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Adramelech Advertisement

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Feel Different... With Adramelech!

 

If your daily routine has you feeling all too normal, perhaps it’s time.

Time for Adramelech.

Adramelech has been proven to reduce or increase a wide variety of unspecified conditions in individuals reporting such issues.


Don’t drink holy water or enter churches while using Adramelech.

Avoid contact with people who may have an opinion.

Seek immediate media attention if you experience a demonic possession lasting more than four hours.

Side effects of Adramelech may include:

  • Bleeding Walls
  • Aphasic Kinesthesia
  • Teleportation
  • The Smell of Burnt Almonds
  • Cognitive Impairment
  • Decapitation
  • Flaming Hell-Hole
  • Halitosis
  • Myasthenia Gravis
  • Abnormal Hair Growth
  • A Metallic Taste
  • Involuntary Levitation
  • Dirt, Blood, or Cheese Under One Fingernail
  • Loss of Limbs
  • Blurred Mouth
  • and Thoughts of Antelopes

Be sure to ask your witch doctor if Adramelech is right for you.

Feel Different… With Adramelech!

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

“Adramelech” word and photo credit: Habit Forming Films, LLC at: HabitFormingFilms.com. (from the audio drama Wormwood)

 

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6 thoughts on “Adramelech Advertisement

  1. I’ve been taking Adramelech for years. I have not been in touch with reality for many moons & have no idea if I could ever be. It’s great. I recommend it for everyone. Have a nice day …

    • We at Adramalech labs appreciate your support, and would like to send you a sample of Prorazmataz at a reduced price to get you hooked…

  2. I’m not even going to ask about the thoughts of antelopes, since I think about them fairly regularly, but . . . the smell of almonds? Unless that’s associated with a poison, it seems a bit on the warm and fuzzy side, like fantasies of muffins. Not that I’m being critical, you understand.

    • The makers of Adramelech sincerely thank you for your heartfelt comments. A free lifetime supply of our imaginary award winning product will be drop-shipped to your location. Don’t worry… we know where you are.

  3. my first written lanugage was hebrew.
    probably because my family was too lazy to teach me english, or they did not want me to read the news.
    Adramelech אדרה מלך , depending on how you spell it, could mean Herring is King, or disgraced king, or King Herring.

    at any rate, I appprove, and agree that is does not mix will with Holy Water

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