Linguistic Lamentations


Linguistic Lamentations

with your host:

Sir Reginald Smith-Smythe-Smithe

JoeActor: Phrenology Head



~~~~~~ Transcript: ~~~~~~

Good evening.
My name is Sir Reginald Smith-Smythe-Smithe, and I am associate assistant professor of linguistics at the Pacoima Community College.

This evening I shall be lecturing on the proper use of English words in situations where one wishes to be perceived as wealthy, intelligent, or well-traveled.

This may come as a shock to the uninitiated, but anyone can achieve a high-level of social standing simply by peppering one’s speech with any of the following words:
Askance, Whom, Bucolic, Aplomb, Visage, Elucidate, Adroit, Acumen, Jejune, Obviate, Hegemony, Ennui, Taciturn, Fecund, Anathema, Egregious, Pejorative, Dilettante, Sobriquet, Miasma, Mellifluous, Corpulent, Nuptials, Zeitgeist, Schadenfreude, Obfuscate, Palimpsest, and Paradigm

As an adjunct, one may appear hyper-competent in culinary settings by ordering your meal using a phrase such as:
“I shall have the Heirloom Multi-grain Chipotle Croissant with the Beurre Blanc Aioli Artisanal Foam, and a side of Natural Organic Handcrafted Quinoa smothered in Arugula and Creamery Butter Fennel.”

This concludes this evening’s lecture on how to be perceived as wealthy, intelligent or well-traveled. In an upcoming lecture, I’ll be discussing the use of colours that may or may not exist in nature, such as:
Mauve, Ecru, Taupe, Seafoam, Wenge and Eburnian


All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at:



2 thoughts on “Linguistic Lamentations

  1. Lol, I really enjoyed this, Joe, because as a word geek, I live to use words like hegemony while wearing my Wenge sweater and eating anything with artisanal foam. : )

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