High Speed Thinkin’ (parody of “Hot Rod Lincoln”)

Share

High Speed Thinkin’


Parody of “Hot Rod Lincoln” by Commander Cody and His Lost Planet Airmen
Dedicated to the memory of George Frayne, aka Commander Cody (1944-2021)

Available for purchase on The FuMP! (clicky-clicky)

*** soon to be heard on Dr. Demento! ***

A song about a guy obsessed with energy drinks.

A comedy parody of a non-parody comedy… song.

Audio:

      HighSpeedThinkin_JoesDump

Video (with Closed Captions):

Singing and lyrics by Joe J Thomas
Copyright 2021, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not A Quinn-Martin Production.

~~~ Lyrics: ~~~
High Speed Thinkin’
Lyrics and Singing by Joe J Thomas
~~~
My doctor said “Son, I don’t know what you’re drinkin’,
But you gotta stop doin’ that high speed thinkin'”
(music)
Started in college just before an exam; My brain’s overheatin’ in a mental jam
That coffee was goin’ down real smooth; Got all them neurons startin’ to move
(sting)
Followed it up with a Jolt or two; Heart was racin’, blood was too
Answers were comin’ hard and fast; Not sure how long that buzz would last
(sting)
Had a Monster stuck to both my hands; Five-Hour Energy joined the band
Was writin’ so fast, that pen got tired; The page below just caught fire
(sting)
Well I put that test in the rear-view mirror; My life ahead was filled with terror
Only one cure would ease my core; I had to go get more, more, more
(music)
Got a job to make them energy drinks; A constant supply to help me think
The boss looked me right in the eye; Go out and make them customers buy
(sting)
So I drove around and stocked the stores; Walked the streets and banged on doors
But the chief told me to hit the road; Seems that I drank more than I sold
(sting)
I started a company in my garage; Mixed up some stuff with an entourage
We sold it north, we sold it south; Them folks wanted more in their mouth
(sting)
I named my stuff Nuclear Fuel; You drank too much you’d act the fool
Guzzled that stuff, kept me smokin’; My brain grew larger, that’s no jokin’
(sting)
The stuff I made gave me the jitters; Thoughts were random little skitters
Friends and family looked concerned; That’s one more lesson I didn’t learn
(music)
I felt myself expand in space; Mind and body not held in place
Shot straight out away from earth; I was the soul of my own rebirth
(sting)
Looking down from way on high; Planets and stars whizzing by
Up ahead I saw a light; Way in the distance clear and bright
(sting)
Inside that light, well I met god; He looked at me like I was odd
It only took a flick of his hand; To send me back down to the earthly land
(sting)
Well it landed me in a hospital ward; Without my juice I just got bored
My doctor said “Son, I don’t know what you’re drinkin’,
But you gotta stop doin’ that high speed thinkin'”
~~~

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

Share

Pink Lady [Eat A Lady] (parody of Tom Jones “She’s A Lady”)

Share

Pink Lady [Eat A Lady] (parody of Tom Jones “She’s A Lady”)

*** as heard on Dr. Demento! ***

A wholesome song about my favorite apple… or is it?

The reason the apple industry won’t hire Tom Jones.

A Triple Entendre Parody Song.

Audio:

      PinkLady_JoesDump

Video (with Closed Captions):

Singing and lyrics by Joe J Thomas
Copyright 2021, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not A Quinn-Martin Production.

~~~ Lyrics: ~~~
Pink Lady [Eat A Lady] (parody of Tom Jones “She’s A Lady”)
Singing and lyrics by Joe J Thomas

When I don’t know what I want, feeling hungry, feeling gaunt after dinner.
There is something in my place that I stick into my face that is a winner.
I eat a lady! Whoa whoa whoa, Eat a lady!
Talkin’ about a Pink Lady. And that lady tastes fine.
~~~
I might have her in a pie, lookin’ yummy when she’s fried with something saucy
She is crunchy and she’s sweet, such a high fiber treat, her skin is glossy
I eat a lady! Whoa whoa whoa, Eat a lady!
Talkin’ about a Pink Lady. And that lady tastes fine.
~~~
When I’m at the supermarket know I always choose her
Always treat her with respect cause I don’t wanna bruise her
Sometimes when we get back home I put her in a juicer
She’s so versatile she could fill a whole buffet. Hey, hey, hey!
When I pop her in my mouth then I know what she’s about. She’s so delicious.
She got vitamins A and C, Riboflavin helps me see. She’s so nutritious.
I eat a lady! Whoa whoa whoa, Eat a lady!
Talkin’ about a Pink Lady. And that lady tastes fine.
~~~
Yeah yeah yeah! Eat a Lady! Whoa whoa whoa! Eat a Lady!
Listen to me. I eat a Lady. And that lady tastes fine.
Yeah yeah yeah! Eat a Lady! Talkin’ about a Pink Lady.
Whoa whoa whoa! And that lady, oh that lady tastes fine…

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

Share

Doctor Who: Big Stompy Robots (part 2)

Share

Doctor Who: Big Stompy Robots (part 2)

Afternoon Tea Adventures presents a brand new Doctor Who audio drama in 2 parts.
Afternoon Tea Adventures: Big Stompy Robots

(if you missed part one, click here: Big Stompy Robots Part 1)

Listen to part two here:

More Afternoon Tea Adventures available on iTunes (click here)

Or on YouTube:
Afternoon Tea Adventures on YouTube

Doctor Who: Big Stompy Robots – A sci-fi romp.
Every week (or as broadcasting schedules permit) the fictional Xenos Coverage Crew from Star Newz reports the latest in the ongoing battles against an invading force of cruel lizard aggressors. Leading the charge in this low-budget sci-fi production are an amiably dim news anchor and a headstrong field reporter. Neither of them have a hair out of place…

…not even when real Big Stompy Robots come down from the skies, and Star Newz and their studio find themselves in need of desperate help from one of their biggest fans – The Doctor! As reality becomes stranger than fiction, the stakes get raised and soon a whole planet faces imminent destruction!

What shadowy secrets are locked away in a state-of-the-art production office?

What juicy role will star actress Connie London play in the ongoing adventures of The Doctor and Julia?

And at the end of the world, just what use are a tourist map and a smug canary?

Chapter Two: Plan D from Outer Space!
Last we left our heroes, the planet was under attack by a fleet of war-mongering lizards! As a giant robot sentry counts down the remaining hours until the end of the world, the Doctor, Julia, and Connie must devise a plan to save everyone, with a just little dash of cinematographic magic sprinkled in for fun.

CAST
The Doctor … K. Woo
Julia Shahid … Fazia Rizvi
Connie London … Valina Cutler
Brick Thrustjaw … Joe J. Thomas
Stroheimberg … Justin Fife
DAVE… Alan Gordon
Warlord Kruger … Kayla Gill
Newton … Lisa Michaud
Tech … Justin Fife
Extra …. Kyle Borcz
Agamidae Sentry … Vince Stadon

Written by K. Woo & Vince Stadon
Directed by Kyle Borcz
Music by Kevin MacLeod
Doctor Who logo by John Callaghan
Art by K. Woo
Many thanks to freesound.org

Afternoon Tea Adventures‘ Doctor Who series is a free, not-for-profit fan production and is in no way associated with the British Broadcasting Corporation. It was created as a celebration of the series, without intent to supersede or infringe on existing copyrights or intellectual property. Doctor Who, the TARDIS, and other registered sounds and concepts remain property of the BBC.

Share

Doctor Who: Big Stompy Robots (part 1)

Share

Doctor Who: Big Stompy Robots (part 1)

Afternoon Tea Adventures presents a brand new Doctor Who audio drama in 2 parts.
Afternoon Tea Adventures: Big Stompy Robots

Listen to part one here:

More Afternoon Tea Adventures available on iTunes (click here)

Or on YouTube:
Afternoon Tea Adventures on YouTube

Doctor Who: Big Stompy Robots – A sci-fi romp.
Every week (or as broadcasting schedules permit) the fictional Xenos Coverage Crew from Star Newz reports the latest in the ongoing battles against an invading force of cruel lizard aggressors. Leading the charge in this low-budget sci-fi production are an amiably dim news anchor and a headstrong field reporter. Neither of them have a hair out of place…

…not even when real Big Stompy Robots come down from the skies, and Star Newz and their studio find themselves in need of desperate help from one of their biggest fans – The Doctor! As reality becomes stranger than fiction, the stakes get raised and soon a whole planet faces imminent destruction!

What shadowy secrets are locked away in a state-of-the-art production office?

What juicy role will star actress Connie London play in the ongoing adventures of The Doctor and Julia?

And at the end of the world, just what use are a tourist map and a smug canary?

Chapter One: Call The Medic!
Lights! Camera! Action! The Doctor and Julia accidentally make a scene, as force-of-nature leading actress Connie London makes her big entrance, and all hell breaks loose…

CAST
The Doctor … K. Woo
Julia Shahid … Fazia Rizvi
Connie London … Valina Cutler
Brick Thrustjaw … Joe J. Thomas
Stroheimberg … Justin Fife
Peter/Marjorie … Lisa Michaud
Agamadae Warrior … Kayla Gill
Trainer …. Kyle Borcz

Written by K. Woo & Vince Stadon
Directed by Kyle Borcz
Music by Kevin MacLeod
Doctor Who logo by John Callaghan
Art by K. Woo
Many thanks to freesound.org

Afternoon Tea Adventures‘ Doctor Who series is a free, not-for-profit fan production and is in no way associated with the British Broadcasting Corporation. It was created as a celebration of the series, without intent to supersede or infringe on existing copyrights or intellectual property. Doctor Who, the TARDIS, and other registered sounds and concepts remain property of the BBC.

Share

Fly Trump To The Moon! (parody song)

Share

Fly Trump To The Moon! (parody song)

*** Warning! F-Bomb! (but it’s a classy one) ***

by: Joe J Thomas

(parody of Sinatra’s “Fly Me To The Moon”)

Copyright 2019, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.

FREE! Wallpaper!!!
Trump in a Rocket Ride - Joe's Dump

      Fly Trump To The Moon (Joe J Thomas)

~~~ Lyrics: ~~~
Fly Trump To The Moon!
by: Joe J Thomas
www.JoesDump.com

(parody of Sinatra’s “Fly Me To The Moon”)

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
Fly Trump to the moon
Let him drift among the stars
Let him see if he can breathe
On a-Jupiter and Mars

In other words: Space Force One!
In other words: Donald, bite me!

Make us great again
You can resign, you crashing bore
Give me what I long for
Trump behind a prison door

In other words: Your time is due…
In other words: Trump, Fuck You!

– music break –

Mueller’s coming soon
Your family’s downfall is assured
Retribution’s on the way
For what we’ve all endured

In other words: Your time is due…
In other words…
In other words: Trump, Fuck … You!

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

Share

Doctor Who: Widen Your Gaze (part 3)

Share

Doctor Who: Widen Your Gaze (part 3)

Afternoon Tea Adventures presents a brand new Doctor Who audio drama in 3 parts.

Chapter Three: Marching as to War
Welcott prepares to march his undead army to 1950’s England, to wage war against the Establishment. VTI Security Forces have been ordered to destroy The Space, and all the colonists living there. Julia Shahid is losing her mind. And the Doctor is finally opening her eyes to what’s going on.

Doctor Who - Widen Your Gaze - chapter 3

Listen to part two here:

Also available on iTunes (click here)

And on YouTube:

(did you miss part one or two? here they are 😉

Doctor Who: Widen Your Gaze (part 1)

Doctor Who: Widen Your Gaze (part 2)

Doctor Who: Widen Your Gaze – a science fiction ghost story.

“The mind is its own place, and in its self
Can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven.”
–John Milton, Paradise Lost.

Palestine 1975: The Doctor’s companion, under surveillance by CIA agents, writes a letter to her younger sister in New York City.

England, 1955: a grieving father obsessively searches for the ghost of his dead son.

Hyperspace, the 22nd Century: Something is threatening a community in thrall to an ancient alien technology, shrouded in myth and legend.

As all three events collide, the Doctor finds herself in a bloodied life-or-death race to piece together an inter-dimensional mystery that threatens to tear open the divide between sanity and madness and the living and the dead.

In a spectral, hostile darkness, sometimes the best thing you can do to survive is to widen your gaze.

Chapter Three: Marching as to War
Welcott prepares to march his undead army to 1950’s England, to wage war against the Establishment. VTI Security Forces have been ordered to destroy The Space, and all the colonists living there. Julia Shahid is losing her mind. And the Doctor is finally opening her eyes to what’s going on.

CAST
The Doctor … K. Woo
Julia Shahid … Valina Cutler
Welcott … Joe J. Thomas
Fair Hair/Soul … Justin Fife
Lupez … Lisa Michaud
Selina … Fazia Rizvi
Cruz … Al Gordon

Written by Vince Stadon
Doctor Who logo by John Callaghan
Art by Valina Cutler
Many thanks to freesound.org

Afternoon Tea Adventures‘ Doctor Who series is a free, not-for-profit fan production and is in no way associated with the British Broadcasting Corporation. It was created as a celebration of the series, without intent to supersede or infringe on existing copyrights or intellectual property. Doctor Who, the TARDIS, and other registered sounds and concepts remain property of the BBC.

Share

Hookah Burger!!!

Share

Hookah Burger!!!

Ok, so where did this bit of madness come from?

There’s a tiny stand-alone restaurant in our neighborhood. It used to be some kind of “Wrap” place, then it was empty for years.

Finally, a minor burger chain bought it! Hurray! And with a college nearby, it should be a huge success, right?

Nope. New seats. Outdoor TVs. Cheap plastic barrier and fence with plastic plants. New heaters.

Nothing.

So… The owners set it up as a Hookah place instead!

Sure. That’s a natural transition.

… and … it’s dormant again.

But I can still wish for “Hookah Burger!!!”

BTW, there’s a real “Hookah Burger” restaurant in Russia.
You can visit them here (WARNING! Slightly NSFW!): Hookah Burger Russia

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

Share

Doctor Who: Widen Your Gaze (part 2)

Share

Doctor Who: Widen Your Gaze (part 2)

Afternoon Tea Adventures presents a brand new Doctor Who audio drama in 3 parts.

Chapter Two: The White Light Divine
As the Doctor sets a very dangerous trap, Julia finds herself in a strange empty place where madmen tell their stories, and there’s a ghost in the machine.
Doctor Who - Widen Your Gaze - chapter 2

Listen to part two here:

Also available on iTunes (click here)

And on YouTube:

(did you miss part one? here’s a link to it 😉

Doctor Who: Widen Your Gaze (part 1)

Doctor Who: Widen Your Gaze – a science fiction ghost story.

“The mind is its own place, and in its self
Can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven.”
–John Milton, Paradise Lost.

Palestine 1975: The Doctor’s companion, under surveillance by CIA agents, writes a letter to her younger sister in New York City.

England, 1955: a grieving father obsessively searches for the ghost of his dead son.

Hyperspace, the 22nd Century: Something is threatening a community in thrall to an ancient alien technology, shrouded in myth and legend.

As all three events collide, the Doctor finds herself in a bloodied life-or-death race to piece together an inter-dimensional mystery that threatens to tear open the divide between sanity and madness and the living and the dead.

In a spectral, hostile darkness, sometimes the best thing you can do to survive is to widen your gaze.

Chapter Two: The White Light Divine
As the Doctor sets a very dangerous trap, Julia finds herself in a strange empty place where madmen tell their stories, and there’s a ghost in the machine.

CAST
The Doctor … K. Woo
Julia Shahid … Valina Cutler
Welcott … Joe J. Thomas
Fair Hair … Justin Fife
Cruz … Al Gordon
Lupez … Lisa Michaud
VTI Computer … Stan Endvico
Lawyer … Glen Bartram

Written by Vince Stadon
Doctor Who logo by John Callaghan
Art by Valina Cutler
Many thanks to freesound.org

Afternoon Tea Adventures‘ Doctor Who series is a free, not-for-profit fan production and is in no way associated with the British Broadcasting Corporation. It was created as a celebration of the series, without intent to supersede or infringe on existing copyrights or intellectual property. Doctor Who, the TARDIS, and other registered sounds and concepts remain property of the BBC.

Share

Doctor Who: Widen Your Gaze (part 1)

Share

Doctor Who: Widen Your Gaze (part 1)

Afternoon Tea Adventures presents a brand new Doctor Who audio drama in 3 parts.
Doctor Who - Widen Your Gaze - chapter 1

Listen to part one here:

Also available on iTunes (click here)

And on YouTube:

Doctor Who: Widen Your Gaze – a science fiction ghost story.

“The mind is its own place, and in its self
Can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven.”
–John Milton, Paradise Lost.

Palestine 1975: The Doctor’s companion, under surveillance by CIA agents, writes a letter to her younger sister in New York City.

England, 1955: a grieving father obsessively searches for the ghost of his dead son.

Hyperspace, the 22nd Century: Something is threatening a community in thrall to an ancient alien technology, shrouded in myth and legend.

As all three events collide, the Doctor finds herself in a bloodied life-or-death race to piece together an inter-dimensional mystery that threatens to tear open the divide between sanity and madness and the living and the dead.

In a spectral, hostile darkness, sometimes the best thing you can do to survive is to widen your gaze.

Chapter One: The Ghost Train
The Doctor and Julia are being followed by something inexplicable and inhuman, and in a deserted station along a lonely coastal railway line a ghost train is waiting for them.

CAST
The Doctor … K. Woo
Julia Shahid … Valina Cutler
Welcott … Joe J. Thomas
Fair Hair … Justin Fife

Written by Vince Stadon
Doctor Who logo by John Callaghan
Art by Valina Cutler
Many thanks to freesound.org

Afternoon Tea Adventures‘ Doctor Who series is a free, not-for-profit fan production and is in no way associated with the British Broadcasting Corporation. It was created as a celebration of the series, without intent to supersede or infringe on existing copyrights or intellectual property. Doctor Who, the TARDIS, and other registered sounds and concepts remain property of the BBC.

Share