Carving Meat Loaf


Carving Meat Loaf

In honor of Meat Loaf‘s upcoming birthday on Sept. 27th (Happy Birthday Mr. Loaf!!!)…

Today I’d like to dissect his song “Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad“.
Meat Loaf: Two Out of Three Ain't Bad
It’s a great rock ballad from 1977. Packed with deep emotions and hidden meaning, it strikes a chord in me every time I hear it.

But what if we look at it from a few different perspectives:

  • His viewpoint (he’s a romantic)
  • Her viewpoint (he’s a jerk)
  • Neutral viewpoint (psycho-logical)

Here’s how the song is seen in each of these cases:

“Two Out Of Three Ain’t Bad”

Lyrics His View Her View Psycho-Logical
Baby we can talk all night
But that ain’t getting us nowhere
I told you everything I possibly can
There’s nothing left inside of here
Can we just go to sleep? Seriously… Oh, we’re not done talking yet! Communication is key. I’m sure you’ve got something to say.
And maybe you can cry all night
But that’ll never change the way I feel
The snow is really piling up outside
I wish you wouldn’t make me leave here
Here come the tears… We’ve been over this before. You’re not changing me! Now can I stay? No! Tell me you love me, or out in the snow you go… bozo! That’s a good start. Try to tell each other how you really feel.
I poured it on and I poured it out
I tried to show you just how much I care
I’m tired of words and I’m too hoarse to shout
I care, ok? I’m just tired, and I gotta get up early… So, that’s it? You tried? Really? Now, then. He’s opening up to you… be open to hearing him.
But you’ve been cold to me so long
I’m crying icicles instead of tears
You could give me a bit more sugar, ya know… What?!?! Now it’s my fault. You did *not* go there! She’s right. Try to focus on your own thoughts and feelings. No blaming.
And all I can do is keep on telling you
I want you
I need you
But there ain’t no way
I’m ever gonna love you
Now don’t be sad
‘Cause two out of three ain’t bad
Now don’t be sad
‘Cause two out of three ain’t bad
(shrug) Jerk! Uh… ok.
You’ll never find your gold on a sandy beach
You’ll never drill for oil on a city street
I know you’re looking for a ruby
In a mountain of rocks
But there ain’t no Coupe de Ville hiding
At the bottom of a Cracker Jack box
I’m just not what you’re looking for… But it’s good for now, right? Are you calling me a moron? Who thinks a Coupe de Ville would fit in a Cracker Jack box?!?!? Dickweed! Let’s try to be a bit less, uh, abstract here…
I can’t lie
I can’t tell you that I’m something I’m not
No matter how I try
I’ll never be able to give you something
Something that I just haven’t got
I gotta be what I am, babe. Honestly. Liar… Jerk! I hear some truth here, but also a cry for help. Tell us where this is coming from…
There’s only one girl that I will ever love
And that was so many years ago
And though I know I’ll never get her out of my heart
She never loved me back, ooh I know
I remember how she left me on a stormy night
She kissed me and got out of our bed
And though I pleaded and I begged her
Not to walk out that door
She packed her bags and turned right away
It’s not my fault. I had a bad relationship and it screwed me up inside. I just need you… and want you… 2 outta 3? Great. Now you’re bringing up your ex and blaming this on her. We are so done! Aha! A past injury. I think we’re making real progress now!
And she kept on telling me
She kept on telling me
She kep on telling me
I want you
I need you
But there ain’t no way
I’m ever gonna love you
Now don’t be sad
‘Cause two out of three ain’t bad
Don’t be sad
‘Cause two out of three ain’t bad
C’mon… I made a breakthrough. See! Seriously… not this bull-hockey again… That’s good! Full circle closure! Real progress!
Baby we can talk all night
But that ain’t getting us nowhere
Why are you handing me my coat? You’re right. This is going nowhere. I’m afraid our time is up for this week…

… now that we’ve covered the song’s potential meanings, let’s enjoy it!


All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at:



2 thoughts on “Carving Meat Loaf

  1. Joe…Meatloaf again? I was hoping for tacos.

    Anyways….thank you for reminding me to download Bat Out Of Hell. The Meat is still one of the most b***s out best rock singers ever. But what’s a “dashboard”?

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