Under Construction (parody of “Eve of Destruction”)

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Under Construction


(parody of “Eve of Destruction” by Barry McGuire)

Available for purchase on The FuMP! (clicky-clicky)

*** soon to be heard on Dr. Demento! ***

The true story of my latest move and remodel… still in progress!

Audio:

      UnderConstruction_JoesDump_JoeJThomas

Singing and lyrics by Joe J Thomas
Copyright 2021, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not A Quinn-Martin Production.

~~~ Lyrics: ~~~
Under Construction
(parody of “Eve of Destruction” by Barry McGuire)
Lyrics and Singing by Joe J Thomas

They took my couch and now they’re loading
Into a truck but they don’t know where they’re going
There goes my bed and the dining table
I’d give ’em directions but I don’t think I’m able
And now I got a headache from this twisted fairy tale
So I tell them over and over and over again, my friends
Just wait and see my place is under construction

My kitchen stove is stuck in Italy
Now there’s just a hole right where it should be
Not really much that I am seeking
Just gimme one toilet that works and isn’t leaking
Or a water heater capable of heating
So I tell them over and over and over again, my friends
Oh can’t you see my home is under construction

Garbage disposal blew out my power
Been leaking like a sieve for over an hour
Now shipping man where’s my delivery
I’m hoping the forth one is just like it should be
Since they broke number two and they lost number three
Looking for someone got a package for me
But I’m so damn pissed that I can hardly see
Don’t you tell me over and over and over again, my friends
I’m living right here in this house that’s under construction

Can’t see no end to this home renovating
Used all our money and a touch of innovating
Got a place to sleep and a heater that heating
The plumbing is fine and there’s still a little leaking
I can’t complain but it’s sympathy I’m seeking
Just want a place where no workers are there peeping
And a nice hot meal without going out for taking
And I tell you over and over and over again, my friends
I’m kinda tired living life that’s under construction
I wanna be done with everything that’s under construction
~~~

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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High Speed Thinkin’ (parody of “Hot Rod Lincoln”)

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High Speed Thinkin’


Parody of “Hot Rod Lincoln” by Commander Cody and His Lost Planet Airmen
Dedicated to the memory of George Frayne, aka Commander Cody (1944-2021)

Available for purchase on The FuMP! (clicky-clicky)

*** soon to be heard on Dr. Demento! ***

A song about a guy obsessed with energy drinks.

A comedy parody of a non-parody comedy… song.

Audio:

      HighSpeedThinkin_JoesDump

Video (with Closed Captions):

Singing and lyrics by Joe J Thomas
Copyright 2021, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not A Quinn-Martin Production.

~~~ Lyrics: ~~~
High Speed Thinkin’
Lyrics and Singing by Joe J Thomas
~~~
My doctor said “Son, I don’t know what you’re drinkin’,
But you gotta stop doin’ that high speed thinkin'”
(music)
Started in college just before an exam; My brain’s overheatin’ in a mental jam
That coffee was goin’ down real smooth; Got all them neurons startin’ to move
(sting)
Followed it up with a Jolt or two; Heart was racin’, blood was too
Answers were comin’ hard and fast; Not sure how long that buzz would last
(sting)
Had a Monster stuck to both my hands; Five-Hour Energy joined the band
Was writin’ so fast, that pen got tired; The page below just caught fire
(sting)
Well I put that test in the rear-view mirror; My life ahead was filled with terror
Only one cure would ease my core; I had to go get more, more, more
(music)
Got a job to make them energy drinks; A constant supply to help me think
The boss looked me right in the eye; Go out and make them customers buy
(sting)
So I drove around and stocked the stores; Walked the streets and banged on doors
But the chief told me to hit the road; Seems that I drank more than I sold
(sting)
I started a company in my garage; Mixed up some stuff with an entourage
We sold it north, we sold it south; Them folks wanted more in their mouth
(sting)
I named my stuff Nuclear Fuel; You drank too much you’d act the fool
Guzzled that stuff, kept me smokin’; My brain grew larger, that’s no jokin’
(sting)
The stuff I made gave me the jitters; Thoughts were random little skitters
Friends and family looked concerned; That’s one more lesson I didn’t learn
(music)
I felt myself expand in space; Mind and body not held in place
Shot straight out away from earth; I was the soul of my own rebirth
(sting)
Looking down from way on high; Planets and stars whizzing by
Up ahead I saw a light; Way in the distance clear and bright
(sting)
Inside that light, well I met god; He looked at me like I was odd
It only took a flick of his hand; To send me back down to the earthly land
(sting)
Well it landed me in a hospital ward; Without my juice I just got bored
My doctor said “Son, I don’t know what you’re drinkin’,
But you gotta stop doin’ that high speed thinkin'”
~~~

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Pink Lady [Eat A Lady] (parody of Tom Jones “She’s A Lady”)

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Pink Lady [Eat A Lady] (parody of Tom Jones “She’s A Lady”)

*** as heard on Dr. Demento! ***

A wholesome song about my favorite apple… or is it?

The reason the apple industry won’t hire Tom Jones.

A Triple Entendre Parody Song.

Audio:

      PinkLady_JoesDump

Video (with Closed Captions):

Singing and lyrics by Joe J Thomas
Copyright 2021, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not A Quinn-Martin Production.

~~~ Lyrics: ~~~
Pink Lady [Eat A Lady] (parody of Tom Jones “She’s A Lady”)
Singing and lyrics by Joe J Thomas

When I don’t know what I want, feeling hungry, feeling gaunt after dinner.
There is something in my place that I stick into my face that is a winner.
I eat a lady! Whoa whoa whoa, Eat a lady!
Talkin’ about a Pink Lady. And that lady tastes fine.
~~~
I might have her in a pie, lookin’ yummy when she’s fried with something saucy
She is crunchy and she’s sweet, such a high fiber treat, her skin is glossy
I eat a lady! Whoa whoa whoa, Eat a lady!
Talkin’ about a Pink Lady. And that lady tastes fine.
~~~
When I’m at the supermarket know I always choose her
Always treat her with respect cause I don’t wanna bruise her
Sometimes when we get back home I put her in a juicer
She’s so versatile she could fill a whole buffet. Hey, hey, hey!
When I pop her in my mouth then I know what she’s about. She’s so delicious.
She got vitamins A and C, Riboflavin helps me see. She’s so nutritious.
I eat a lady! Whoa whoa whoa, Eat a lady!
Talkin’ about a Pink Lady. And that lady tastes fine.
~~~
Yeah yeah yeah! Eat a Lady! Whoa whoa whoa! Eat a Lady!
Listen to me. I eat a Lady. And that lady tastes fine.
Yeah yeah yeah! Eat a Lady! Talkin’ about a Pink Lady.
Whoa whoa whoa! And that lady, oh that lady tastes fine…

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Sappy Songs List

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Sappy Songs List

Just a list of Sappy Songs… Feel free to comment and add your own 😉

  • I can’t smile without you
  • I can’t live if living is without you
  • I’ll never smile again
  • I’ll never fall in love again
  • I can’t go for that
  • I can’t stop loving you
  • I can’t tell you why
  • I can’t fight this feeling anymore
  • I can’t help myself

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Imagine – John Lennon (Joe’s Bassment)

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Imagine – John Lennon (Joe’s Bassment)

How low can Joe go?
Cover Versions of Popular Songs in the Key of Bass

Welcome back to Joe’s Bassment, Where I sing a popular song in a lower key…

This week, I’m covering “Imagine” by John Lennon

At first, I tried it a full octave lower, but that sounded a *tad* too low.

So the final version is 4 half steps lower instead. Enjoy!

      Imagine - John Lennon (Joe's Bassment: Joe J Thomas)

Music Backing Soundtrack: Ryohei Kanayama (http://www.goldmine1969.com)

~~~ Lyrics: ~~~
Imagine by John Lennon
– – – – – –
Imagine there’s no heaven
It’s easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people living for today
Imagine there’s no countries
It isn’t hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people living life in peace, you
You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope some day you’ll join us
And the world will be as one
Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people sharing all the world, you
You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope some day you’ll join us
And the world will be as one

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

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We Three Elvis! (Joe’s Bassment)

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We Three Elvis! (Joe’s Bassment)

How low can Joe go?
Cover Versions of Popular Songs in the Key of Bass

Normally on Joe’s Bassment, I sing a popular song in a lower key… But not this week!

I’ve got 3 Elvis ballads, including one for Christmas!

      Elvis: Blue Christmas (Joe's Bassment: Joe J Thomas)

      Elvis: Can't Help Falling In Love (Joe's Bassment: Joe J Thomas)

      Elvis: Teddy Bear (Joe's Bassment: Joe J Thomas)

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

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Joe’s Bassment: If I Didn’t Care (Nutcracker!)

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Joe’s Bassment: If I Didn’t Care (Nutcracker!)

How low can Joe go?
Cover Versions of Popular Songs in the Key of Bass

Normally on Joe’s Bassment, I sing a popular song in a lower key… But not this week!

I’m taking the “Joe’s Dump Nutcracker Challenge!” and doing this song in it’s original key… Including the highest note I’ve ever sung!

Dedicated to my lovely wife, here’s “If I Didn’t Care” by The Ink Spots and The Platters:

Enjoy!

      If I Didn't Care - JoeActor - ThanksGiving 2019

If I Didn’t Care (Joe’s Bassment: Joe J Thomas)

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
“If I Didn’t Care”
Cover version by: Joe J Thomas
Original by: The Ink Spots
If I didn’t care more than words can say
If I didn’t care would I feel this way?
If this isn’t love then why do I thrill?
And what makes my head go ’round and ’round
While my heart stands still?

If I didn’t care would it be the same?
Would my ev’ry prayer begin and end with just your name?
And would I be sure that this is love beyond compare?
Would all this be true if I didn’t care for you?

Optional… Monologue:
If I didn’t care honey child, mo’ than words can say. If I didn’t care baby, would I feel this way? Darlin’ if this isn’t love, then why do I thrill so much? What is it that makes my head go ’round and ’round while my heart just stands still so much?

If I didn’t care would it be the same?
Would my ev’ry prayer begin and end with just your name?
And would I be sure that this is love beyond compare?
Would all this be true if I didn’t care for you?

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

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Joe’s Bassment: You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch

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Joe’s Bassment: You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch

How low can Joe go?
Cover Versions of Popular Songs in the Key of Bass

As a Bass/Baritone singer, there’s a lot of songs I’d like to sing that are just too high in their original key. So… Welcome to Joe’s Bassment! Where I sing a popular song in a lower key.

This week’s song is “You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch” originally sung by Thurl Ravenscroft (also the voice of Tony the Tiger). It’s already plenty low enough, so I’m singing in the original key.

Enjoy!

You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch (JoeActor cover)

      You're A Mean One Mr Grinch (Joe's Bassment: Joe J Thomas)

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
“You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch”
Cover version by: Joe J Thomas
Original by: Thurl Ravenscroft
You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch. You really are a heel
You’re as cuddly as a cactus. You’re as charming as an eel, Mr. Grinch
You’re a bad banana with a greasy black peel
You’re a monster, Mr. Grinch. Your heart’s an empty hole
Your brain is full of spiders. You’ve got garlic in your soul, Mr Grinch
I wouldn’t touch you with a, Thirty-nine and a half foot pole
You’re a vile one, Mr. Grinch. You have termites in your smile
You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile, Mr Grinch
Given the choice between the two of you, I’d take the seasick crocodile
You’re a foul one, Mr. Grinch. You’re a nasty wasty skunk
Your heart is full of unwashed socks, Your soul is full of gunk, Mr Grinch
The three words that best describe you, Are as follows, and I quote
Stink, Stank, Stunk
You’re a rotter Mr Grinch. You’re the king of sinful sots
Your heart’s a dead tomato splotched with moldy purple spots, Mr Grinch
Your soul is an appalling dump heap, Overflowing with the most disgraceful
Assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable, Mangled up in tangled up knots
You nauseate me, Mr Grinch. With a nauseous super nos
You’re a crooked jerky jockey and. You drive a crooked hoss, Mr Grinch
You’re a three-decker sauerkraut, And toadstool sandwich, With arsenic sauce

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

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Joe’s Bassment: Joehemian Rhapsody

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Joe’s Bassment: Joehemian Rhapsody

Cover Versions of Popular Songs in the Key of Bass

As a Bass/Baritone singer, there’s a lot of songs I’d like to sing that are just too high in their original key. So… Welcome to Joe’s Bassment! Where I sing a popular song in a lower key.

This week’s song is “Bohemian Rhapsody” originally by Queen.

Enjoy!

      Joehemian Rhapsody (Joe's Bassment: Joe J Thomas)

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Fly Trump To The Moon! (parody song)

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Fly Trump To The Moon! (parody song)

*** Warning! F-Bomb! (but it’s a classy one) ***

by: Joe J Thomas

(parody of Sinatra’s “Fly Me To The Moon”)

Copyright 2019, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.

FREE! Wallpaper!!!
Trump in a Rocket Ride - Joe's Dump

      Fly Trump To The Moon (Joe J Thomas)

~~~ Lyrics: ~~~
Fly Trump To The Moon!
by: Joe J Thomas
www.JoesDump.com

(parody of Sinatra’s “Fly Me To The Moon”)

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
Fly Trump to the moon
Let him drift among the stars
Let him see if he can breathe
On a-Jupiter and Mars

In other words: Space Force One!
In other words: Donald, bite me!

Make us great again
You can resign, you crashing bore
Give me what I long for
Trump behind a prison door

In other words: Your time is due…
In other words: Trump, Fuck You!

– music break –

Mueller’s coming soon
Your family’s downfall is assured
Retribution’s on the way
For what we’ve all endured

In other words: Your time is due…
In other words…
In other words: Trump, Fuck … You!

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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