Colonel Sanders’ Gastric Bypass Band!


When the fast food industry can’t sell you food fast enough, they come up with a new and dastardly plan…

Colonel Sanders’ Gastric Bypass Band / Eat All The Chickens And Hens

Parody of The Beatles “Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band / With A Little Help From My Friends”




Written and Sung by Joe J Thomas
Music Backing Soundtrack: Ryohei Kanayama (
Copyright 2020 Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump,
All Rights Reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production

Colonel Sanders' Gastric Bypass Band

Runtime: 5:15


All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at:


~~~ Lyrics ~~~
Colonel Sanders Gastric Bypass Band! (eat all the chickens and hens)
— Extra Crispy Lyrics: —
+++ opening boardroom scene with Col Sanders:
(general boardroom chatter)
(door open/close)
(murmurs of “Col Sanders!”)
Col: Gentlemen! Our secret herbs and spices have done really well over the years, but I fear that we have run into a limiting factor. Seems we can only feed people so much before they are full. We need something new!
(harumph, harumph, harumph)
Col: I did not hear a harumph out of you!
Col: That’s better! So I have come up with a brand new product, and a new campaign to sell it to our hungry consumers… You! Minimum wage musicians! Play me in!
(musician: Yes sir!)
— the song! —
We got something new for you today
Just come in to Colonel Sanders’ place
You been eatin’ chicken wings and thighs
We can help you fit more inside
It’s gonna be a brand new you
That weight will all disappear
Colonel Sanders’ Gastric Bypass Band!
{music interlude}
Colonel Sanders’ Gastric Bypass Band!
We hope that you got lots of dough
Colonel Sanders’ Gastric Bypass Band!
You’ll wonder where your fat will go
Colonel Sanders’ Gastric
Colonel Sanders’ Gastric
Colonel Sanders’ Gastric Bypass Band!
Our food will always be here
For you to get your fill
The operation’s starting now
Just breathe in deep and count to ten, you’ll sleep just like a stone
Junk we sell you will make you grow
No nutrition inside you know
Selling sugar and fat’s our thing
The Colonel, Clown and the King
But now that we’re almost through
It’s all gonna disappear
With Colonel Sanders’ Gastric Bypass Band!
Sanders Here!
What would you think if we ran out of food
Would you get up and walk out the door
How ‘bout a breast or a thigh or a wing
We’ve got stuffing and gravy to pour

Oh, when you’re through you can go on a cleanse
Mm, see your doctor and make some amends
Mm, make believe as your waistline extends

You can buy buckets of our takeaway.
Then eat it all down to the bone.
Getting more biscuits and cornbread’s okay.
If it costs more we’ll give you a loan

Oh, all those chickens are raised up in pens
Mm, but it’s always the same in the ends
Mm, we just fry them by fives and by tens

Will we feed anybody?
You just need money for grub
Should this go in your body?
We sell food packed into tubs

You won’t believe that you ate every bite
The Extra Crispy really tastes so fine
We’re here to make sure that you’re comfy tonight
So all of our new chairs recline
Oh, gonna sell you whatever we can
Mm, gotta get you to buy and to spend
Oh, gonna fry up some odds and some ends

Will we feed anybody?
You just need money for grub
Should this go in your body?
We sell food packed into tubs

Oh, in the end it’s all chickens and hens
Mm, gonna fry up some chickens and hens
Oh, gotta sell you some chickens and hens
Yea, gonna eat all the chickens and hens
All the chickens and hens!


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