Time Travel Poem

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Time Travel Poem

by Joe J Thomas, age 54 (currently)

I had just come back from the past
When a guy showed up and asked
“What the hell is it you think that you’re doing?”
He was all covered in dust
So I told him I was just
Checking what my ancestors were brewing.

“That’s dangerous!”, he said
“You might kill your grandpa dead!”
“Or change the way the future will unfold!”
I said “Who are you to say”
“How I do things yesterday”
“Or where or when that I should come and go!”

“I’m your grandson”, he said to me
“And I’m here to set you free”
“From a life that’s bound by time and space and crap!”
“If you’ll only listen now”
“Of the where and why and how”
“We can exit from this time travel trap!”

“You’re crazy!”, I began
And with that I turned and ran
There was a gun in my desk across the room
“Don’t do it!”, he was pleading
But my shot had left him bleeding
He collapsed and warned about impending doom

“I’m not only your grandson”
“But your grandpa too, my son”
“This time travel has gotten out of hand”
He came back to stop my error
From this loopy, timey, terror
Things just didn’t work out how he’d planned

As he slowly slipped away
My hands began to fade
I’d cursed us both forever to repeat
The time and space went back
As it all faded to black
I returned to wh…

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Joe Beatnik

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“The Purple Flower”

A Spoken-Word Poem

by Joe Beatnik
 
 

      The Purple Flower by Joe Beatnik

 
Bongos
 
~~~ The Purple Flower (spoken word poem by Joe Beatnik) ~~~
Continue reading

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Halloween Poetry: Unspoken Horror

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Unspoken Horror


(a Halloween poem by Joe J Thomas)

      Unspoken Horror: poem by Joe J Thomas

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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I Wanna Be A Moose

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I Wanna Be A Moose

poetry by Joe J Thomas

I wanna be a moose
And wander through the woods
I’d munch on marshy grasses
And do what mooses should
With my moose wife at my side
A couple kids in tow
We’d amble in the forest
Until the evening glow
The lure of lights would call us
To visit your backyard
To nibble at your gardens
Without the slightest regard
After a dip into the pool
Your kitchen is our aim
There’s leftovers in the fridge
And a dog that we can blame
In the morning you awake
To find us in your den
The families are asleep
All the mooses and the men
I see you standing on the stairs
And give a moosey “Hello!”
But you don’t speak our language
So out the door we go
Back to the woods with kids behind
Reluctantly we leave
But don’t despair; we will return
Some other summer’s eve

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Happy AllTheDays! (er, Holidays)

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Happy AllTheDays! (er, Holidays)

a short poem by Joe J Thomas
in honor of holidays in California, 2015

It’s one week after Halloween
No chill is in the air
With temperatures in the eighties
And skies sunny and fair
Although the tinseled trees displayed
At stores across the town
I just can’t feel the spirit
With two months counting down
Each year the holidays come sooner
I’m pretty sure we’ll see
December having fireworks
And May with Christmas trees
So here’s a plan that I’ll enact
I hope you’ll follow suit
All holidays are on my house
From the basement to the roof
St Nick is on the rooftop
Skeletons by the street
The Easter Bunny’s in the yard
With Dreidels by his feet
A Leprechaun is by the fountain
With American flags in his gold
The New Year’s baby crawls on the porch
And a turkey leg he holds
With all the other holidays
Displayed around my house
The grass will wither soon and die
That’s good news for the drought!

Happy AllTheDays

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Long Feet, Short Femurs

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Long Feet, Short Femurs

Shopping for socks. Why is it that whatever ones I buy always seem to grab my toes like some boa constrictor? Are my feet abnormally long or something? I mean, I know my second toe is longer than the big toe. That’s normal, right? Based on sock manufacturers, I have to conclude that everyone just has smaller feet than me. Or they’re fine with their feet being bound, unable to wiggle their toes.

Shopping for a sofa. Why is it that whatever sofa I sit on, the seat is always way too deep? It’s the perfect depth between being an actual couch, and a couch with an ottoman. I guess I could buy some throw pillows so my back can actually touch something when my feet are on the floor. Maybe that’s it! It’s a conspiracy between the couch makers union and the throw pillow makers union. (checks online for throw pillow makers union) Nope. I guess that’s not it. I guess I just have to conclude that everyone else has longer femurs than I do.

So, to all of the long-legged, short-footed people buying stuff out there… Congratulations! You’ve flooded the market with your merchandise and I can’t find anything!

Now then, on to more important matters.

Why are my sleeves always so long?!?!?!?

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Voice Over Limericks!

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Voice Over Limericks Logo

Fiverr Ten
A desperate guy named Ted
Wrote a Fiverr ad which read:
“For five bucks I’ll voice”
“Whatever’s your choice”
“And for ten you’ll get breakfast in bed!”

DAW, Doh!
Is your system a Mac or PC?
AIF, WAV, MP3?
When you’re starting VO
It’s important to know
What’s better? Protools or Adobe?

Re: Union
The union will give you a say
As a group we have more sway Continue reading

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Digital Legacy

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Digital Legacy

I am immortal.
Well, at least my data is.
Blog posts, emails, social media…
Videos, photos, and audio recordings.
Government and industry data.
Medical and financial records.
Radio and TV broadcast around the earth and into space.
How much will be left after I’ve gone?
And yet…
Before any of these technological marvels.
It was the memory of family and friends where one lingered.
That’s still true today.
I think I may prefer that to immortality.

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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