Joe’s Bassment: Stayin’ Alive

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Joe’s Bassment: Stayin’ Alive

Cover Versions of Popular Songs in the Key of Bass

As a Bass/Baritone singer, there’s a lot of songs I’d like to sing that are just too high in their original key. So… Welcome to Joe’s Bassment! Where I sing a popular song in a lower key.

This week’s song is “Stayin’ Alive” originally by The Bee Gees.

But instead of singing, I’ve used software (Sony Music Studio) to pitch shift the voices and the music.

Here’s a quick one-minute sample:

And here are the individual pitch-shifted tracks:

      Bee Gees - Stayin' Alive (normal)

      Bee Gees - Stayin' Alive (all-4)

      Bee Gees - Stayin' Alive (all-8)

      Bee Gees - Stayin' Alive (all-12)

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Joe’s Bassment: I Can’t Tell You Why

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Joe’s Bassment: I Can’t Tell You Why

Cover Versions of Popular Songs in the Key of Bass

As a Bass/Baritone singer, there’s a lot of songs I’d like to sing that are just too high in their original key. So… Welcome to Joe’s Bassment! Where I sing a popular song in a lower key.

This week’s song is “I Can’t Tell You Why” originally by The Eagles.

Enjoy!

      I Can't Tell You Why (Joe's Bassment: Joe J Thomas)

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Dotard Featherhead

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Fresh from the Dr. Demento show… My new song!

“Dotard Featherhead!”
(a song about a somewhat fictional president)

Dotard: a weak-minded old person
Featherhead: a foolish scatterbrain

(parody of John Denver’s “Grandma’s Feather Bed”)
by Joe J Thomas of Joe’s Dump

Copyright 2018, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump JoesDump.com
All rights reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin production.

~~~ Lyrics ~~~

When I was a tiny little lad my daddy said to me
Son you can set your mind to be anything you wanna be
A rodeo clown or a fireman
You could even be president
But the worst dang one in the U S of A
Was Dotard Featherhead!

He’s 6 feet high, 2 tons wide
Dim as a concrete brick
Married 3 times to mail-order brides
Got a tiny little thing for a dick
He lies and cheats and overeats
With a belly that’s way overfed
There’s Russians and hookers and family
He’s Dotard Featherhead

He only hires the bestest folks,
They spend ‘n waste ‘n collude
He talks about the nukes and the coal
Then he holds a rally or two
The White House has a revolving door,
When he tweets off comes your head
Pretty soon the only one left
Will be Dotard Featherhead

He’s 6 feet high, 2 tons wide
Dim as a concrete brick
Married 3 times to mail-order brides
Got a tiny little thing for a dick
He lies and cheats and overeats
With a belly that’s way overfed
There’s Russians and hookers and family
He’s Dotard Featherhead

(music)

Well he loves his base and he loves the Klan,
Putin and Kim Jong Un
He bankrupt casinos, steaks and schools
Got a golden toilet too, ew!
But if you ask the CIA, FBI or the feds
That noose is getting mighty tight
Around Dotard Featherhead

He’s 6 feet high, 2 tons wide
Dim as a concrete brick
Married 3 times to mail-order brides
Got a tiny little thing for a dick
He lies and cheats and overeats
With a belly that’s way overfed
There’s Russians and hookers and family
He’s Dotard Featherhead

There’s Russians and hookers and family
He’s Dotard Featherhead!

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Pay-2-Play Parody Song

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Pay-2-Play Parody Song


by Joe J Thomas

(parody of “If I Could Read Your Mind, Love” by Gordon Lightfoot)

… and if you like this one, you might also enjoy this:

Alone Again, In The Booth

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
I joined a pay-to-play site
‘Cuz I got my voice to sell
They send me lots of auditions
And I’m doin’ really well
Then I reach the part where the paycheck comes
A dollar ninety three
Are you frickin’ kiddin’ me?!?!?
This headset mic is really boss
It’ll take me twenty bucks to pay it off
~~~
If I could read your copy
For a product you’d like to sell
Be on a national commercial
The kind that pays my bills
Maybe I could be on a cartoon show
And be famous on TV
Or a hero in a game
The Simpsons or an Anime
Can’t you see I only need a break
~~~
My fans would think I’m a movie star
With a mansion on the beach
Or maybe even two
With lots of green, I’m on the scene with paparazzi crowding all round me
But for now I should be real
I never learned how to act on stage
And I’ve got to say that they just don’t get it
I don’t know where I went wrong
But my money’s gone and I just can’t get it back
~~~ (end) ~~~

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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The Path of the (Yodeling) Pickle

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The Path of the (Yodeling) Pickle

*** Updated June 4, 2018: The Pickle on The McPhee Podcast! ***

*** UPDATED 4/30/2018 STEPHEN FRY TWEET! (at the bottom) ***

Yodelling Pickle by Archie McPhee

      Joe's Yodel (Joe J Thomas)

How did learning to yodel lead to Weird Al, George Takei, The Today Show and Gorillaz?

It all began in 2006, with a contest by the Seattle novelty company Archie McPhee.

They were searching for a yodel.

I was a singer, but had never yodeled. So I consulted the internet and found YodelCourse.org

After some free lessons, I submitted my contest entry and forgot about it.

… until 100 rubber chickens showed up on my doorstep!
Archie McPhee - Deluxe Rubber Chicken

I’d won the contest, and the prize was 100 rubber chickens, plus my yodel in a toy.

Now, the first toy (Feb, 2007) was not the Yodeling Pickle, but instead was the “Remote Control Hopping Yodeling Lederhosen” (with a knockwurst remote, of course):
Remote Control, Hopping, Yodeling Lederhosen

Then in April of 2007 came the now famous “Yodeling Pickle”:
Yodelling Pickle by Archie McPhee

In December of 2008, the Today Show with Cathy Lee and Hoda reviewed the pickle:
Yodeling Pickle - Kathy Lee Gifford
Kathy Lee Gifford sang with it and said “Nothin’ beats the Singin’ Pickle!”

Sales of the Yodeling Pickle were great, and soon they came out with other yodeling products (more on those below).

On December 26, 2010, the Grammy winning band “Gorillaz” album “The Fall” featured the yodel on track 15: “Seattle Yodel”:
Gorillaz - The Fall - Front Cover

You can download the whole album for free at: Gorillaz – The Fall (at Archive.Org)

      Gorillaz - Seattle Yodel

 
On August 5, 2011, Archie McPhee released their own video of the track:

On March 26, 2013: Archie McPhee announced “International Yodeling Pickle Day“!!!

On May 22, 2013: George Takei posted his comedic review of the Yodeling Pickle on Amazon:

My latest Wednsday Weview. This item was NOT what I thought it was. At all. http://amzn.to/14Rz5aU

Posted by George Takei on Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Yodeling Pickle - George Takei + Weird Al Reviews

And on June 17, 2015: Weird Al Yankovic tweeted this (along with a review on Amazon)
“You can have my electronic yodeling pickle WHEN YOU PRY IT FROM MY COLD, DEAD FINGERS.”
Yodeling Pickle - Weird Al Yankovic

On June 2, 2017: Gizmodo posted an article on Gorillaz and the Seattle Yodel Track:

On July 16, 2017, George Takei included the Yodeling Pickle in a video review from Knowable:

Weird Products From Amazon

Because who couldn't use a yodeling pickle? via Knowable

Posted by George Takei on Sunday, July 16, 2017

And on April 30, 2018: Stephen Fry tweeted:
 
“I don’t know what a Yodelling Pickle is, all I know is that I want one. And in an instant absolute and foot-stamping Veruca Salt kind of way”
Yodeling Pickle - Stephen Fry Tweet 20180430

New! June 4, 2018: The Pickle on The McPhee Podcast!
Archie McPhee – PODCAST EP 6: THE YODELLING PICKLE AND THE GORILLA(Z)

Other Yodeling products from Archie McPhee:

Gerkin for a living,
Joe “Yodelling Pickle” Thomas

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Ode to Obi-Wan

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Ode to Obi-Wan

(from “Star Wars: A Forced Musical”)

aired on the Dr Demento Thanksgiving show Nov 18, 2017 (click for info)

Illustrations by K. Woo (On Instagram – click here!)
Lyrics and Voice by Joe J Thomas
Copyright 2017 Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump
www.JoesDump.com
Not a Quinn-Martin Production

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
Ode to Obi-Wan
(from “Star Wars: A Forced Musical”)
Written by: Joe J Thomas

Oh my father was full of midichlorians they say
That’s why the force in me is so hot
I’d go out in my speeder shootin’ womp rats all day
But now tell me what have I got?

If you’re gonna be a Jedi
You wanna have a dead eye
With a saber or blaster gun
But you gotta have a master
When you’re headed for disaster
Oh the man that you want’s Obi-Wan

He’s a guy who knew your father
But don’t you go and bother
Asking what dear ole’ dad become
Cuz you might be relater
To someone named Darth Vader
No you can’t trust that old Obi-Wan

Obi-Wan! Obi-Wan!
Did you know that he trained Anakin?

If you’re the type of mister
Who’d go and kiss his sister
And fly round with a guy named Han
Get your butt to Dagobah
You gotta train with Yoda
See the ghost of your friend, meet your paw in the end
But it all began with Obi-Wan

If you sneak into the Death Star
And your Jedi skills are sub-par
All your friends will be suffer-un
You could lose a hand to daddy
See a sarlaac eat a baddy
Have a trash bin squeezin’ your buns

You may meet in a cantina
With a ugly dude who’s meaner
Than a Wookie with fleas by gum
Or hear ghosts in your X-Wing
Say your nav comp is a bad thing
Never watch movies three, two, or one

Obi-Wan! Obi-Wan!
Get the heck out my head Obi-Wan!

If you’re knocked out by a Wampa
Or stuffed into a Ton-ton
Win a race on the Kessel run
Defeat an evil empire
Then dance around a campfire
Carbonite, Saber Fight, Ewoks might die of fright
Heck you might even see Obi-Wan

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

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Man of Collusion – Parody Song

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“Man of Collusion” (parody of “Land of Confusion” by Genesis)

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
“Man of Collusion”
(parody of “Land of Confusion” by Genesis)
Lyrics and Vocals by Joe J Thomas
———-
He’s cooking up a thousand schemes
Inspiring a million memes
But I can read his midnight tweets
I’ll bet his phone overheats

Now did you watch Fox News today?
They say the danger’s gone away
But CNN’s still ringing in my ears
Showing all the president’s fears

There’s alternate facts
Too many lies
Constitutional crisis
And not much truth to go round
Can’t you see this is a man of collusion?

Putin helps Trump with winning
Top secrets are what he’s giving
The Whitehouse is all on trial
His voters in deep denial. Yeah.

Hey businessman where are you now?
Off golfing like some well fed cow
Or hiding in your golden tower
You’re losing control of your power

There isn’t a wall
No health plan or tax
There’s obstruction of justice
But there’s not much truth to go round
When can we convict these men of collusion?

Kushner and Flynn and Sessions
Have gotten the Russian’s blessings
With Manafort, Page and Stone
Protected with Trump by Michael Cohen

Trump teases Kim Jong Un
He acts like a New York goon
This tiny brained orange hair villain
Is toying around with killin’ us

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Brown Derby Jump (cover song)

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Brown Derby Jump

This week I’m posting a cover version of “Brown Derby Jump” by Cherry Poppin’ Daddies.

I like to keep my singing chops on par, so I try to challenge myself with new material. On this song, I found the timing of the words and music to be very interesting.

Hope you enjoy it!

      Brown Derby Jump (cover song by Joe J Thomas)

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Music Monday!

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Music Monday!

Here at Joe’s Dump, we’ve got a lot of music going on…

So, to help keep it all organized and handy, we’ve added a new Music Menu Item (at the top of every page)

A few of the articles you’ll find there include:

… Plus: Personal Profiles, Politics, Parodies, and plenty more!!!

Music Trivia Two-fer

This week, I’ve also got two trivia stories about some surprising back-stories to popular songs.

First up: You Don’t Bring Me Flowers (duet by Neil Diamond and Barbra Streisand)

Did you know that this famous duet came from a radio program director’s divorce?

Neil Diamond recorded the song first in 1977 as a solo, followed by Barbra Streisand’s solo version in 1978. This is where WAKY-AM/Louisville KY program director, Gary Guthrie, comes in. He spliced together a duet version as a parting present to his wife after their divorce. His version became so popular that the record label got Diamond and Streisand to record an official version that was released in the fall of 1978!

(Click here to read the full story on Wikipedia)

… and here’s Gary Guthrie’s mixed version on American Top 40:

And second: Mike Sammes – the backup singer for Olivia Newton John’s “Let Me Be There”

The bass part in “Let Me Be There” by Olivia Newton John is so prominent, I’d almost classify the song as a duet. Out of curiosity, I checked into who the bass singer was. His name was Mike Sammes, and his credits are amazing. He also sang backup on The Beatles “I Am The Walrus”, and for the TV show “Supercar”.

(Click here to read Mike Sammes full bio on Wikipedia)

… and here’s “Let Me Be There” for your listening pleasure:

Enjoy!
Joe

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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The Hell of Diets!

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The Hell of Diets!

“The Hell of Diets!”
by Joe J Thomas

(a parody of “The Sound of Silence” by Disturbed and Simon & Garfunkel)

Copyright 2016, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump
All Rights Reserved
Not a Quinn-Martin Production

The Hell of Diets! (title card)
~~~ Lyrics ~~~
“The Hell of Diets!”
by Joe J Thomas Continue reading

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