You’re Not A Bat (a Batman parody)

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You’re Not A Bat

(parody of “Year of the Cat” by Al Stewart)

Poor Batman… he needs a 6+ minute Noir style tribute song.
(well, that’s what I think anyway)

For the impatient, the words kick in at about the 1 minute mark 😉

Dedicated to the memory of Adam West, the one true Batman.

Buy it on The FuMP!!! (clicky! clicky!)

      You're Not A Bat by Joe J Thomas

Lyrics and Singing by Joe J Thomas of Joe’s Dump

Copyright 2024, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
You’re Not A Bat
(parody of Al Stewart’s “Year of the Cat”)
Lyrics and Singing: Joe J Thomas
~~~
In the morning you have tea with Alfred
In the evening you go combat crime
Cuz a millionaire whose life’s completely boring
Doesn’t have a good time
You drive out in the night as a fearsome sight
Like some maniac who’s gone insane
The villains may have their machinations
But you gotta play their game
Dressing up like a bat.

There’s riddlers with rhymes and questions
And you know that some harm occurs
But you battle thugs and goons with indiscretion
Playing on their deepest fears
You go climbing the walls when the signal calls
From a hidden cave without a clue
These nights, you think, I feel my suit is sweaty and it’s chafing too
Cuz you dressed like a bat

Well the world treats you so cruelly
But you don’t whine. And nobody can see
Your voice sounds gravelly but so cooly
What a faker. Just Bruce Wayne hiding inside
The suit of a bat

The morning comes you’re bruised and battered
But the battle still rages on
The commissioner is calling on the bat phone
And you feel like a pawn
But the batmobile has a broken wheel
So you’re sleeping in most of the day
Maybe someday you’re bound to leave it
But for now you’re gonna stay
Disguised as a bat
You’re not a bat.

– (fin)

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Bacon Bits! (parody of “Makin’ It” by David Naughton)

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Bacon Bits! (parody of “Makin’ It” by David Naughton)

At the intersection of Baco’s and Discos lies… Bacon Bits!

In the 70’s the world was awash with Disco and Bacon Bits!
Both were literally everywhere (I’m still finding Baco’s in my elephant bell bottom cuffs)

Buy it on The FuMP!!! (clicky! clicky!)

      Bacon Bits! by Joe J Thomas

Lyrics and Singing by Joe J Thomas of Joe’s Dump

Copyright 2024, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
Bacon Bits!
(parody of “Makin’ It” by David Naughton)
Lyrics and Singing by Joe J Thomas

Lyrics:

→ Bacon Bits!; Mmm-mmm-mmm; Bacon Bits!
My salad’s old. It ain’t no good.
I’ve got something new; Make it taste like it should.
It’s Bacon Bits! Make my tongue dance. They’re so legit.
Want more! Much more! I can’t quit! This salad’s drowned in Bacon Bits!
→ Mmm-mmm-mmm; Bacon Bits!
I’ve got mashed potatoes; They’re lookin’ at me.
But they’re not complete; And you know what they need.
Some Bacon Bits! Savory, salty, so unfit.
Gimmie! Too much! Of that shit! All I can taste are Bacon Bits!
→ Mmm-mmm-mmm; Bacon Bits! Bacon Bits!
Hey c’mon over here… it’s a new frontier, Bacon Bits in my beer!
You’ve got nowhere to run. Bacon Bits by the tonne.
They might call me insane. Bacon runs through my veins.
Atop Kilimanjaro. Underneath the Dead Sea.
My mind has expanded to a far out degree.
From Bacon Bits! I’ll put them on banana splits.
Oh god. That’s odd. Throw a fit. All that I need are Bacon Bits!
Mmm-mmm-mmm; Bacon Bits! Bacon Bits!
(musical break)
You can mock. You can jeer. I’ll be up to my ears. There’s nothing to fear.
From Bacon Bits. My kitchen’s full of those tidbits.
It’s all I eat. Take a hit. I buy them in bulk. My Bacon Bits.
Mmm-mmm-mmm; Bacon Bits! Bacon Bits!

– (fin)

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Seat 49! (parody of “Sweet Caroline” by Neil Diamond)

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Seat 49! (parody of “Sweet Caroline” by Neil Diamond)

Real life drama from my last transatlantic flight.

Buy it on The FuMP!!! (clicky! clicky!)

      Seat 49! by Joe J Thomas

Lyrics and Singing by Joe J Thomas

Copyright 2024, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
Seat 49! (parody of “Sweet Caroline” by Neil Diamond)
Written and Sung by Joe J Thomas of Joe’s Dump
Lyrics:

I’m on a flight. It’s gonna be twelve hours. Maybe I’ll take a nap or two.
Wearing a mask. Cuz there’s this guy behind me. Sounds like he’s got a real bad flu.
Cough. Hacking phlegm. What the hell! Sneeze on me. Sneeze on you.
Seat 49 (cough, cough, cough). I don’t think you understood!
Not doing fine! I would get off if I could. But then I
Look at my wife. She’s fast asleep beside me. She doesn’t know that something’s wrong.
No rest for me. Just gotta keep my cool now. That guy behind sounds like King Kong.
Cough. Hacking phlegm. What the hell! Sneeze on me. Sneeze on you.
Seat 49 (cough, cough, cough). How on earth are you so rude?
Not doing fine! You put me in a bad mood! Oh no no.
Seat 49 (cough, cough, cough). You’re in public and so crude!
Seat 49. I think my mind has come unglued!
Seat 49!

– (fin)

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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7-Up (Parody of “Use Me Up” by Bill Withers)

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7-Up (Parody of “Use Me Up” by Bill Withers)

A song about disappointing drink choices.

Buy it on The FuMP!!! (clicky! clicky!)
 

      7-Up by Joe J Thomas

 

Lyrics and Singing by Joe J Thomas

Copyright 2024, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
7-Up
(parody of “Use Me Up” by Bill Withers)
Written and Sung by Joe J Thomas of Joe’s Dump
Lyrics:

My friends; Give me some Rum at a party
I keep tryin’ to tell them; I need Coke-a-Cola to get things started.
Ah-huh, and they answer; That they ain’t got that kinda stuff.
I, I, I, I, would like to use; some mixer in my booze
They keep on giving me… A little 7-Up. They gimmie 7-Up.

My brother; Sit me right down with a bottle of Gin
Ah-huh He told me; If I let it go to waste it’s a sin
And I’m sure he meant well; Yeah, but momma don’t raise no fool
I, I, I said brother you look confused; I need some Tonic to infuse
But he offered this excuse; A can of 7-Up. He gimmie 7-Up

Ah-huh, sometimes; I may imbibe a little too much alcohol
Y’all take me clubbin’ late at night; And my tummy is a butterfly free-for-all
Ah-huh, but oh, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe; Ginger Ale would soothe my stuff
I, I, I will not be amused; When I open the fridge to choose
What I see gives me the blues; It’s full of 7-Up. Just gimmie 7-Up

Talkin’ bout drinks that I won’t use; RC Cola and Mr. Pib too
Don’t you give me none of that stuff and I sure don’t want no 7-Up.
Don’t give me 7-Up. Don’t want no 7-Up.
– (fin)

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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At Starbucks (StarChucks)

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At Starbucks (StarChucks)

(parody of “On Broadway” by George Benson)

In the mood for some Coffee? Why not try Starbucks, er… StarChucks?

Buy it on The FuMP!!! (clicky! clicky!)
 

      At Starbucks (parody of On Broadway) by Joe J Thomas

 

At Starbucks (StarChucks)
(parody of “On Broadway” by George Benson)
Copyright 2023 Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
At Starbucks (StarChucks)
(parody of “On Broadway” by George Benson)
Written and Sung by Joe J Thomas of Joe’s Dump
Lyrics:

They sell you coffee in a cup at Starbucks
Or half-caf latte with some soy in there
But when it comes to pay the bill
You’re only there to fill their till
That money just evaporates in air
(oooooo)
Them drinks are gonna make you fat at Starbucks
With calories and lots of sugar too
It’s caffeinating through your mind
And subjugating all mankind
But nowhere else is left for you to choose
(ooooooo)
I finally understood the game at Starbucks
And started up a knockoff brand that’s deluxe
So now I own this coffee bar
It’s like a money cookie jar
And I won’t stop ‘til I’m the Tsar of Star-Chucks
– (fin)

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Socks!

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Socks!

How about a peek at what’s over my feet and under my shoes?

SOCKS!!!

(dangerously exciting photos below 😉 )

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Voice Acting and AI (Google Bard)

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Voice Acting and AI (Google Bard)

Opinions on the future of Artificial Intelligence (AI) on Voice Acting have come from many different angles. The clients, the talent, agents, ad agencies, etc.

But we haven’t heard from AI itself.

So I tasked Google’s AI (Bard) to give three varying opinions on the topic…


Bard Task: Write a news article about the future impact of artificial intelligence on the voice acting industry.


~~~ A1: ~~~

The Future of Voices: Can AI Harmony Blend with Human Heart?

The velvety tones of Morgan Freeman narrating your audiobook might one day come courtesy not of the Hollywood legend himself, but of a sophisticated algorithm. Artificial intelligence (AI) is rapidly redefining the landscape of voice acting, prompting both excitement and trepidation in the industry. So, what does the future hold for human voice actors in the age of the digital voice?

**The Rise of the Vocal Synthesizers:**
AI-powered voice generators are already creating eerily realistic human-like voices. These synthetic performers can deliver scripts in multiple languages and accents, offering creators unprecedented flexibility and efficiency. For smaller projects or quick turnarounds, AI voices could become the go-to choice, potentially displacing human actors from certain sectors.

**The Human Advantage:**
However, AI voices lack the nuances of human emotion and the improvisational skills crucial for complex narrative storytelling. The subtle tremor in a hero’s voice as they face danger, the playful lilt of a child, the warmth of a comforting confidante – these are the hallmarks of a skilled human actor that AI currently struggles to replicate. This “heart” factor could become the differentiating factor, ensuring human actors remain irreplaceable for emotionally charged roles and high-budget productions.

**Shifting Roles, Not Replaced Jobs:**
Instead of a zero-sum game, AI could reshape the role of voice actors. AI tools could handle repetitive tasks like reading basic instructions or product descriptions, freeing up human actors for more creative and emotionally demanding roles. AI could also provide real-time feedback and coaching, assisting actors in refining their performances.

**A Symphony of Innovation:**
The most optimistic scenario envisions a future where AI and human actors collaborate seamlessly. Imagine an AI generating various vocal options for a character, then the actor choosing and adding their own unique inflections and emotional interpretation. This hybrid approach could unlock new creative possibilities, enriching the storytelling experience.
The future of voice acting is likely to be a blend of human and machine talent. While AI might handle certain tasks, it’s unlikely to fully replace the artistry and emotional depth of human performers. The key lies in finding a harmonious blend, where technology augments human talent, creating a richer and more diverse soundscape for our ears to enjoy.

As AI voices continue to evolve, the questions remain: Will audiences readily accept synthetic actors? Will the industry adapt to incorporate this new technology? Only time will tell, but one thing is certain – the future of voice acting promises to be a fascinating and unpredictable journey.


~~~ A2: ~~~

Will AI Steal the Show? The Future of Voice Acting in a Machine-Made World

The human voice, once a pinnacle of storytelling, is facing a new competitor: artificial intelligence. While some fear a robot takeover of the airwaves, others see a revolution in the making. So, will AI silence the voices of flesh-and-blood actors, or will it usher in a golden age of sonic storytelling?

**The Rise of the Voice Bots:**
AI-powered voice generators are already creating realistic, expressive voices for commercials, audiobooks, and even video games. These synthetic actors offer advantages: they’re cheaper, faster, and can work 24/7. For low-budget projects or repetitive tasks, they’re a tempting alternative.

**But Can a Machine Capture the Soul?**
Human voice actors bring more than just words to the table. They infuse their performances with emotion, nuance, and improvisation – qualities that remain elusive for even the most sophisticated AI. Consider the emotional depth of a veteran actor voicing an animated character, or the subtle humor in a commercial delivered with perfect timing. These are the hallmarks of human artistry that AI still struggles to replicate.

**The Future: Collaboration, Not Competition:**
The most likely scenario is not a robot uprising, but a fusion of human and machine. AI could handle the grunt work, freeing up actors to focus on the creative aspects. Imagine an AI generating different voice options for a character, then the actor choosing and refining the one that best embodies the role. This collaboration could lead to even more nuanced and expressive performances.

**Beyond the Studio:**
AI could also open new doors for voice actors. Imagine personalized audiobooks narrated by your favorite actor, or interactive games where you converse with AI-powered characters voiced by real actors. These possibilities expand the reach of voice acting and create new avenues for income.

The future of voice acting is not a binary choice between humans and machines. It’s about embracing the unique strengths of both, using AI to enhance human creativity and storytelling. While AI may change the landscape of the industry, it’s unlikely to silence the voices that have captivated audiences for centuries. The future of voice acting is not about who takes the stage, but about how we use technology to tell even more powerful stories.


~~~ A3: ~~~

The Future of Voices: AI’s Impact on the Voice Acting Industry

The world of voice acting is on the cusp of a dramatic shift, driven by the ever-evolving power of artificial intelligence (AI). While some see AI as a threat, poised to replace human actors entirely, others envision a future where AI and human talent synergistically shape the sound of our stories.

**The Rise of the Machines:**
One of the most immediate impacts of AI is the creation of incredibly realistic synthetic voices. These voices can mimic human voices with stunning accuracy, even capturing subtle nuances like emotion and inflection. This technology has the potential to revolutionize fields like e-learning, audiobooks, and even animation, where AI-powered characters could deliver believable performances.

**Human-AI Collaboration:**
However, experts believe that AI won’t replace human actors entirely. Instead, it is likely to become a powerful tool, assisting actors in their craft. AI could handle repetitive tasks like lip-syncing or generating multiple voice options, freeing up actors to focus on the creative aspects of performance. Additionally, AI-powered feedback systems could help actors refine their delivery and hone their skills.

**New Frontiers in Storytelling:**
The possibilities extend beyond mere imitation. AI could open up entirely new avenues for storytelling, allowing for the creation of voices that are impossible for humans to produce, like those of aliens or mythical creatures. This could lead to a surge in immersive experiences, blurring the lines between reality and fiction.

**Challenges and Opportunities:**
Despite the exciting possibilities, the rise of AI also presents challenges. Ethical concerns surround issues like ownership of voice data and the potential for job displacement. Additionally, ensuring that AI-generated voices are diverse and inclusive will be crucial.

However, the voice acting industry has a long history of adapting to new technologies. With careful planning and collaboration, AI can become a valuable asset, not a threat. By embracing this technology, the industry can create even more captivating stories and reach wider audiences than ever before.

**The future of voice acting is a symphony waiting to be composed, with both humans and AI contributing their unique instruments. It’s a future filled with possibilities, and the stage is set for a truly remarkable performance.**


So, my fellow humans… what do you think of the above answers? There’s a bit of promise and a bit of doom. Only time will tell…

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Nothing Nice (parody of ?)

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Nothing Nice (parody of ?)

You know when you know a song but you don’t know the name of the song?
Well, I wrote a song about that song.

No, I’m not gonna tell you the name.

Buy it on The FuMP!!! (clicky! clicky!)
 

      Nothing Nice (parody of ?) by Joe J Thomas

 

Nothing Nice
Parody of ?
Written and Sung by Joe J Thomas of Joe’s Dump
Copyright 2023 Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not A Quinn-Martin Production.

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
Nothing Nice
Parody of ?
Written and Sung by Joe J Thomas of Joe’s Dump
Lyrics:

What is that song I hear? Sounds so familiar now.
Maybe I’ll Google it. Ba-da-ba-ba-da-dow
Not the McDonald’s song. Give it a try with Bing.
Alexa help me find Ta-ta-ta-ta-pa-ping.
Nothing. All I get is nothing.
And someday I will find…
The stupid name of this song and finally be happier

Gonna go ask my friends. See if they recognize.
Oh yeah I know that one. Zeedle-za-zoodle-zise.
Still we can’t find the name. Shouldn’t it be a breeze.
They all just look at me. Duh-Duh-Duh-Deedle-Deeze.
Nothing. All I get is nothing.
This is such lunacy. Knowing the name would be nice.

(Incoherent Rambling Scat)
Nothing. All I get is nothing.
And someday I will find…
The stupid name of this song and finally be happier.

The song that’s been haunting me, now it is haunting you.
No need for thanks, it’s just Doodle-da-do-da-do.
It is so catchy I cannot stop singing it.
I’ll never know the name Shitty-shit-shitty-shit.
Nothing. All I get is nothing.
Now it’s in all of us. We think that it is so … nice.
This song is so nice. Oh, it’s just so nice.
– (fin)

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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I Got It From Agnes (Tom Lehrer cover song)

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I Got It From Agnes

(Tom Lehrer cover song)

Singing by Joe J Thomas

Tom Lehrer is one of my favorite comedy music artists. It’s a thrill to be able to cover one of his songs. Enjoy!

Buy it on The FuMP!!! (clicky! clicky!)
 

      I Got It From Agnes (Tom Lehrer cover song) by Joe J Thomas

 

I Got It From Agnes (Tom Lehrer cover song)
Singing by Joe J Thomas
Copyright 2023, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, http://www.JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
I Got It From Agnes (Cover Song by Joe J Thomas
Original Song by Tom Lehrer
Lyrics:

I love my friends and they love me. We’re just as close as we can be
And just because we really care. Whatever we get, we share!
I got it from Agnes. She got it from Jim
We all agree it must have been Louise who gave it to him
Now, she got it from Harry, Who got it from Marie
And everybody knows that Marie… Got it from me!
Giles got it from Daphne. She got it from Joan
Who picked it up in County Cork A-kissin’ the Blarney Stone
Pierre gave it to Sheila, Who must have brought it there.
He got it from Francois and Jacques. A-ha! Lucky Pierre!
Max got it from Edith, Who gets it every spring
She got it from her Daddy, Who just gives her everything
She then gave it to Daniel, Whose spaniel has it now
Our dentist even got it, And we’re still wondering how
Ah, but I got it from Agnes. Or maybe it was Sue
Or Millie or Billie or Gillie or Willie. It doesn’t matter who
It might have been at the pub, Or at the club, or in the loo
And if you will be my friend, Then I might
Mind you, I said, “might”
Give it to you!

– (fin)

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Decide! (Cat Song)

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Decide! (Cat Song)

(parody of “Rawhide!”)

Lyrics and Singing by Joe J Thomas

Thank you to all my Friends for Photos of their Furry Felines
(=^_^=)

Buy it on The FuMP!!! (clicky! clicky!)
 

      Decide! (Cat Song) by Joe J Thomas

 

Decide! (Cat Song) – Parody of “Rawhide!”
Lyrics and Singing by Joe J Thomas
Copyright 2023, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, http://www.JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
Decide! (Cat Song) – Parody of “Rawhide!”
Lyrics and Singing by Joe J Thomas

Yowlin’, yowlin’, yowlin’, Hear them cats a howlin’. Can’t they quit that Meowin’, Inside!
Wave a stick that has a feather, and chase fur toys with leather, Thinkin’ they’re a tiny lion pride.
Them little kitty kisses, murder beans and hisses, look at ‘em shakin’ their backsides…
Let ‘em out, Let us in, Put ‘em in, Put us out, Let ‘em out, Let us in… Decide!
Put ‘em out, Put us in, Let ‘em in, Let us out, Put ‘em out… Why can’t you Decide?!?!?

Feedin’, feedin’, feedin’, while their paws are kneedin’. Caused a little bleedin’… My Thigh!
Them cats is always eatin’. Lickin’, runnin’, sleepin’. Don’t ask cuz I really don’t know why.
I’m a slave to their desires, it’s makin’ me real tired. The smell from the litter box is high!
Scoop it out!, Fill it up, Fill the bowl, Eat it up, Let ‘em out, Let us in… Decide!
Take a rest, Pet me now, Brush their fur, Wanna play, What the hell… Why won’t you Decide?!?!?

Blowin’, blowin’, blowin’. There’s a snowstorm snowin’, Ain’t no cats a goin’ Outside!
I hear them kitties comin’, through the house they’re runnin’, underneath the covers they will hide.
It’s warmer in my bedroom, they’ll be sleepin’ on my head soon, they treat me like a magic carpet ride.
Snuggle up!, Crazies now!, Settle down!, Run Around!, Wanna sleep!, Kneed the sheets… Decide!
On my feet!, Meowing sweet!, Take a rest!, Motor Purr!, I Love you… now just please Decide?!?!?

– (fin)

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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