We’re Shopping At The Mall

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We’re Shopping At The Mall

Parody of “The Winner Takes It All” by Abba and Carla Bruni

Are you a husband? Have you been dragged to the mall for “The Shopping”? If you’ve been there, this song’s for you…

Now airing on The Dr. Demento Show!

…and available for download and purchase at The FuMP!!!

      WereShoppingAtTheMall_JoesDump

Written and Sung by: Joe J Thomas
Copyright 2019, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All rights reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.
Run time: 3:11

~~~ Lyrics: ~~~
I don’t understand… What you want to buy here
Purses, clothes and shoes
Any way I lose
I’m carrying the bags… Anything for you, dear
Oh my aching back
I think it’s out of whack
We’re Shopping at the Mall
My wife just bought it all
It won’t fit in the car
I need to find a bar
Then we got some lunch… Something from the food court
I wanted Peiking Duck
But I was out of luck
The burger they served me… Wasn’t of the meat sort
It smelled of month-old grease
Could we just go home please?
And then she turned to me
As happy as can be
That’s when I knew for sure
That I must still endure
We’re Shopping at the Mall
My wife just bought it all
I’d better call the man
To bring a U-Haul van
Does she know I’m here? Why is she still shopping?
Maybe I should speak
My legs are getting weak
We’re never going home… There is just no stopping
Have I lost my mind?
Or just lost track of time?
My credit card’s aflame
I can’t recall my name
How long have we been here
It really seems like years
The room is spinning round
I tumble to the ground
The medics heard my call
We’re Shopping at the Mall
We’re Shopping at the Mall
mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm
We’re Shopping at the Mall
We’re Shopping at the Mall

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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DREAMNASIUM: Antiope in Black

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DREAMNASIUM: Antiope in Black

PENDANT PRODUCTIONS PROUDLY PRESENTS:
Dreamnasium: Pendant Audio Drama
“Dreamnasium” is an anthology show adapting the short stories of Geoffrey Thorne, full of sci-fi, fantasy, mystery and intrigue!.

(listen to parts 1 and 2 below…)

DREAMNASIUM, episode 7 – “Antiope in Black” part 1
Flint has spent her life in the shadows, but she’s about to discover she’s not the only thing lurking in the dark!

      Dreamnasium07Antiope1master

Transcript available at pendantaudio.com (click here).
Release Date: September 9, 2019 Run Time: 17:18

DREAMNASIUM, episode 8 – “Antiope in Black” part 2
Flint learns the truth about her mission and Baba Yaga’s machinations!

      Dreamnasium08Antiope2master

Transcript available at pendantaudio.com (click here).
Release Date: September 16, 2019 Run Time: 14:06


Also Available on (clicky-clicky):
Apple Podcasts/iTunes
Spotify
Google Play
Stitcher
Pendant Podcast feed (xml)
Pendant Show Page (Dreamnasium)

Featuring the voice talents of:
Barbra Dillon as Flint
Jack Calk as Mattock
Channe Nolen as Theta
Pete Milan as Hewdon
Jessie Moore as Brogrym
Joe J. Thomas as Skiff Control
Marte Brengle as Baba Yaga
Philip Weber as Meldrick
and Melissa Autumn Hearne as The Muse

Written by Jeffrey & Susan Bridges, based on the original short story
“Antiope in Black” by Geoffrey Thorne

Dreamnasium theme by Vincent Morrison
All other music by Josh Molen at TheTunePeddler.com

Directed by Paul Brueggemann

Produced by Pendant Productions
Executive Producers Jeffrey & Susan Bridges
This Production is copyright 2019 Geoffrey Thorne and Pendant Productions

Where to find Pendant Audio (more clicky-clicky):
Pendant Audio (main site)
Pendant on Yahoo
Pendant on Twitter
Pendant on Facebook
Pendant on Tumblr
Pendant on YouTube

Thanks for listening!

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DREAMNASIUM: Red/Shift

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DREAMNASIUM: Red/Shift

PENDANT PRODUCTIONS PROUDLY PRESENTS:
Dreamnasium: Red/Shift
“Dreamnasium” is an anthology show adapting the short stories of Geoffrey Thorne, full of sci-fi, fantasy, mystery and intrigue!.

(listen to parts 1 and 2 below…)

DREAMNASIUM, episode 5 – “Red/Shift” part 1
A serial killer is moving through the Aresian night, but someone’s tracking his every move!

      Dreamnasium05RedShift1master

Transcript available at pendantaudio.com (click here).
Release Date: August 19, 2019 Run Time: 25:04

DREAMNASIUM, episode 6 – “Red/Shift” part 2
Red and Amina engage in a battle of wits, as Elzin closes in on her target!

      Dreamnasium06RedShift2master

Transcript available at pendantaudio.com (click here).
Release Date: August 26, 2019 Run Time: 26:22


Also Available on (clicky-clicky):
Apple Podcasts/iTunes
Spotify
Google Play
Stitcher
Pendant Podcast feed (xml)
Pendant Show Page (Dreamnasium)

Featuring the voice talents of:
Channe Nolen as Amina Fisk-Okker
Joe J. Thomas as Red
Kristen Bays as Gio
Pete Milan as Breminsky
Darian Lindle as Cynda
Barbra Dillon as the Computer Voice and the Tube Announcer
Kathryn Pryde as Elzin
Jessie Moore as Ocelano
Jack Calk as the Server
Philip Weber as Liam the Hologram
Marte Brengle as Kwai
Perry Whittle as the Bravo
and Melissa Autumn Hearne as The Muse

Written by Jeffrey & Susan Bridges, based on the original short story
“Red/Shift” by Geoffrey Thorne

Dreamnasium theme by Vincent Morrison
All other music by Josh Molen at TheTunePeddler.com

Directed by Landon Beall (part 1)
Directed by Kathryn Pryde (part 2)

Produced by Pendant Productions
Executive Producers Jeffrey & Susan Bridges
This Production is copyright 2019 Geoffrey Thorne and Pendant Productions

Where to find Pendant Audio (more clicky-clicky):
Pendant Audio (main site)
Pendant on Yahoo
Pendant on Twitter
Pendant on Facebook
Pendant on Tumblr
Pendant on YouTube

Thanks for listening!

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DREAMNASIUM: The Dame Wore a Tesseract

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DREAMNASIUM: The Dame Wore a Tesseract

PENDANT PRODUCTIONS PROUDLY PRESENTS:
Dreamnasium: Pendant Audio Drama
“Dreamnasium” is an anthology show adapting the short stories of Geoffrey Thorne, full of sci-fi, fantasy, mystery and intrigue!.

(listen to parts 1 and 2 below…)

DREAMNASIUM, episode 3 – “The Dame Wore a Tesseract,” part 1
It was a day like any other for private investigator Harris Gray, until the Dame walked in and turned his world upside-down!

      Dreamnasium03Dame1master

Transcript available at pendantaudio.com (click here).
Release Date: July 29, 2019 Run Time: 24:33

DREAMNASIUM, episode 4 – “The Dame Wore a Tesseract,” part 2
Just when Harris Gray thought he had it all figured out, he learns that people aren’t always who they seem to be!

      Dreamnasium04Dame2master

Transcript available at pendantaudio.com (click here).
Release Date: August 5, 2019 Run Time: 18:41


Also Available on (clicky-clicky):
Apple Podcasts/iTunes
Spotify
Google Play
Stitcher
Pendant Podcast feed (xml)
Pendant Show Page (Dreamnasium)

Featuring the voice talents of:
Pete Milan as Harris Gray
Kristen Bays as the Dame
Perry Whittle as Maxie Sparks
Joe J. Thomas as Belanoff
Jack Calk as Cranzetti
Philip Weber as Butch
Jessie Moore as Dyson
Philip Weber as Butch
Darian Lindle as the Operator
Susan Bridges as Maguane
Marte Brengle as the Bartender
Kathryn Pryde as the Computer Voice
and Melissa Autumn Hearne as The Muse

Written by Jeffrey & Susan Bridges, based on the original short story
“The Dame Wore a Tesseract” by Geoffrey Thorne

Dreamnasium theme by Vincent Morrison
All other music by Josh Molen at TheTunePeddler.com

Directed by Dave Morgan

Produced by Pendant Productions
Executive Producers Jeffrey & Susan Bridges
This Production is copyright 2019 Geoffrey Thorne and Pendant Productions

Where to find Pendant Audio (more clicky-clicky):
Pendant Audio (main site)
Pendant on Yahoo
Pendant on Twitter
Pendant on Facebook
Pendant on Tumblr
Pendant on YouTube

Thanks for listening!

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IMDb Study: Nearly 70% of Actors Have Careers That Last Only One Year

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IMDb Study: Nearly 70% of Actors Have Careers That Last Only One Year

IMDb Stats
A recent study in the journal “Nature Communications” provides some eye-opening statistics into the careers of actors and actresses in the Internet Movie Database (IMDb.com).

Data was collected from IMDb on the careers of 1,512,472 actors and 896,029 actresses as recorded as of January 16th, 2016, including careers stretching back to the first recorded movie in 1888.

Their model predicts with up to 85% accuracy whether an actor or actress is likely to have a brighter future, or if the best days are, unfortunately, behind them.

Some of the key findings:

  • 69% of Actors and 68% Actresses have careers that only last one year.
  • The unemployment rate for Actors/Actresses hovers around 90%
  • Acting careers run in hot and cold streaks.
  • Cold streaks tend to fade more quickly for Actors than for Actresses.

For a more detailed look at this study, please follow the links below…

Relevant Links:

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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DREAMNASIUM: The Lingering Grief of Twilight

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DREAMNASIUM: The Lingering Grief of Twilight

PENDANT PRODUCTIONS PROUDLY PRESENTS:
Dreamnasium: Pendant Audio Drama
“Dreamnasium” is an anthology show adapting the short stories of Geoffrey Thorne, full of sci-fi, fantasy, mystery and intrigue!.

(listen to parts 1 and 2 below…)

DREAMNASIUM, episode 1 – “The Lingering Grief of Twilight,” part 1
Lady Justice, protector of Earth, rises to meet a new challenge as she struggles with events from her past!

      Dreamnasium01Twilight1master

Transcript available at pendantaudio.com (click here).
Release Date: July 8, 2019 Run Time: 21:12

DREAMNASIUM, episode 2 – “The Lingering Grief of Twilight,” part 2
Lady Justice battles for the fate of earth, as the startling origin of her adversaries is revealed!

      Dreamnasium02Twilight2master

Transcript available at pendantaudio.com (click here).
Release Date: July 15, 2019 Run Time: 18:48


Also Available on (clicky-clicky):
Apple Podcasts/iTunes
Spotify
Google Play
Stitcher
Pendant Podcast feed (xml)
Pendant Show Page (Dreamnasium)

Featuring the voice talents of:
Darian Lindle as Lady Justice
Philip Weber as Captain Farragut
Kathryn Pryde as Chaplain Broek
Perry Whittle as Eos
Channe Nolen as Magistrate Vugin
Barbra Dillon as Eolis
and Melissa Autumn Hearne as The Muse

Written by Jeffrey & Susan Bridges, based on the original short story
“The Lingering Grief of Twilight” by Geoffrey Thorne

Dreamnasium theme by Vincent Morrison
All other music by Josh Molen at TheTunePeddler.com

Directed by Kathryn Pryde

Produced by Pendant Productions
Executive Producers Jeffrey & Susan Bridges
This Production is copyright 2019 Geoffrey Thorne and Pendant Productions

Where to find Pendant Audio (more clicky-clicky):
Pendant Audio (main site)
Pendant on Yahoo
Pendant on Twitter
Pendant on Facebook
Pendant on Tumblr
Pendant on YouTube

Thanks for listening!

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Doctor Who: Big Stompy Robots (part 2)

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Doctor Who: Big Stompy Robots (part 2)

Afternoon Tea Adventures presents a brand new Doctor Who audio drama in 2 parts.
Afternoon Tea Adventures: Big Stompy Robots

(if you missed part one, click here: Big Stompy Robots Part 1)

Listen to part two here:

More Afternoon Tea Adventures available on iTunes (click here)

Or on YouTube:
Afternoon Tea Adventures on YouTube

Doctor Who: Big Stompy Robots – A sci-fi romp.
Every week (or as broadcasting schedules permit) the fictional Xenos Coverage Crew from Star Newz reports the latest in the ongoing battles against an invading force of cruel lizard aggressors. Leading the charge in this low-budget sci-fi production are an amiably dim news anchor and a headstrong field reporter. Neither of them have a hair out of place…

…not even when real Big Stompy Robots come down from the skies, and Star Newz and their studio find themselves in need of desperate help from one of their biggest fans – The Doctor! As reality becomes stranger than fiction, the stakes get raised and soon a whole planet faces imminent destruction!

What shadowy secrets are locked away in a state-of-the-art production office?

What juicy role will star actress Connie London play in the ongoing adventures of The Doctor and Julia?

And at the end of the world, just what use are a tourist map and a smug canary?

Chapter Two: Plan D from Outer Space!
Last we left our heroes, the planet was under attack by a fleet of war-mongering lizards! As a giant robot sentry counts down the remaining hours until the end of the world, the Doctor, Julia, and Connie must devise a plan to save everyone, with a just little dash of cinematographic magic sprinkled in for fun.

CAST
The Doctor … K. Woo
Julia Shahid … Fazia Rizvi
Connie London … Valina Cutler
Brick Thrustjaw … Joe J. Thomas
Stroheimberg … Justin Fife
DAVE… Alan Gordon
Warlord Kruger … Kayla Gill
Newton … Lisa Michaud
Tech … Justin Fife
Extra …. Kyle Borcz
Agamidae Sentry … Vince Stadon

Written by K. Woo & Vince Stadon
Directed by Kyle Borcz
Music by Kevin MacLeod
Doctor Who logo by John Callaghan
Art by K. Woo
Many thanks to freesound.org

Afternoon Tea Adventures‘ Doctor Who series is a free, not-for-profit fan production and is in no way associated with the British Broadcasting Corporation. It was created as a celebration of the series, without intent to supersede or infringe on existing copyrights or intellectual property. Doctor Who, the TARDIS, and other registered sounds and concepts remain property of the BBC.

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VO Business Posts! (New Menu)

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VO Business Posts! (New Menu)

All of the Business, Voice Acting, Studio, and Voice-Over advice onJoe’s Dump, in one place! See the top menu on the site for the new “VO Business” option!

Find out:

  • How to get into Voice Over
  • What equipment I use in the studio
  • Tricks in the Voice Acting world
  • Advice on running your VO Business
  • Funny Voice Acting stories
  • … And Much, Much More!!!

Over 80 posts to help you find your path in the amazing world of Voice Acting!!!

So, what are you waiting for? Just click the link below, or get there any time from the “VO Business” option on the top menu!

Joe’s Dump: VO Business Posts! (clicky clicky…)

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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VO and Tablets

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VO and Tablets

Many voice actors take a tablet into the booth to read and markup their copy.

But what if you could run your entire studio on a tablet?

Samsung S5E Tablet and Monitor: Joe's Dump

What you see in the above picture may be the future for home studios. At the bottom is a 10″ Android tablet. It’s connected to the top screen, a mouse, keyboard, external drive, microphones interface, mic and speakers.

It could run everything you need for a home recording studio. And it costs around $400.

In this test, I was running a Chrome browser with two tabs, a Google spreadsheet, a Microsoft Word document, and Lexis audio recording/editing software. Recording quality was the same as on my laptop.

So, what exactly makes this possible?

The tablet is a Samsung Galaxy Tab S5e – here are the specs:
OS: Android 9.0.
Display: 10.5in WQXGA Super AMOLED, 287ppi.
Processor: Qualcomm Snapdragon 670 Octa-core processor (2×2.0 GHz & 6×1.7 GHz)
Memory: 4/6GB.
Storage: 64/128GB + microSD up to 512GB.
Cameras: 13Mp rear, 8Mp front.
Ports: USB3.1 (Type C)
Plus! Very thin and light: just 5.5 mm thick, and weighs only 399 g (0.88 lb)

The USB-C port is an OTG (On-The-Go) type. This means it allows USB devices, such as USB flash drives, digital cameras, mice or keyboards, to be attached. Also microphones and speakers and screens. No drivers to install, or software to update. All I did was plug in a USB-C hub and everything worked.

The processor has 8 cores, and is pretty fast. The new version of this tablet (the S5) is expected to be even faster.

Battery life is 14+ hours, but you can also have it plugged in while you’re using it.

The final piece of the puzzle is the windows like interface on the big screen. That comes from Samsung. It’s called “Dex”, and is one of 4 modes on this tablet:

  1. Normal Tablet Mode (one app takes up the whole screen)
  2. Split-screen Mode (two apps share the screen equally)
  3. Pop-up Mode (one app appears in a pop-up window; any second app appears behind it, full screen)
  4. Dex Mode (full window and icon interface)

When you put all of this together, you can easily see the potential… and where we all may be headed.

I used the setup exclusively over the weekend, just to see how easy it was. It’s definitely good enough for auditions, or for the central component of a travel rig. To run a full home studio, I’d probably want better recording/editing software available. It may already be out there…

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

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Weeding Your Voice Acting Garden

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Weeding Your Voice Acting Garden

It’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day running of our businesses. Or to spend time dreaming about a possible future career. But Voice Acting, like all businesses, requires regular maintenance to ensure we’re operating at peak proficiency, not being wasteful, and still on the path to success.

To that end, I think it’s important to “Weed Your Voice Acting Garden”. Taking a wider view of where you’re headed and what might be standing in the way can help make the long journey to a career easier and more enjoyable.

Here are some areas to consider…

Weeding Yourself:
A clear view of yourself, your abilities and limitations, can be invaluable in a business where you are the product. Asking a few trusted friends or family members may help to identify key areas of potential improvement.

  • Speech Impediments:
    These may range from a minor annoyance such as sibilance to more severe speech issues. Best to get the help of a doctor or professional speech therapist to address them early in your career path.
  • Accents or Regional Dialects:
    A natural accent can be an advantage for local ads and work, but if you’d like to expand your range, this is an area to work on.
  • Health Issues (Physical and Mental):
    You’ve got to be healthy to be at your best, so if you have known issues, seek out a professional who can best put you on the road to a more healthy life.
  • Finances and Housing:
    The basics have to be taken care of for you to be able to build a solid career – even if it means putting voice acting on hold while you build up a reserve.
  • Relationships:
    Our friends, family and loved ones are the support net we all need to thrive, so resolve any issues as best you can to ensure your emotional security while you’re hard at work.

Weeding Associations:
Our associations with other industry people, companies, and groups are a key element in any business. Making sure you’re associated with ones that advance rather than impede your career can make everything run more smoothly.

  • Agents:
    Are you happy with your agent(s)? You should feel open to having a conversation with them if there are any issues. If you have one or more who aren’t working out, it may be time to move on.
  • Websites:
    Keep your personal website updated (you do have one, right?), and be sure that any other sites where you are listed are sites you’d be proud to be associated with. Otherwise, reconsider which ones are best for you and your reputation, and jettison the rest.
  • Groups:
    Voice acting groups can be a great source of information, support and camaraderie. However, if they’re full of ads or negativity, it may be best to trim those from your memberships.
  • Demos:
    Just like your personal website (you do have one, right?), your demos need to be kept up to date and show you at your best. Consider dropping any that are no longer relevant, or getting some new ones made to replace the older tired ones.
  • Genres:
    There are a slew of genres in the voice acting world. Although you may be interested in many of them, it may be best to take a hard look at which are working for you and your voice. The others will still be there if you’d like to pursue them, but that can be more of a back burner project.

Weeding Training:
Regular training keeps us sharp, but how much is too much? Every career and person is different, but it’s good to review how much of our time and money is spent on training… and if you’re still getting value from the investments.

  • Coaches:
    Having coaches for different specialty areas can help you advance more quickly. Be sure which ones line up with your current career path. Consider taking a break from those who are either not working out for you, or don’t match what you’d like to improve.
  • Classes:
    Much like coaches, classes can be addictive. Be picky which you’d really like to spend money and time on. If they can help you improve, great. Otherwise, it might be best to skip them.
  • Workouts:
    I attend a weekly workout group (although I do skip around a bit). Some of my friends even attend a few per week. Even if they are not a drain on your finances, you may want to think about if they’re the best use of your time. Less is more, sometimes.
  • Conferences:
    (old man voice) “IN MY DAY WE ONLY HAD ONE VOICE CONFERENCE EVERY TEN YEARS!!! AND THERE WEREN’T ANY PRIZES OR GIFTY BAGS!!! AND WE LIKED IT THAT WAY!!!” (off old man soap box)
    I get it. Conferences have a lot of great things. Getting a sampling of training. Meeting others in the Voice Acting industry. Seeing the latest toys. They can be a real boost for your career (and ego). But too much of a good thing isn’t always good. Conferences can be really expensive – especially on an actor’s budget. Look carefully at what you’re getting before you buy the tickets to the conference… and the plane… and the hotel… and the dinner… and the…
  • Equipment:
    (seriously, dude… do you *really* need 12 microphones?)

Conclusion:
Taking time out of our busy schedule may seem counter-intuitive, but when you keep your Voice Acting Garden weed free, it may not only grow better, but give you more space to breathe in.

Being There Garden Quote: Joe's Dump

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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