Yearly Archives: 2025

Bad Case Of Loving You (Joe’s Bassment)

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Bad Case Of Loving You (Joe’s Bassment)

How low can Joe go?
Cover Versions of Popular Songs in the Key of Bass

Welcome back to Joe’s Bassment, Where I sing a popular song in a lower key…

This week, I’m covering “Bad Case Of Loving You” made popular by Robert Palmer

At an octave lower, my version sounds more like a ZZ Top tune (in fact, they do cover this song in their live shows):

      Bad Case Of Loving You (Joe's Bassment: Joe J Thomas)

The original song was written and performed by Moon Martin.
Listen to Moon Martin’s version here!

More info on Wikipedia here (clicky)

~~~ Lyrics: ~~~
Bad Case of Loving You (written by Moon Martin)

Lyrics
— — —
(music, Whoa!)
A hot summer night, fell like a net; I’ve gotta find my baby yet
I need you, to soothe my head; And turn my blue heart to red
Doctor Doctor, gimme the news; I got a bad case of lovin’ you
No pill’s gonna cure my ill; I got a bad case of lovin’ you
A pretty face don’t make no pretty heart; I learned that buddy from the start
You think I’m cute, a little bit shy; Mama, I ain’t that kind of guy
Doctor Doctor, gimme the news; I got a bad case of lovin’ you
No pill’s gonna cure my ill; I got a bad case of lovin’ you
(music, Whoa!)
I know you like it, you like it on top; Tell me mamma, are you gonna stop?
You had me down at twenty-one to zip; Smile of Judas on your lip
Shake my fist, knock on wood; I got it bad, and I got it good
Doctor Doctor, gimme the news; I got a bad case of lovin’ you
No pill’s gonna cure my ill; I got a bad case of lovin’ you

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

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Prez Like Me

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Prez Like Me

(parody of “Friend Like Me” from Aladdin)

On one thing we can all agree…
You Ain’t Never Had A Prez Like Me!

Buy it on The FuMP!!! (clicky! clicky!)

      Prez Like Me by Joe J Thomas

Lyrics and Singing: Joe J Thomas

Copyright 2025, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, Joe’s Dump (JoesDump.com)
All Rights Reserved.
Not A Quinn-Martin Production.

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
Prez Like Me
(parody of “Friend Like Me” from Aladdin)
Lyrics and Singing: Joe J Thomas

… *** V1 ***
I been convicted of 34 felonies
With a thousand more on my tail
I never pay any of my attorney fees
And half my lawyers have been sent to jail
With crazy billionaires in my pocket now
Poorly educated voters in my camp
We’ll own those snowflake woke up libs, k-pow!
You picked an idiot for your champ!
And I say, hey angry racist rubes, I’ll make you rich you’ll see
Let me promise you some crazy shit
You ain’t never had a Prez like me!
This is your country now, a Dictatory regime
Cuz I’ll never give you what you want
You ain’t never had a Prez like me!
… *** V2 ***
Yes sir, I got some secret service. I’m the Boss, The King, you slobs!
It’s what I wish, go take a piss; Gonna fire you from your jobs!
I’ll sink the stock market, and crash the economy
Raise the gas and food, screw all you dudes
You ain’t never had a Prez like me!
… (scat interlude) Hamberders! Duh Duh! Drinkin’ Bleach! Duh Duh! Covfefe! Duh Duh! Duuuueeee!
… *** Bridge ***
Is your Prez a jerk? Is your Prez real crass?
Does your Prez have his head, up his big fat ass!
Can your Prez fool you? Well, looky here!
Gonna take your benefits, rights, your future and freedoms and make ‘em all disappear!
… *** V3 ***
So dontcha moan and groan about this shit, you morons only got yourselves to blame
Despite the lies, the vote is certified; The country’s never gonna be the same
Things are great for me, not so much for you. I thrive on pain and woe.
The nasty evil things I’ll do, Deport your uncle to Guantanamo.
From the Gulf of America and sea to stinkin’ sea
My Maga mob are here to rob
… *** CLOSE ***
You ain’t never had a Prez, things have gone amiss
You ain’t never had a Prez, straight from the abyss
You ain’t never. Had a. Prez. Like. Me!
(scatting…) Putin’s Pal, Brain Worm Guy. Nazi Nerds, Paedophiles. Musky Boy.
Now get ready for my Term Three! Ha!

– (fin)

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Panda Parody Song

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Panda Parody Song

Pandas. You know they’re not from here, right?
Damn Alien Pandas…

Panda Parody Song
(parody of “Brandy” by Looking Glass 1972)

Buy it on The FuMP!!! (clicky! clicky!)

      Panda Parody Song by Joe J Thomas

Lyrics and Vocals by Joe J Thomas of Joe’s Dump (JoesDump.com)

Copyright 2025, Joe’s Dump (JoesDump.com)
All Rights Reserved.
Not A Quinn-Martin Production.

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
Panda Parody Song
(parody of “Brandy” by Looking Glass 1972)

Lyrics and Singing by Joe J Thomas of JoesDump.com
… verse 1
There’s a zoo not too far away
Moms and Dads watch their children play
Just to see furry things encaged
They’d never see at home
And there’s a bear in this smelly place
Some bamboo chewin’ in her face
She’s a Panda here from outer space
Lookin’ harmless by design
… chorus
And science says “Panda, Black and White Bear. Eatin’ all them bamboo trees”
But that thing could be an alien transplantee
… verse 2
Panda has a secret lair
Mind control hidden in her hair
A spaceship with galactic flare
And an anti-matter core
She came from a distant world
Plot and plan and to observe
Invasion fleets would be transferred
The earth is not her home
… chorus
And science says “Panda, Black and White Bear. Eatin’ all them bamboo trees”
They’re on earth and want to enslave humanity
… bridge
That Panda looked into my eyes and the things I saw were gory
The police did not believe a word when I told them the whole story
A tinfoil hat upon my head to stop their cunning plan
But no one else on earth will understand!
… verse 3
At night when the zoo’s closed down
Is when I’m lurking all around
To look for things I haven’t found
That ET hides so well
… chorus
And science says “Panda, Black and White Bear. Eatin’ all them bamboo trees”
They’re on earth and want to enslave humanity
Yeah science says “Panda, Black and White Bear. Eatin’ all them bamboo trees”
They’re on earth and want to enslave humanity

– (fin)

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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50 Ways To Love Your Lever (parody song)

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50 Ways To Love Your Lever

(parody of Paul Simon’s “50 Ways To Leave Your Lover”)

Valentine’s day is on the way!
Time for some self-love, euphemisms, and good ole spoonerisms!

Buy it on The FuMP!!! (clicky! clicky!)

      50 Ways To Love Your Lever by Joe J Thomas

Lyrics and Vocals by Joe J Thomas of Joe’s Dump (JoesDump.com)

Copyright 2025, Joe’s Dump (JoesDump.com)
All Rights Reserved.
Not A Quinn-Martin Production.

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
50 Ways To Love Your Lever
(parody of Paul Simon’s “50 Ways To Leave Your Lover”)
~~~
I’ll help you with your auto sexuality
Choking your chicken is as simple as can be
Sit back, relax, undo that zipper easily
There must be fifty ways to love your lever
Don’t look at me as if my words are being rude
A chat about your skin flute’s bound to get a little crude
You sure don’t want to be a nasty little incel dude
There must be fifty ways to love your lever
Fifty ways to love your lever
…
You just slip out your schlong, Kong; Movin’ your hand, Stan
Ain’t playin’ with no toy, Roy; Just set your junk free
Oh, you give it a touch, Gus; In the under the butt nut hut!
Just grab what you see, Lee; And set your junk free
Yank on the crank, Frank. Pull on the pud Judd
Grab hold of the tool, Fool. Just set your junk free
Gonna bust a big nut, Chuck; Shift into that beef clutch
Well beat on the meat, Pete; And set your junk free
…
She said “I hope you see the method in my way”
On your way out, there’s a lady who’d be glad to take your pay
And I said, thank you Dr Ruth…
But can you tell me more about the fifty ways?
She said, “Why don’t you go home and take it in your hands?”
“It’ll be a big relief to all the pressure in your glands”
And as I walked out, I knew I could be the much bigger man
Who knows the fifty ways to love your lever
Fifty ways to love your lever
…
You just slip out your schlong, Kong; Movin’ your hand, Stan
Ain’t playin’ with no toy, Roy; Just set your junk free
Oh, you give it a touch, Gus; In the under the butt nut hut!
Just grab what you see, Lee; And set your junk free
Yank on the crank, Frank. Pull on the pud Judd
Grab hold of the tool, Fool. Just set your junk free
Gonna bust a big nut, Chuck; Shift into that beef clutch
Well beat on the meat, Pete; And set your junk free

– (fin)

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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