier.
…
The song that’s been haunting me, now it is haunting you.
No need for thanks, it’s just Doodle-da-do-da-do.
It is so catchy I cannot stop singing it.
I’ll never know the name Shitty-shit-shitty-shit.
Nothing. All I get is nothing.
Now it’s in all of us. We think that it is so … nice.
This song is so nice. Oh, it’s just so nice.
– (fin)

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

I Got It From Agnes (Tom Lehrer cover song)

Posted on September 15, 2023 by Joe's Dump

I Got It From Agnes

(Tom Lehrer cover song)

Singing by Joe J Thomas

Tom Lehrer is one of my favorite comedy music artists. It’s a thrill to be able to cover one of his songs. Enjoy!

Buy it on The FuMP!!! (clicky! clicky!)

I Got It From Agnes (Tom Lehrer cover song) by Joe J Thomas

I Got It From Agnes (Tom Lehrer cover song)
Singing by Joe J Thomas
Copyright 2023, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, http://www.JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
I Got It From Agnes (Cover Song by Joe J Thomas
Original Song by Tom Lehrer
Lyrics:
—
I love my friends and they love me. We’re just as close as we can be
And just because we really care. Whatever we get, we share!
I got it from Agnes. She got it from Jim
We all agree it must have been Louise who gave it to him
Now, she got it from Harry, Who got it from Marie
And everybody knows that Marie… Got it from me!
Giles got it from Daphne. She got it from Joan
Who picked it up in County Cork A-kissin’ the Blarney Stone
Pierre gave it to Sheila, Who must have brought it there.
He got it from Francois and Jacques. A-ha! Lucky Pierre!
Max got it from Edith, Who gets it every spring
She got it from her Daddy, Who just gives her everything
She then gave it to Daniel, Whose spaniel has it now
Our dentist even got it, And we’re still wondering how
Ah, but I got it from Agnes. Or maybe it was Sue
Or Millie or Billie or Gillie or Willie. It doesn’t matter who
It might have been at the pub, Or at the club, or in the loo
And if you will be my friend, Then I might
Mind you, I said, “might”
Give it to you!

– (fin)

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

Decide! (Cat Song)

Posted on August 15, 2023 by Joe's Dump

Decide! (Cat Song)

(parody of “Rawhide!”)

Lyrics and Singing by Joe J Thomas

Thank you to all my Friends for Photos of their Furry Felines
(=^_^=)

Buy it on The FuMP!!! (clicky! clicky!)

Decide! (Cat Song) by Joe J Thomas

Decide! (Cat Song) – Parody of “Rawhide!”
Lyrics and Singing by Joe J Thomas
Copyright 2023, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, http://www.JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
Decide! (Cat Song) – Parody of “Rawhide!”
Lyrics and Singing by Joe J Thomas
—
Yowlin’, yowlin’, yowlin’, Hear them cats a howlin’. Can’t they quit that Meowin’, Inside!
Wave a stick that has a feather, and chase fur toys with leather, Thinkin’ they’re a tiny lion pride.
Them little kitty kisses, murder beans and hisses, look at ‘em shakin’ their backsides…
Let ‘em out, Let us in, Put ‘em in, Put us out, Let ‘em out, Let us in… Decide!
Put ‘em out, Put us in, Let ‘em in, Let us out, Put ‘em out… Why can’t you Decide?!?!?
…
Feedin’, feedin’, feedin’, while their paws are kneedin’. Caused a little bleedin’… My Thigh!
Them cats is always eatin’. Lickin’, runnin’, sleepin’. Don’t ask cuz I really don’t know why.
I’m a slave to their desires, it’s makin’ me real tired. The smell from the litter box is high!
Scoop it out!, Fill it up, Fill the bowl, Eat it up, Let ‘em out, Let us in… Decide!
Take a rest, Pet me now, Brush their fur, Wanna play, What the hell… Why won’t you Decide?!?!?
…
Blowin’, blowin’, blowin’. There’s a snowstorm snowin’, Ain’t no cats a goin’ Outside!
I hear them kitties comin’, through the house they’re runnin’, underneath the covers they will hide.
It’s warmer in my bedroom, they’ll be sleepin’ on my head soon, they treat me like a magic carpet ride.
Snuggle up!, Crazies now!, Settle down!, Run Around!, Wanna sleep!, Kneed the sheets… Decide!
On my feet!, Meowing sweet!, Take a rest!, Motor Purr!, I Love you… now just please Decide?!?!?

– (fin)

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

Dr Mom! (comedy song)

Posted on May 19, 2023 by Joe's Dump

Dr Mom!

(original comedy song)

Dr Mom!
It’s the 90’s sitcom you never knew you needed!
Dr Mom’s a genius surgeon… until she brings work home!

Buy it on The FuMP!!! (clicky! clicky!)

Dr Mom! by Joe J Thomas

Dr Mom!
(original comedy song)
Lyrics and singing by Joe J Thomas of Joe’s Dump
Copyright 2023, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, http://www.JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
Dr Mom!
(original comedy song)
Lyrics and singing by Joe J Thomas of Joe’s Dump
—
(intro music)

I get home from school and there’s a body on the kitchen table
Dr. Mom comes thru the door and tells me his condition’s stable

Mom’s a genius surgeon with a lot of dedication
But every time she brings work home I’m in need of medication

Down in our family basement is the convalescent ward
In the attic lives a psycho who’s got free room and board
Dr. Mom says it’s all just a temporary situation
But after all this stress I’m gonna need a permanent vacation

Sponge, Wipe, Clamp.
Home. Work. Champ.
It’s the liver and onions she made us for our dinner
But none of us is really sure if it’s cow or if it’s someone’s innards

(interlude)

Dr. Mom we gotta talk, there’s something that I wanna say
It’s sad you lost your job last year but there has to be a better way
You know we love you Dr. Mom with all our heart and soul
I think a new career next year might be a pretty awesome goal

(outro music)

“Dr. Mom is filmed in front of a live studio audience.”

– (fin)

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

Joe’s Dump: The Rebootening!

Posted on January 1, 2021 by Joe's Dump

Joe’s Dump: The Rebootening!

A long time ago, on a blog of random stuff…
Joe’s Dump!
Episode #!%&@
THE RISE OF A NEW REBOOTENING
It was the dawn of time, or at least 2012.
The Mayan Apocalypse had passed.
But a new blog of random posts
threatened to destroy the sanity
of those that read it.
Now, eight confusing years later,
That blog has faltered.
It has stumbled.
The keys to the car are missing.
And there’s something strange
in the road ahead…
Joe’s Dump!
The Rebootening!!!
(coming to an internet near you)

Joe’s Dump: The Rebootening!
Weekly Nonsense (almost) Guaranteed!
Songs, Poetry, Art, Comedy, Animation, Audio Drama, Business, Opinion, Religion, Politics…
AND LOTS MORE WORDS!!!
(almost) Guaranteed!
www.JoesDump.com

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

VO Business Posts! (New Menu)

Posted on July 8, 2019 by Joe's Dump

VO Business Posts! (New Menu)

All of the Business, Voice Acting, Studio, and Voice-Over advice onJoe’s Dump, in one place! See the top menu on the site for the new “VO Business” option!

Find out:

How to get into Voice Over
What equipment I use in the studio
Tricks in the Voice Acting world
Advice on running your VO Business
Funny Voice Acting stories
… And Much, Much More!!!

Over 80 posts to help you find your path in the amazing world of Voice Acting!!!

So, what are you waiting for? Just click the link below, or get there any time from the “VO Business” option on the top menu!

Joe’s Dump: VO Business Posts! (clicky clicky…)

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

Parody Song! Song

Posted on January 14, 2019 by Joe's Dump

Parody Song! Song

by Joe J Thomas of Joe’s Dump
(parody of The Beatles “Obladi Oblada”)

Finally… the Inception of Parody Songs 😉

Parody_Song-Song-JoesDump

(lyrics below)

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
Parody Song! Song
by Joe J Thomas of Joe’s Dump
(parody of The Beatles “Obladi Oblada”)

Thought of something funny, gonna write a song
Ain’t got time for music done by hand
Grab some karaoke, you’ll be going strong
And there’s no need for you to go and find a band
[chorus] P. A. R. – O. D. Y. – S. O. N. G! – Gotta love a parody song! (X2)
Workin’ on the lyrics in my studio
Crumpled papers piled upon the floor
Just where all the time went, baby I don’t know
But when I wake up you’re there knockin’ on my door
[chorus] P. A. R. – O. D. Y. – S. O. N. G! – Gotta love a parody song! (X2)
In a couple of hours I will write another verse
Get on the mic and record it all
Like it for better or worse (ha ha ha ha)
Hope to make some money in the marketplace
Singing something funny for the fans
Famous on Demento and that FuMPy place
And then I’ll take it on a tour across the land
[chorus] P. A. R. – O. D. Y. – S. O. N. G! – Gotta love a parody song! (X2)
In a couple of days I will post it up online
On Twitter, Facebook and Instagram
Drop it on Funny or Die (ha ha ha ha)
Getting lots of clicks out on my YouTube site
Check it out the stats keep rolling in
Reading all the comments then it’s nighty-night
And in the morning I’ll just do it all again
[chorus] P. A. R. – O. D. Y. – S. O. N. G! – Gotta love a parody song! (X2)
And if you want some fun, just come and sing along!

7-Up (Parody of “Use Me Up” by Bill Withers)

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

Like this:

At Starbucks (StarChucks)

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

Like this:

Socks!

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

Like this:

Nothing Nice (parody of ?)

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

Like this:

I Got It From Agnes

(Tom Lehrer cover song)

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

Like this:

Decide! (Cat Song)

(parody of “Rawhide!”)

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

Like this:

Dr Mom!

(original comedy song)

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

Like this:

Joe’s Dump: The Rebootening!

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

Like this:

VO Business Posts! (New Menu)

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

Like this:

Parody Song! Song

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

Like this: