H. H. Family Restaurant Commercial
Good evening. I’m here to talk to you about some very serious issues facing mankind, and offer a fun, tasteful solution to all of them. Ever since the end of the global economy there have been many changes. Overpopulation, environmental concerns, the homeless, illegal immigrants, and of course the sick and elderly, just to name a few. Wouldn’t it be nice to have a way to help Mother Nature “cull the herd”? And why can’t that way benefit the rest of us?
Well, here at “Happy Hannibal’s Family Restaurant” we aim to do just that!
Stop in and try any of our sensibly priced entrees. There’s someone for everyone on our menus, and our dinners won’t cost you an arm and a leg.
What’s that you say? Money’s an issue? Well that’s no problem at “Happy Hannibal’s“. Come by and ask about our convenient recycle and trade-in plans. We’ll be happy to take those troublesome youngsters, bothersome elderly, or anyone who you don’t care for, off your hands. Why, in some cases, you may even be able to make a few dollars!
Now, I know what you’re thinking – “How does it taste?” Every entrée we serve is lovingly prepared by one of our re-trained inmates. I taste and approve each and every one, and I can tell you they are delicious! And don’t forget to try our side dishes – my favorite is the fava beans. And what meal would be complete without a nice Chianti.
But why take my word for it. Why not listen to what some of these satisfied customers have to say:
- “I was fed up with my neighbors, so I brought them in. Now I’m fed up with my neighbors.“
- “I really like it at Happy Hannibal’s – them’s good people!“
- “The service was excellent. They never give you the cold shoulder – unless that’s what you ordered.“
I personally guarantee you won’t want to leave the room until everyone’s eaten.
Now, we’re here to serve you, but we won’t stop there. 10% of every dollar spent goes to Dr. Kevorkian’s “Voluntary Human Extinction Fund“.
So come on in to “Happy Hannibal’s Family Restaurant” where you’re not only what you eat, you’re who you eat.
All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com
Shades of Jonathan Swift!
… the tough part is knowing who’s serving and who’s being served 😉