What Happened?

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What Happened?

Snake biting it’s tail.
Lives and markets fluctuate.
All is well for some.
Others, like Elvis, have left the building.
Existence is change: embrace it.
Notice the growth and the decay.
Forever intertwined.
The End Is Near!
… but so is The Beginning.

  – Joe

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The Tragic Tale of WorMagellan

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While out walking after a rare southern California rain, I glanced down and saw a hapless worm who had managed to make it halfway across the sidewalk before expiring. This is that worm’s epic saga:

The Tragic Tale of WorMagellan

It was a lovely spring day on the grassy yards of FrontLawnia. All was quiet in the loamy underground court of the King and Queen, when in burst a stranger with the piercing look of a seasoned traveler.

He was WorMagellan, a crackpot known well in royal circles as one who believed the sidewalk was round. “Absurd!”, said the King. “Poppycock!”, agreed the Queen, “Everyone knows the sidewalk is flat!”.

“I’ll prove the sidewalk is not flat by circumnavigating it!”, bellowed WorMagellan.

And so, WorMagellan bided his time. He prepared and planned and watched and waited. When the rains came, and the sidewalk tides were just right, he embarked upon his epic journey!

… Unfortunately, he was wrong.

The End.

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Your Moron-Duh Rights

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You have the right to be stupid.

You have the right to believe that wishing is as good, or better than, doing.

You have the right to be willfully ignorant when exposed to factual evidence that contradicts your long-held notions.

… and I have the right to ignore you.

Rights go hand-in-hand with Responsibilities.

Freedom has consequences.

Change your perception, and your view of the world will change.

The world we see that seems so insane is the result of a belief system that is not working. To perceive the world differently, we must be willing to change our belief system, let the past slip away, expand our sense of now, and dissolve the fear in our minds.
– William James

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The Night Before Christmas, 2001

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The Night Before Christmas, 2001
Written by David A. Tarr

Originally published in Omni Magazine (December 1979)

Read by Joe J Thomas

      JoeActor_NightBeforeXmas2001

Santa Spaceship

T’was the night before Christmas, and all through my home
Not a creature was stirring, not even my clone.

The test tubes were hung by the burner with care,
In hopes that Saint Nicholas soon would be there.

The androids were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of mc2 danced in their heads.

My wife in her jumpsuit, and I in my vest,
Had just settled down to some drug-induced rest.

When, out by the labs, there arose such a clatter,
My bed woke me up to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I hastened my mass,
Tore open the blast shields, and threw up the glass.

The refraction of moonlight through smog-ridden air
Gave a luster of midday to everything there.

When what to my bionic eyes should appear
But a mass-driven sleigh with some strange landing gear.

With a quick little pilot, a company man,
Who did what was asked and followed the plan.

More rapid that phantoms his coursers they came,
He impulsed the crewmen, then called them by name.

“Now, Redox! Now, Hewlett!, Now, Quasar and Photon!
“On, Laser! On, Xerox! On, Pulsar and Proton!

“To the top of the dome, by the air intake vent.
“Now dash away quickly before our fuel’s spent.”

So, up to the air vent his coursers they flew,
With a craft full of toys and Saint Nicholas, too.

And then, in a flash, on the dome I did hear
The scratching and scraping of stout landing gear.

I steadied my blaster, my chest to the ground,
And then, through the air vent, he came with a bound.

He was dressed in a three-piece he’d rented near here.
(Why purchase an outfit you wear once a year?)

A life-support system he wore on his back,
While toys for the ‘droids he took out of his pack.

A bottle of synthroid he held in his hand
(He was quite overweight from a poor thyroid gland).

He brought out the toys that department stores sell;
The elves at the Pole could not make them as well.

He checked with the base ship, while doing his work,
And filled all the test tubes, then turned with a jerk.

His anti-grav belt was secure, I suppose,
And, pressing the keys, up the air vent he rose.

He sprang to his craft, to the crew gave a shout;
The ship heaved a shudder, then blasted them out.

But I heard him exclaim as he flew out of sight,
“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good flight!”

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Welcome to the DUMP!

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It’s New!

It’s Now! (well, maybe later…)

It’s Happening! (do the kids still talk like that?)

IT’S Joe’s Dump!

(more exclamation points to follow 😉

      gravity2

 

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