Panda Parody Song

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Panda Parody Song

Pandas. You know they’re not from here, right?
Damn Alien Pandas…

Panda Parody Song
(parody of “Brandy” by Looking Glass 1972)

Buy it on The FuMP!!! (clicky! clicky!)

      Panda Parody Song by Joe J Thomas

Lyrics and Vocals by Joe J Thomas of Joe’s Dump (JoesDump.com)

Copyright 2025, Joe’s Dump (JoesDump.com)
All Rights Reserved.
Not A Quinn-Martin Production.

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
Panda Parody Song
(parody of “Brandy” by Looking Glass 1972)

Lyrics and Singing by Joe J Thomas of JoesDump.com
… verse 1
There’s a zoo not too far away
Moms and Dads watch their children play
Just to see furry things encaged
They’d never see at home
And there’s a bear in this smelly place
Some bamboo chewin’ in her face
She’s a Panda here from outer space
Lookin’ harmless by design
… chorus
And science says “Panda, Black and White Bear. Eatin’ all them bamboo trees”
But that thing could be an alien transplantee
… verse 2
Panda has a secret lair
Mind control hidden in her hair
A spaceship with galactic flare
And an anti-matter core
She came from a distant world
Plot and plan and to observe
Invasion fleets would be transferred
The earth is not her home
… chorus
And science says “Panda, Black and White Bear. Eatin’ all them bamboo trees”
They’re on earth and want to enslave humanity
… bridge
That Panda looked into my eyes and the things I saw were gory
The police did not believe a word when I told them the whole story
A tinfoil hat upon my head to stop their cunning plan
But no one else on earth will understand!
… verse 3
At night when the zoo’s closed down
Is when I’m lurking all around
To look for things I haven’t found
That ET hides so well
… chorus
And science says “Panda, Black and White Bear. Eatin’ all them bamboo trees”
They’re on earth and want to enslave humanity
Yeah science says “Panda, Black and White Bear. Eatin’ all them bamboo trees”
They’re on earth and want to enslave humanity

– (fin)

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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50 Ways To Love Your Lever (parody song)

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50 Ways To Love Your Lever

(parody of Paul Simon’s “50 Ways To Leave Your Lover”)

Valentine’s day is on the way!
Time for some self-love, euphemisms, and good ole spoonerisms!

Buy it on The FuMP!!! (clicky! clicky!)

      50 Ways To Love Your Lever by Joe J Thomas

Lyrics and Vocals by Joe J Thomas of Joe’s Dump (JoesDump.com)

Copyright 2025, Joe’s Dump (JoesDump.com)
All Rights Reserved.
Not A Quinn-Martin Production.

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
50 Ways To Love Your Lever
(parody of Paul Simon’s “50 Ways To Leave Your Lover”)
~~~
I’ll help you with your auto sexuality
Choking your chicken is as simple as can be
Sit back, relax, undo that zipper easily
There must be fifty ways to love your lever
Don’t look at me as if my words are being rude
A chat about your skin flute’s bound to get a little crude
You sure don’t want to be a nasty little incel dude
There must be fifty ways to love your lever
Fifty ways to love your lever

You just slip out your schlong, Kong; Movin’ your hand, Stan
Ain’t playin’ with no toy, Roy; Just set your junk free
Oh, you give it a touch, Gus; In the under the butt nut hut!
Just grab what you see, Lee; And set your junk free
Yank on the crank, Frank. Pull on the pud Judd
Grab hold of the tool, Fool. Just set your junk free
Gonna bust a big nut, Chuck; Shift into that beef clutch
Well beat on the meat, Pete; And set your junk free

She said “I hope you see the method in my way”
On your way out, there’s a lady who’d be glad to take your pay
And I said, thank you Dr Ruth…
But can you tell me more about the fifty ways?
She said, “Why don’t you go home and take it in your hands?”
“It’ll be a big relief to all the pressure in your glands”
And as I walked out, I knew I could be the much bigger man
Who knows the fifty ways to love your lever
Fifty ways to love your lever

You just slip out your schlong, Kong; Movin’ your hand, Stan
Ain’t playin’ with no toy, Roy; Just set your junk free
Oh, you give it a touch, Gus; In the under the butt nut hut!
Just grab what you see, Lee; And set your junk free
Yank on the crank, Frank. Pull on the pud Judd
Grab hold of the tool, Fool. Just set your junk free
Gonna bust a big nut, Chuck; Shift into that beef clutch
Well beat on the meat, Pete; And set your junk free

– (fin)

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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