RoboCall? RoboAnswer It!

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RoboCall? Robo-Answer It!

RogoAnswer!

The RoboAnswer Audio (play this when you get a RoboCall):

      RoboAnswer_JoeActor_20130930_LoopIt

      Download the RoboAnswer MP3 Here!

The Story:

I’m in my home studio recording an audition when the phone rings.
Thinking it might be my wife, I answer:

Me: Hello?
RC: This is an urgent message about your available credit. Would you like to lower your monthl…
Me: (mashing every button on the phone while simultaneously swearing)
RC: Hi. This is Todd. Are you calling to learn how to lower yo…
Me: Actually, Todd, I’d like you to remove my number from your call li…
RC: (click. beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeppppppp…)
Me: (mashing every button on the phone while simultaneously swearing)
Me: (slamming down the phone) Aaaarrrrrrrrgggghhhhhh!!!!!

If only there was some way I could do something about these blasted RoboCalls!
Wait a sec… I’m a voice actor!
I can do something.
And that’s how RoboAnswer was born!

The next time you get any kind of mind-numbingly boring sales or other call, just play the above clip into the phone. Be sure to put it on repeat, then just walk away!

For your convenience there’s also a link to the MP3 file under the player.

Enjoy!,
Joe

—— transcript ——
Hello?!
Thank you for interrupting my busy day.
I’m really interested in whatever it is you’re selling.
Please stay on the line.
Something will be with you shortly.
(music)
Did you know that over half our lives are spent waiting on hold?
Be sure to ask a representative to tell you more.
(music)
Your call is more important to us than life itself.
Please continue to hold.
(music)
Are you often find yourself bored?
Why not count to a billion while you’re waiting?
(music)
Thank you for your continued patience and gullibility.
We’re really busy right now, but we’ll find some time for you in just a bit.
(music)
Do you have a job that annoys other people?
Want one?
Why not apply for a position with us!
Be sure to annoy our operator for more details.
(music)
Do you have time after this call for a brief survey or maybe a latte?
If yes, please press the circumflex key now.
If no, press the tilde key.
(music)
Are you still there? Great, it’s been a while since we’ve had someone last this long!
Keep up the good work!
(music and fade out)
—— ~~~~~~ ——

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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10 thoughts on “RoboCall? RoboAnswer It!

  1. This. Is. Awesome. I used to answer every phone call like this: “Hi! You’ve reached Karyn. This is actually me, not my answering machine – so if this is a robocall, it has probably hung up by now. But if you’re a real person and want to talk to me, go ahead!” It confuses the robocalls into thinking they’ve reached a machine and they hang up. And the real people laugh. He he he!

  2. Pingback: RoboCall? RoboAnswer It! | Voiceover BlogTalk |...

  3. I tried getting the link under the player, but unfortunately I lack the necessary skills. Is there a trick to download the MP3? I’d love to use it on my voice mail for my land line which no one but spammers ever use.

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