Pink Lady [Eat A Lady] (parody of Tom Jones “She’s A Lady”)

Share

Pink Lady [Eat A Lady] (parody of Tom Jones “She’s A Lady”)

*** as heard on Dr. Demento! ***

A wholesome song about my favorite apple… or is it?

The reason the apple industry won’t hire Tom Jones.

A Triple Entendre Parody Song.

Audio:

      PinkLady_JoesDump

Video (with Closed Captions):

Singing and lyrics by Joe J Thomas
Copyright 2021, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not A Quinn-Martin Production.

~~~ Lyrics: ~~~
Pink Lady [Eat A Lady] (parody of Tom Jones “She’s A Lady”)
Singing and lyrics by Joe J Thomas

When I don’t know what I want, feeling hungry, feeling gaunt after dinner.
There is something in my place that I stick into my face that is a winner.
I eat a lady! Whoa whoa whoa, Eat a lady!
Talkin’ about a Pink Lady. And that lady tastes fine.
~~~
I might have her in a pie, lookin’ yummy when she’s fried with something saucy
She is crunchy and she’s sweet, such a high fiber treat, her skin is glossy
I eat a lady! Whoa whoa whoa, Eat a lady!
Talkin’ about a Pink Lady. And that lady tastes fine.
~~~
When I’m at the supermarket know I always choose her
Always treat her with respect cause I don’t wanna bruise her
Sometimes when we get back home I put her in a juicer
She’s so versatile she could fill a whole buffet. Hey, hey, hey!
When I pop her in my mouth then I know what she’s about. She’s so delicious.
She got vitamins A and C, Riboflavin helps me see. She’s so nutritious.
I eat a lady! Whoa whoa whoa, Eat a lady!
Talkin’ about a Pink Lady. And that lady tastes fine.
~~~
Yeah yeah yeah! Eat a Lady! Whoa whoa whoa! Eat a Lady!
Listen to me. I eat a Lady. And that lady tastes fine.
Yeah yeah yeah! Eat a Lady! Talkin’ about a Pink Lady.
Whoa whoa whoa! And that lady, oh that lady tastes fine…

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

Share

The Like Ship! (Love Boat Parody)

Share

The Like Ship! (Love Boat Parody)

–> CLICK HERE! to buy it on The FuMP! <--

(Audio version)

      The Like Ship! (Joe J Thomas)

–> Buy it on The FuMP! (click here)

The Like Ship
(Prequel to The Love Boat)
Pilot Episode Theme Song

In 1990, after a successful 10 year run of “The Love Boat” the producers decided to make a prequel: “The Like Ship”

Pitch: Like “Love Boat”, but with dogs.

It was an utter disaster.

This theme song is all that remains…

(dedicated to the memory of Gavin MacLeod 1931-2021)

Copyright 2021, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.

~~~ Lyrics: ~~~
(vo) Love Boat prequel “The Like Ship”, pilot episode, reel 1…
Like… Your balls may turn blue
She’s so hot, but not into you!
And Like… You just wanna score
We all know, it’s not her it’s you!
The Like Ship! Everyone thinks that you’re just no fun
It’s Friendship! Just stick a fork in you ’cause you’re done
There’s no course to adventure, you won’t get a second chance
And Like… No need to feel sore
It’s a wave goodbye from a closing door
It’s LIKE!
You will be bored with LIKE!

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

Share

Have A Covid Lockdown Xmas! (parody song)

Share

Have A Covid Lockdown Xmas!

Parody of “Have A Holly Jolly Xmas” by Burl Ives

It’s Burl Ives as you’ve never heard him!
(because it’s not him…)

—>>> Click HERE To Purchase On The FuMP!<<<---

Audio Only:

      CovidLockdownXmas_JoesDump

Video at:

Written and sung by Joe J Thomas
Copyright 2020, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

Share

I’m A Virus (parody song)

Share

I’m A Virus

Parody of “I’m On Fire” by Bruce Springsteen

What can I do with the creepiest song by Springsteen? Make it creepier, of course!

As heard on Dr. Demento!

—>>> Click HERE To Purchase On The FuMP!<<<---

Audio Only:

      ImAVirus_JoesDump

Video at:

Written and sung by Joe J Thomas
Copyright 2020, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

Share

¡I’m Speaking Spanish!

Share

¡I’m Speaking Spanish!

I'm Speaking Spanish! (Joe's Dump Banner)
(parody of Billy Joel’s “I May Be Crazy”)

Nouns… Verbs… Conjugation!
Learning Spanish for 3+ years. Wrote a song. You will listen to pay for my lessons!

(and if you don’t speak Spanish, badly translated lyrics are in this video 😉 )

—>>> Click HERE To Purchase On The FuMP!<<<---

Audio Only:

      ImSpeakingSpanish_JoesDump

Written and Sung by Joe J Thomas of Joe’s Dump
www.JoesDump.com
Copyright 2020, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

Share

Hero Justice! (Pendant Seminar)

Share

Hero Justice!

PENDANT PRODUCTIONS PROUDLY PRESENTS:
Seminar Episode 90: A Time To Seek And A Time To Lose…

When you need help, sometimes it comes from the places you least expect it.
Featuring “Avatar” by Lisa N. Michaud and “Hero Justice” by Joe J. Thomas!

(my story is the second half, but listen to the whole episode 😉 )

Episode Audio:

      Seminar90master

Commentary Audio:

      Seminar90commentary

Transcript available at pendantaudio.com (click here).

Release Date: December 11, 2019 Run Time: 33:09

~~~ Artwork (click each for full size) ~~~

~~~ Backstory ~~~

It all started with a beard…

I had grown a weird goatee and mustache combo (see SightLine’s photo), and decided to have some fun shaving half of each off. Then I photoshopped the laser eyes and a destroyed city. A few months later, I did the Genie photo on a whim. Then I found an old superhero mask (Bellyman), that I used for Brick Red.

So, armed with three odd pictures I did what anyone would do: I made a fake movie poster.

After that, it was just a matter of writing a story to go with it. Yeah, I do everything backwards.

Next up: Pitching the idea to Marvel and DC 😉

(wish me luck…)

~~~ Credits ~~~

Seminar Episode 90: A Time To Seek And A Time To Lose…

Featuring the voice talents of Kathryn Pryde as Alice, Dan Foster as Alex and Thomas, and Aiden Rudd as Zerash.

In “Avatar,” Bare Schacht was Soo, Jake Philips was Smith, Jack Pevyhouse was LeBlanc Dave Morgan was Prakesh, and Jess Herring was Jones. The story was written by Lisa N. Michaud.

In “Hero Justice”, Joel Nisbitt was Senior FBI Agent, Joshua Zedicker was Junior FBI Agent, Cindy Woods was Alice Azure, Russ Gold was Bond-Zero, and Joe J. Thomas was Carl Calderon and the Heroes. The story was written by Joe J. Thomas.

This episode was directed by VC Morrison and assistant-directed by Samantha Reed. The wrapper script and story were written by Kathryn Pryde, and the shorts and wrapper were edited by Jeffrey Bridges.

Music featured in this episode include the following: Hero Justice Theme Song by Joe J. Thomas, additional music and Seminar theme were written by VC Morrison, produced by Pendant Productions.

Seminar co-created by Kathryn Pryde and Jeffrey Bridges
Copyright 2019 Pendant Productions

Pendant Audio: Seminar – Also Available on (clicky-clicky):
Apple Podcasts/iTunes
Spotify
Google Play
Stitcher
Pendant Podcast feed (xml)
Pendant Show Page (Seminar)


Where to find Pendant Audio (more clicky-clicky):
Pendant Audio (main site)
Pendant on Yahoo
Pendant on Twitter
Pendant on Facebook
Pendant on Tumblr
Pendant on YouTube

Thanks for listening!

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

Share

We’re Shopping At The Mall

Share

We’re Shopping At The Mall

Parody of “The Winner Takes It All” by Abba and Carla Bruni

Are you a husband? Have you been dragged to the mall for “The Shopping”? If you’ve been there, this song’s for you…

Now airing on The Dr. Demento Show!

…and available for download and purchase at The FuMP!!!

      WereShoppingAtTheMall_JoesDump

Written and Sung by: Joe J Thomas
Copyright 2019, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All rights reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.
Run time: 3:11

~~~ Lyrics: ~~~
I don’t understand… What you want to buy here
Purses, clothes and shoes
Any way I lose
I’m carrying the bags… Anything for you, dear
Oh my aching back
I think it’s out of whack
We’re Shopping at the Mall
My wife just bought it all
It won’t fit in the car
I need to find a bar
Then we got some lunch… Something from the food court
I wanted Peiking Duck
But I was out of luck
The burger they served me… Wasn’t of the meat sort
It smelled of month-old grease
Could we just go home please?
And then she turned to me
As happy as can be
That’s when I knew for sure
That I must still endure
We’re Shopping at the Mall
My wife just bought it all
I’d better call the man
To bring a U-Haul van
Does she know I’m here? Why is she still shopping?
Maybe I should speak
My legs are getting weak
We’re never going home… There is just no stopping
Have I lost my mind?
Or just lost track of time?
My credit card’s aflame
I can’t recall my name
How long have we been here
It really seems like years
The room is spinning round
I tumble to the ground
The medics heard my call
We’re Shopping at the Mall
We’re Shopping at the Mall
mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm
We’re Shopping at the Mall
We’re Shopping at the Mall

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

Share

DREAMNASIUM: Antiope in Black

Share

DREAMNASIUM: Antiope in Black

PENDANT PRODUCTIONS PROUDLY PRESENTS:
Dreamnasium: Pendant Audio Drama
“Dreamnasium” is an anthology show adapting the short stories of Geoffrey Thorne, full of sci-fi, fantasy, mystery and intrigue!.

(listen to parts 1 and 2 below…)

DREAMNASIUM, episode 7 – “Antiope in Black” part 1
Flint has spent her life in the shadows, but she’s about to discover she’s not the only thing lurking in the dark!

      Dreamnasium07Antiope1master

Transcript available at pendantaudio.com (click here).
Release Date: September 9, 2019 Run Time: 17:18

DREAMNASIUM, episode 8 – “Antiope in Black” part 2
Flint learns the truth about her mission and Baba Yaga’s machinations!

      Dreamnasium08Antiope2master

Transcript available at pendantaudio.com (click here).
Release Date: September 16, 2019 Run Time: 14:06


Also Available on (clicky-clicky):
Apple Podcasts/iTunes
Spotify
Google Play
Stitcher
Pendant Podcast feed (xml)
Pendant Show Page (Dreamnasium)

Featuring the voice talents of:
Barbra Dillon as Flint
Jack Calk as Mattock
Channe Nolen as Theta
Pete Milan as Hewdon
Jessie Moore as Brogrym
Joe J. Thomas as Skiff Control
Marte Brengle as Baba Yaga
Philip Weber as Meldrick
and Melissa Autumn Hearne as The Muse

Written by Jeffrey & Susan Bridges, based on the original short story
“Antiope in Black” by Geoffrey Thorne

Dreamnasium theme by Vincent Morrison
All other music by Josh Molen at TheTunePeddler.com

Directed by Paul Brueggemann

Produced by Pendant Productions
Executive Producers Jeffrey & Susan Bridges
This Production is copyright 2019 Geoffrey Thorne and Pendant Productions

Where to find Pendant Audio (more clicky-clicky):
Pendant Audio (main site)
Pendant on Yahoo
Pendant on Twitter
Pendant on Facebook
Pendant on Tumblr
Pendant on YouTube

Thanks for listening!

Share

DREAMNASIUM: Red/Shift

Share

DREAMNASIUM: Red/Shift

PENDANT PRODUCTIONS PROUDLY PRESENTS:
Dreamnasium: Red/Shift
“Dreamnasium” is an anthology show adapting the short stories of Geoffrey Thorne, full of sci-fi, fantasy, mystery and intrigue!.

(listen to parts 1 and 2 below…)

DREAMNASIUM, episode 5 – “Red/Shift” part 1
A serial killer is moving through the Aresian night, but someone’s tracking his every move!

      Dreamnasium05RedShift1master

Transcript available at pendantaudio.com (click here).
Release Date: August 19, 2019 Run Time: 25:04

DREAMNASIUM, episode 6 – “Red/Shift” part 2
Red and Amina engage in a battle of wits, as Elzin closes in on her target!

      Dreamnasium06RedShift2master

Transcript available at pendantaudio.com (click here).
Release Date: August 26, 2019 Run Time: 26:22


Also Available on (clicky-clicky):
Apple Podcasts/iTunes
Spotify
Google Play
Stitcher
Pendant Podcast feed (xml)
Pendant Show Page (Dreamnasium)

Featuring the voice talents of:
Channe Nolen as Amina Fisk-Okker
Joe J. Thomas as Red
Kristen Bays as Gio
Pete Milan as Breminsky
Darian Lindle as Cynda
Barbra Dillon as the Computer Voice and the Tube Announcer
Kathryn Pryde as Elzin
Jessie Moore as Ocelano
Jack Calk as the Server
Philip Weber as Liam the Hologram
Marte Brengle as Kwai
Perry Whittle as the Bravo
and Melissa Autumn Hearne as The Muse

Written by Jeffrey & Susan Bridges, based on the original short story
“Red/Shift” by Geoffrey Thorne

Dreamnasium theme by Vincent Morrison
All other music by Josh Molen at TheTunePeddler.com

Directed by Landon Beall (part 1)
Directed by Kathryn Pryde (part 2)

Produced by Pendant Productions
Executive Producers Jeffrey & Susan Bridges
This Production is copyright 2019 Geoffrey Thorne and Pendant Productions

Where to find Pendant Audio (more clicky-clicky):
Pendant Audio (main site)
Pendant on Yahoo
Pendant on Twitter
Pendant on Facebook
Pendant on Tumblr
Pendant on YouTube

Thanks for listening!

Share

DREAMNASIUM: The Dame Wore a Tesseract

Share

DREAMNASIUM: The Dame Wore a Tesseract

PENDANT PRODUCTIONS PROUDLY PRESENTS:
Dreamnasium: Pendant Audio Drama
“Dreamnasium” is an anthology show adapting the short stories of Geoffrey Thorne, full of sci-fi, fantasy, mystery and intrigue!.

(listen to parts 1 and 2 below…)

DREAMNASIUM, episode 3 – “The Dame Wore a Tesseract,” part 1
It was a day like any other for private investigator Harris Gray, until the Dame walked in and turned his world upside-down!

      Dreamnasium03Dame1master

Transcript available at pendantaudio.com (click here).
Release Date: July 29, 2019 Run Time: 24:33

DREAMNASIUM, episode 4 – “The Dame Wore a Tesseract,” part 2
Just when Harris Gray thought he had it all figured out, he learns that people aren’t always who they seem to be!

      Dreamnasium04Dame2master

Transcript available at pendantaudio.com (click here).
Release Date: August 5, 2019 Run Time: 18:41


Also Available on (clicky-clicky):
Apple Podcasts/iTunes
Spotify
Google Play
Stitcher
Pendant Podcast feed (xml)
Pendant Show Page (Dreamnasium)

Featuring the voice talents of:
Pete Milan as Harris Gray
Kristen Bays as the Dame
Perry Whittle as Maxie Sparks
Joe J. Thomas as Belanoff
Jack Calk as Cranzetti
Philip Weber as Butch
Jessie Moore as Dyson
Philip Weber as Butch
Darian Lindle as the Operator
Susan Bridges as Maguane
Marte Brengle as the Bartender
Kathryn Pryde as the Computer Voice
and Melissa Autumn Hearne as The Muse

Written by Jeffrey & Susan Bridges, based on the original short story
“The Dame Wore a Tesseract” by Geoffrey Thorne

Dreamnasium theme by Vincent Morrison
All other music by Josh Molen at TheTunePeddler.com

Directed by Dave Morgan

Produced by Pendant Productions
Executive Producers Jeffrey & Susan Bridges
This Production is copyright 2019 Geoffrey Thorne and Pendant Productions

Where to find Pendant Audio (more clicky-clicky):
Pendant Audio (main site)
Pendant on Yahoo
Pendant on Twitter
Pendant on Facebook
Pendant on Tumblr
Pendant on YouTube

Thanks for listening!

Share