Ode to Obi-Wan

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Ode to Obi-Wan

(from “Star Wars: A Forced Musical”)

aired on the Dr Demento Thanksgiving show Nov 18, 2017 (click for info)

Illustrations by K. Woo
Lyrics and Voice by Joe J Thomas
Copyright 2017 Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump
www.JoesDump.com
Not a Quinn-Martin Production

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
Ode to Obi-Wan
(from “Star Wars: A Forced Musical”)
Written by: Joe J Thomas

Oh my father was full of midichlorians they say
That’s why the force in me is so hot
I’d go out in my speeder shootin’ womp rats all day
But now tell me what have I got?

If you’re gonna be a Jedi
You wanna have a dead eye
With a saber or blaster gun
But you gotta have a master
When you’re headed for disaster
Oh the man that you want’s Obi-Wan

He’s a guy who knew your father
But don’t you go and bother
Asking what dear ole’ dad become
Cuz you might be relater
To someone named Darth Vader
No you can’t trust that old Obi-Wan

Obi-Wan! Obi-Wan!
Did you know that he trained Anakin?

If you’re the type of mister
Who’d go and kiss his sister
And fly round with a guy named Han
Get your butt to Dagobah
You gotta train with Yoda
See the ghost of your friend, meet your paw in the end
But it all began with Obi-Wan

If you sneak into the Death Star
And your Jedi skills are sub-par
All your friends will be suffer-un
You could lose a hand to daddy
See a sarlaac eat a baddy
Have a trash bin squeezin’ your buns

You may meet in a cantina
With a ugly dude who’s meaner
Than a Wookie with fleas by gum
Or hear ghosts in your X-Wing
Say your nav comp is a bad thing
Never watch movies three, two, or one

Obi-Wan! Obi-Wan!
Get the heck out my head Obi-Wan!

If you’re knocked out by a Wampa
Or stuffed into a Ton-ton
Win a race on the Kessel run
Defeat an evil empire
Then dance around a campfire
Carbonite, Saber Fight, Ewoks might die of fright
Heck you might even see Obi-Wan

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

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Trump Feelings via Dr Otto

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My Feelings on Trump, as Expressed by Dr. Otto

Only the amazing Jim Varney as Dr. Otto can truly sum up my feelings about Donald Trump:

Treat yourself! Be sure to Buy or Rent “Dr. Otto and the Riddle of the Gloom Beam” on Amazon here!

Bonus!!! Watch my review of “Dr. Otto”, and “Captain Invincible” here:

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Joe Lamé Fitness

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Joe Lamé Fitness

After decades of intensive research, Joe’s Dump is proud to announce it’s very own line of FITNESS PRODUCTS!

  • Fitness Tracker
  • Health Shakes
  • Protein Bars
  • … and MUCH MUCH MORE!!!

Get the full story on Joe Lamé Fitness below!!!

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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VHP: Virtual Henderson Project

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VHP: Virtual Henderson Project

Henderson is a cheesy beefcake of a man. If you haven’t met him yet, he’s a loose-cannon cop with the intelligence of a small soap dish. I’ve been providing his voice for Pendant Productions for a little over 3 years now, and since Season 3 is coming on March 22, I thought something special was in order.

I always wondered what Henderson would look like in real life, and recently, I purchased some new software called “Poser” that can create realistic 3-D human models. Time for a test run!

Virtual Henderson Project: The Process:
The modeling software does have a learning curve to it. This may be less if you’re actually a graphics person or an animator, but for me it was about medium level of difficulty.

After creating the model, the next step is rendering. For still images, it’s not too bad. A few minutes for each one. The animation, however, took a looooonnnnggg time on my computer. Since I wasn’t going to buy a new computer just for this project, I decided to limit the animated portion to 5 seconds. That’s 150 frames (at 30 fps), and each frame took about 4 minutes, so, yeah, long time.

The rest of the video is still shots that I pan up, down, or sideways in the video editing software (I use Sony Vegas).

For the whole project, I’d guess I spent about 30-40 hours.

Bonus! Here’s the blooper reel from Henderson and Havner Season 2:

      HandHbloopers2

…and Links to Everything Else Mentioned:

Enjoy!
Joe

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Sizzle of EVIL!

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Sizzle of EVIL!

EVIL never sleeps! (though it does “rest its eyes” from time to time)

Pitching and show bible building continues… and in that vein:

Live! from E.V.I.L. (Evil Villain Island Lair) has a new Sizzle Reel below!

PLUS! You can watch the whole series and learn more about it here:
www.LiveFromEvil.com

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Carving Meat Loaf

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Carving Meat Loaf

In honor of Meat Loaf‘s upcoming birthday on Sept. 27th (Happy Birthday Mr. Loaf!!!)…

Today I’d like to dissect his song “Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad“.
Meat Loaf: Two Out of Three Ain't Bad
It’s a great rock ballad from 1977. Packed with deep emotions and hidden meaning, it strikes a chord in me every time I hear it.

But what if we look at it from a few different perspectives:

  • His viewpoint (he’s a romantic)
  • Her viewpoint (he’s a jerk)
  • Neutral viewpoint (psycho-logical)

Here’s how the song is seen in each of these cases:

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Voice Mime

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Voice Mime

Voice Mime

“If I’m paid to voice a job and it’s never used, does it make a sound?”

Well I’m here to answer “YES!”, and show you some Voice Mime gigs from my own personal forest.

The following are all jobs that I auditioned for, got cast, recorded, and got paid for – that have never been heard until now!

Celebrity Voices
These projects involve celebrity voice matching. Sometimes it is to replace a celebrity voice in a movie or trailer, other times they’re used as scratch tracks until the celebrity has time to record the final version.
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Legal Disclaimer Song

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Legal Disclaimer

a song parody by Joe J Thomas

(with apologies to Brad Paisley)

Legal Disclaimer Song
Audio:

      Legal_Disclaimer_Song_-_JoeActor

Video:

~~~~~~ Lyrics ~~~~~~
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