Have A Covid Lockdown Xmas! (parody song)

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Have A Covid Lockdown Xmas!

Parody of “Have A Holly Jolly Xmas” by Burl Ives

It’s Burl Ives as you’ve never heard him!
(because it’s not him…)

—>>> Click HERE To Purchase On The FuMP!<<<---

Audio Only:

      CovidLockdownXmas_JoesDump

Video at:

Written and sung by Joe J Thomas
Copyright 2020, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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I’m A Virus (parody song)

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I’m A Virus

Parody of “I’m On Fire” by Bruce Springsteen

What can I do with the creepiest song by Springsteen? Make it creepier, of course!

As heard on Dr. Demento!

—>>> Click HERE To Purchase On The FuMP!<<<---

Audio Only:

      ImAVirus_JoesDump

Video at:

Written and sung by Joe J Thomas
Copyright 2020, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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¡I’m Speaking Spanish!

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¡I’m Speaking Spanish!

I'm Speaking Spanish! (Joe's Dump Banner)
(parody of Billy Joel’s “I May Be Crazy”)

Nouns… Verbs… Conjugation!
Learning Spanish for 3+ years. Wrote a song. You will listen to pay for my lessons!

(and if you don’t speak Spanish, badly translated lyrics are in this video 😉 )

—>>> Click HERE To Purchase On The FuMP!<<<---

Audio Only:

      ImSpeakingSpanish_JoesDump

Written and Sung by Joe J Thomas of Joe’s Dump
www.JoesDump.com
Copyright 2020, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Joe’s Bassment: If I Didn’t Care (Nutcracker!)

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Joe’s Bassment: If I Didn’t Care (Nutcracker!)

How low can Joe go?
Cover Versions of Popular Songs in the Key of Bass

Normally on Joe’s Bassment, I sing a popular song in a lower key… But not this week!

I’m taking the “Joe’s Dump Nutcracker Challenge!” and doing this song in it’s original key… Including the highest note I’ve ever sung!

Dedicated to my lovely wife, here’s “If I Didn’t Care” by The Ink Spots and The Platters:

Enjoy!

      If I Didn't Care - JoeActor - ThanksGiving 2019

If I Didn’t Care (Joe’s Bassment: Joe J Thomas)

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
“If I Didn’t Care”
Cover version by: Joe J Thomas
Original by: The Ink Spots
If I didn’t care more than words can say
If I didn’t care would I feel this way?
If this isn’t love then why do I thrill?
And what makes my head go ’round and ’round
While my heart stands still?

If I didn’t care would it be the same?
Would my ev’ry prayer begin and end with just your name?
And would I be sure that this is love beyond compare?
Would all this be true if I didn’t care for you?

Optional… Monologue:
If I didn’t care honey child, mo’ than words can say. If I didn’t care baby, would I feel this way? Darlin’ if this isn’t love, then why do I thrill so much? What is it that makes my head go ’round and ’round while my heart just stands still so much?

If I didn’t care would it be the same?
Would my ev’ry prayer begin and end with just your name?
And would I be sure that this is love beyond compare?
Would all this be true if I didn’t care for you?

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

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We’re Shopping At The Mall

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We’re Shopping At The Mall

Parody of “The Winner Takes It All” by Abba and Carla Bruni

Are you a husband? Have you been dragged to the mall for “The Shopping”? If you’ve been there, this song’s for you…

Now airing on The Dr. Demento Show!

…and available for download and purchase at The FuMP!!!

      WereShoppingAtTheMall_JoesDump

Written and Sung by: Joe J Thomas
Copyright 2019, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All rights reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.
Run time: 3:11

~~~ Lyrics: ~~~
I don’t understand… What you want to buy here
Purses, clothes and shoes
Any way I lose
I’m carrying the bags… Anything for you, dear
Oh my aching back
I think it’s out of whack
We’re Shopping at the Mall
My wife just bought it all
It won’t fit in the car
I need to find a bar
Then we got some lunch… Something from the food court
I wanted Peiking Duck
But I was out of luck
The burger they served me… Wasn’t of the meat sort
It smelled of month-old grease
Could we just go home please?
And then she turned to me
As happy as can be
That’s when I knew for sure
That I must still endure
We’re Shopping at the Mall
My wife just bought it all
I’d better call the man
To bring a U-Haul van
Does she know I’m here? Why is she still shopping?
Maybe I should speak
My legs are getting weak
We’re never going home… There is just no stopping
Have I lost my mind?
Or just lost track of time?
My credit card’s aflame
I can’t recall my name
How long have we been here
It really seems like years
The room is spinning round
I tumble to the ground
The medics heard my call
We’re Shopping at the Mall
We’re Shopping at the Mall
mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm
We’re Shopping at the Mall
We’re Shopping at the Mall

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Joe’s Bassment: You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch

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Joe’s Bassment: You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch

How low can Joe go?
Cover Versions of Popular Songs in the Key of Bass

As a Bass/Baritone singer, there’s a lot of songs I’d like to sing that are just too high in their original key. So… Welcome to Joe’s Bassment! Where I sing a popular song in a lower key.

This week’s song is “You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch” originally sung by Thurl Ravenscroft (also the voice of Tony the Tiger). It’s already plenty low enough, so I’m singing in the original key.

Enjoy!

You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch (JoeActor cover)

      You're A Mean One Mr Grinch (Joe's Bassment: Joe J Thomas)

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
“You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch”
Cover version by: Joe J Thomas
Original by: Thurl Ravenscroft
You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch. You really are a heel
You’re as cuddly as a cactus. You’re as charming as an eel, Mr. Grinch
You’re a bad banana with a greasy black peel
You’re a monster, Mr. Grinch. Your heart’s an empty hole
Your brain is full of spiders. You’ve got garlic in your soul, Mr Grinch
I wouldn’t touch you with a, Thirty-nine and a half foot pole
You’re a vile one, Mr. Grinch. You have termites in your smile
You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile, Mr Grinch
Given the choice between the two of you, I’d take the seasick crocodile
You’re a foul one, Mr. Grinch. You’re a nasty wasty skunk
Your heart is full of unwashed socks, Your soul is full of gunk, Mr Grinch
The three words that best describe you, Are as follows, and I quote
Stink, Stank, Stunk
You’re a rotter Mr Grinch. You’re the king of sinful sots
Your heart’s a dead tomato splotched with moldy purple spots, Mr Grinch
Your soul is an appalling dump heap, Overflowing with the most disgraceful
Assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable, Mangled up in tangled up knots
You nauseate me, Mr Grinch. With a nauseous super nos
You’re a crooked jerky jockey and. You drive a crooked hoss, Mr Grinch
You’re a three-decker sauerkraut, And toadstool sandwich, With arsenic sauce

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

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But, Dr. ButtDoctor (parody song)

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But, Dr. ButtDoctor

by: Joe J Thomas

Parody Song about a Proctology Visit Gone Weird

*** Airing on Dr. Demento this week!!! ***

Written and Sung by Joe J Thomas
Featuring Karyn O’Bryant as Nurse Feratu at www.karynobryant.com
Music Parody Mash-Up of:
Matchmaker from Fiddler on the Roof and I Feel Pretty from West Side Story
Copyright 2019, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.

Available for purchase on The FuMP here:
But, Dr. ButtDoctor! (on The FuMP)

But, Dr. ButtDoctor (parody song)

      ButDrButtDoctor_JoesDump

Copyright 2019, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
But, Dr. ButtDoctor
Parody Song about a Proctology Visit Gone Weird
By Joe J Thomas of Joe’s Dump www.JoesDump.com
Featuring Karyn O’Bryant as Nurse Feratu at www.karynobryant.com
Music Parody Mash-Up of:
Matchmaker from Fiddler on the Roof and I Feel Pretty from West Side Story
~~~ intro (spoken):
Nurse: Mr. Thomas?
Joe: Yes?
Nurse: Dr. Buttdoctor will see you now.
Joe: Thank you, Nurse, uh?
Nurse: Feratu. Nurse Feratu.
Joe: Ah… ok.
Doc: Come in Mr. Thomas. Now what seems to be the problem…
Joe: Uh, Well…
~~~ parody (matchmaker)
But Dr. Buttdoctor stare at my crack
I’m dropping trow. Baby got back.
But Dr. Buttdoctor give me a sign
That everything will be fine
But Dr. Buttdoctor glove on your hand
How ‘bout a clue into your plan
Why I’m exposed here in such a cold room
With goosebumps on my full moon
~~~ parody (i feel pretty)
What’s that medieval tool lurking there
(What tool what where)
Where could that horrendous thing go
(I’m sure I don’t know)
Please don’t plug it in
It’d be a sin
Call my next of kin
What a horror show!
~~~ parody (matchmaker)
But Dr. Buttdoctor I changed my mind.
No need to look. Don’t waste your time.
If I just leave now right through the front door
And run down the corridor
But Dr. Buttdoctor this door is locked
I’ll pull up my pants so I’m not half-cocked
Once you unlock this I’ll be on my way
I’m sure things will be ok
~~~ parody (i feel pretty)
All those flashing lights on that console there!
(What console, where?)
Am I in a bad sci-fi show?
(Oh heavens no)
Are we up in space?
Don’t take off your face!
What the heck’s this place?
It’s a UFO!!!
~~~ parody (matchmaker)
Alien Buttdoctor why are you here?
Did you just want, a look at my rear?
Please drop me off at the planet called Earth
So, I’ll tell you what. Don’t think I’m a nut.
Turn this thing round. Back down to the ground.
But please keep away from my butt!
(Oy!)
~~~ ending: (UFO lift-off sound)

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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¿Dónde Estás, Yolanda? (cover song)

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¿Dónde Estás, Yolanda?

This week I’m posting a cover version of “¿Dónde Estás, Yolanda?” by Pink Martini.

I like to keep my singing chops on par, so I try to challenge myself with new material.

This is my very first song in Spanish!

Hope you enjoy it!

      ¿Dónde Estás Yolanda? (cover song by Joe J Thomas)

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Joe’s Bassment: Joehemian Rhapsody

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Joe’s Bassment: Joehemian Rhapsody

Cover Versions of Popular Songs in the Key of Bass

As a Bass/Baritone singer, there’s a lot of songs I’d like to sing that are just too high in their original key. So… Welcome to Joe’s Bassment! Where I sing a popular song in a lower key.

This week’s song is “Bohemian Rhapsody” originally by Queen.

Enjoy!

      Joehemian Rhapsody (Joe's Bassment: Joe J Thomas)

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Sixty Candles! (another Birthday Song)

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Sixty Candles

by: Joe J Thomas

(parody of Sixteen Candles by The Crests)

Birthday Cake Fire - Joe's Dump

      SixtyCandles_JoesDump

I’m writing a birthday song for every decade.
My last one was “Don’t Worry, You’re Fifty”.

Copyright 2019, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
Sixty Candles
by: Joe J Thomas
(parody of Sixteen Candles by The Crests)
Happy birthday. You look kind of shaky.
Oh, you are so old.
Sixty candles. What a frightening sight.
Because they’re setting your house alight (set your house alight)
Blow out the candles. Dial nine one one.
This birthday party is no longer fun. (it’s no longer fun)
You’re over sixty. (sixty)
And on the senior scene. (senior scene)
You’ve got pension. And dentures.
And membership in AARP.
(AARP, yeah)
Sixty candles set your house aglow.
Now ash is falling from the sky like snow. (from the sky like snow)

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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