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Pink Lady [Eat A Lady] (parody of Tom Jones “She’s A Lady”)

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Pink Lady [Eat A Lady] (parody of Tom Jones “She’s A Lady”)

*** as heard on Dr. Demento! ***

A wholesome song about my favorite apple… or is it?

The reason the apple industry won’t hire Tom Jones.

A Triple Entendre Parody Song.

Audio:

      PinkLady_JoesDump

Video (with Closed Captions):

Singing and lyrics by Joe J Thomas
Copyright 2021, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not A Quinn-Martin Production.

~~~ Lyrics: ~~~
Pink Lady [Eat A Lady] (parody of Tom Jones “She’s A Lady”)
Singing and lyrics by Joe J Thomas

When I don’t know what I want, feeling hungry, feeling gaunt after dinner.
There is something in my place that I stick into my face that is a winner.
I eat a lady! Whoa whoa whoa, Eat a lady!
Talkin’ about a Pink Lady. And that lady tastes fine.
~~~
I might have her in a pie, lookin’ yummy when she’s fried with something saucy
She is crunchy and she’s sweet, such a high fiber treat, her skin is glossy
I eat a lady! Whoa whoa whoa, Eat a lady!
Talkin’ about a Pink Lady. And that lady tastes fine.
~~~
When I’m at the supermarket know I always choose her
Always treat her with respect cause I don’t wanna bruise her
Sometimes when we get back home I put her in a juicer
She’s so versatile she could fill a whole buffet. Hey, hey, hey!
When I pop her in my mouth then I know what she’s about. She’s so delicious.
She got vitamins A and C, Riboflavin helps me see. She’s so nutritious.
I eat a lady! Whoa whoa whoa, Eat a lady!
Talkin’ about a Pink Lady. And that lady tastes fine.
~~~
Yeah yeah yeah! Eat a Lady! Whoa whoa whoa! Eat a Lady!
Listen to me. I eat a Lady. And that lady tastes fine.
Yeah yeah yeah! Eat a Lady! Talkin’ about a Pink Lady.
Whoa whoa whoa! And that lady, oh that lady tastes fine…

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Imagine – John Lennon (Joe’s Bassment)

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Joe's Bassment Logo

Imagine – John Lennon (Joe’s Bassment)

How low can Joe go?
Cover Versions of Popular Songs in the Key of Bass

Welcome back to Joe’s Bassment, Where I sing a popular song in a lower key…

This week, I’m covering “Imagine” by John Lennon

At first, I tried it a full octave lower, but that sounded a *tad* too low.

So the final version is 4 half steps lower instead. Enjoy!

      Imagine - John Lennon (Joe's Bassment: Joe J Thomas)

Music Backing Soundtrack: Ryohei Kanayama (http://www.goldmine1969.com)

~~~ Lyrics: ~~~
Imagine by John Lennon
– – – – – –
Imagine there’s no heaven
It’s easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people living for today
Imagine there’s no countries
It isn’t hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people living life in peace, you
You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope some day you’ll join us
And the world will be as one
Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people sharing all the world, you
You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope some day you’ll join us
And the world will be as one

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

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We Three Elvis! (Joe’s Bassment)

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We Three Elvis! (Joe’s Bassment)

How low can Joe go?
Cover Versions of Popular Songs in the Key of Bass

Normally on Joe’s Bassment, I sing a popular song in a lower key… But not this week!

I’ve got 3 Elvis ballads, including one for Christmas!

      Elvis: Blue Christmas (Joe's Bassment: Joe J Thomas)

      Elvis: Can't Help Falling In Love (Joe's Bassment: Joe J Thomas)

      Elvis: Teddy Bear (Joe's Bassment: Joe J Thomas)

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

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Hero Justice! (Pendant Seminar)

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Hero Justice!

PENDANT PRODUCTIONS PROUDLY PRESENTS:
Seminar Episode 90: A Time To Seek And A Time To Lose…

When you need help, sometimes it comes from the places you least expect it.
Featuring “Avatar” by Lisa N. Michaud and “Hero Justice” by Joe J. Thomas!

(my story is the second half, but listen to the whole episode 😉 )

Episode Audio:

      Seminar90master

Commentary Audio:

      Seminar90commentary

Transcript available at pendantaudio.com (click here).

Release Date: December 11, 2019 Run Time: 33:09

~~~ Artwork (click each for full size) ~~~

~~~ Backstory ~~~

It all started with a beard…

I had grown a weird goatee and mustache combo (see SightLine’s photo), and decided to have some fun shaving half of each off. Then I photoshopped the laser eyes and a destroyed city. A few months later, I did the Genie photo on a whim. Then I found an old superhero mask (Bellyman), that I used for Brick Red.

So, armed with three odd pictures I did what anyone would do: I made a fake movie poster.

After that, it was just a matter of writing a story to go with it. Yeah, I do everything backwards.

Next up: Pitching the idea to Marvel and DC 😉

(wish me luck…)

~~~ Credits ~~~

Seminar Episode 90: A Time To Seek And A Time To Lose…

Featuring the voice talents of Kathryn Pryde as Alice, Dan Foster as Alex and Thomas, and Aiden Rudd as Zerash.

In “Avatar,” Bare Schacht was Soo, Jake Philips was Smith, Jack Pevyhouse was LeBlanc Dave Morgan was Prakesh, and Jess Herring was Jones. The story was written by Lisa N. Michaud.

In “Hero Justice”, Joel Nisbitt was Senior FBI Agent, Joshua Zedicker was Junior FBI Agent, Cindy Woods was Alice Azure, Russ Gold was Bond-Zero, and Joe J. Thomas was Carl Calderon and the Heroes. The story was written by Joe J. Thomas.

This episode was directed by VC Morrison and assistant-directed by Samantha Reed. The wrapper script and story were written by Kathryn Pryde, and the shorts and wrapper were edited by Jeffrey Bridges.

Music featured in this episode include the following: Hero Justice Theme Song by Joe J. Thomas, additional music and Seminar theme were written by VC Morrison, produced by Pendant Productions.

Seminar co-created by Kathryn Pryde and Jeffrey Bridges
Copyright 2019 Pendant Productions

Pendant Audio: Seminar – Also Available on (clicky-clicky):
Apple Podcasts/iTunes
Spotify
Google Play
Stitcher
Pendant Podcast feed (xml)
Pendant Show Page (Seminar)

Where to find Pendant Audio (more clicky-clicky):
Pendant Audio (main site)
Pendant on Yahoo
Pendant on Twitter
Pendant on Facebook
Pendant on Tumblr
Pendant on YouTube

Thanks for listening!

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Joe’s Bassment: If I Didn’t Care (Nutcracker!)

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Joe’s Bassment: If I Didn’t Care (Nutcracker!)

How low can Joe go?
Cover Versions of Popular Songs in the Key of Bass

Normally on Joe’s Bassment, I sing a popular song in a lower key… But not this week!

I’m taking the “Joe’s Dump Nutcracker Challenge!” and doing this song in it’s original key… Including the highest note I’ve ever sung!

Dedicated to my lovely wife, here’s “If I Didn’t Care” by The Ink Spots and The Platters:

Enjoy!

      If I Didn't Care - JoeActor - ThanksGiving 2019

If I Didn’t Care (Joe’s Bassment: Joe J Thomas)

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
“If I Didn’t Care”
Cover version by: Joe J Thomas
Original by: The Ink Spots
If I didn’t care more than words can say
If I didn’t care would I feel this way?
If this isn’t love then why do I thrill?
And what makes my head go ’round and ’round
While my heart stands still?

If I didn’t care would it be the same?
Would my ev’ry prayer begin and end with just your name?
And would I be sure that this is love beyond compare?
Would all this be true if I didn’t care for you?

Optional… Monologue:
If I didn’t care honey child, mo’ than words can say. If I didn’t care baby, would I feel this way? Darlin’ if this isn’t love, then why do I thrill so much? What is it that makes my head go ’round and ’round while my heart just stands still so much?

If I didn’t care would it be the same?
Would my ev’ry prayer begin and end with just your name?
And would I be sure that this is love beyond compare?
Would all this be true if I didn’t care for you?

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

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We’re Shopping At The Mall

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We’re Shopping At The Mall

Parody of “The Winner Takes It All” by Abba and Carla Bruni

Are you a husband? Have you been dragged to the mall for “The Shopping”? If you’ve been there, this song’s for you…

Now airing on The Dr. Demento Show!

…and available for download and purchase at The FuMP!!!

      WereShoppingAtTheMall_JoesDump

Written and Sung by: Joe J Thomas
Copyright 2019, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All rights reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.
Run time: 3:11

~~~ Lyrics: ~~~
I don’t understand… What you want to buy here
Purses, clothes and shoes
Any way I lose
I’m carrying the bags… Anything for you, dear
Oh my aching back
I think it’s out of whack
We’re Shopping at the Mall
My wife just bought it all
It won’t fit in the car
I need to find a bar
Then we got some lunch… Something from the food court
I wanted Peiking Duck
But I was out of luck
The burger they served me… Wasn’t of the meat sort
It smelled of month-old grease
Could we just go home please?
And then she turned to me
As happy as can be
That’s when I knew for sure
That I must still endure
We’re Shopping at the Mall
My wife just bought it all
I’d better call the man
To bring a U-Haul van
Does she know I’m here? Why is she still shopping?
Maybe I should speak
My legs are getting weak
We’re never going home… There is just no stopping
Have I lost my mind?
Or just lost track of time?
My credit card’s aflame
I can’t recall my name
How long have we been here
It really seems like years
The room is spinning round
I tumble to the ground
The medics heard my call
We’re Shopping at the Mall
We’re Shopping at the Mall
mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm
We’re Shopping at the Mall
We’re Shopping at the Mall

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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DREAMNASIUM: Antiope in Black

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DREAMNASIUM: Antiope in Black

PENDANT PRODUCTIONS PROUDLY PRESENTS:
Dreamnasium: Pendant Audio Drama
“Dreamnasium” is an anthology show adapting the short stories of Geoffrey Thorne, full of sci-fi, fantasy, mystery and intrigue!.

(listen to parts 1 and 2 below…)

DREAMNASIUM, episode 7 – “Antiope in Black” part 1
Flint has spent her life in the shadows, but she’s about to discover she’s not the only thing lurking in the dark!

      Dreamnasium07Antiope1master

Transcript available at pendantaudio.com (click here).
Release Date: September 9, 2019 Run Time: 17:18

DREAMNASIUM, episode 8 – “Antiope in Black” part 2
Flint learns the truth about her mission and Baba Yaga’s machinations!

      Dreamnasium08Antiope2master

Transcript available at pendantaudio.com (click here).
Release Date: September 16, 2019 Run Time: 14:06

Also Available on (clicky-clicky):
Apple Podcasts/iTunes
Spotify
Google Play
Stitcher
Pendant Podcast feed (xml)
Pendant Show Page (Dreamnasium)

Featuring the voice talents of:
Barbra Dillon as Flint
Jack Calk as Mattock
Channe Nolen as Theta
Pete Milan as Hewdon
Jessie Moore as Brogrym
Joe J. Thomas as Skiff Control
Marte Brengle as Baba Yaga
Philip Weber as Meldrick
and Melissa Autumn Hearne as The Muse

Written by Jeffrey & Susan Bridges, based on the original short story
“Antiope in Black” by Geoffrey Thorne

Dreamnasium theme by Vincent Morrison
All other music by Josh Molen at TheTunePeddler.com

Directed by Paul Brueggemann

Produced by Pendant Productions
Executive Producers Jeffrey & Susan Bridges
This Production is copyright 2019 Geoffrey Thorne and Pendant Productions

Where to find Pendant Audio (more clicky-clicky):
Pendant Audio (main site)
Pendant on Yahoo
Pendant on Twitter
Pendant on Facebook
Pendant on Tumblr
Pendant on YouTube

Thanks for listening!

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DREAMNASIUM: Red/Shift

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DREAMNASIUM: Red/Shift

PENDANT PRODUCTIONS PROUDLY PRESENTS:
Dreamnasium: Red/Shift
“Dreamnasium” is an anthology show adapting the short stories of Geoffrey Thorne, full of sci-fi, fantasy, mystery and intrigue!.

(listen to parts 1 and 2 below…)

DREAMNASIUM, episode 5 – “Red/Shift” part 1
A serial killer is moving through the Aresian night, but someone’s tracking his every move!

      Dreamnasium05RedShift1master

Transcript available at pendantaudio.com (click here).
Release Date: August 19, 2019 Run Time: 25:04

DREAMNASIUM, episode 6 – “Red/Shift” part 2
Red and Amina engage in a battle of wits, as Elzin closes in on her target!

      Dreamnasium06RedShift2master

Transcript available at pendantaudio.com (click here).
Release Date: August 26, 2019 Run Time: 26:22

Also Available on (clicky-clicky):
Apple Podcasts/iTunes
Spotify
Google Play
Stitcher
Pendant Podcast feed (xml)
Pendant Show Page (Dreamnasium)

Featuring the voice talents of:
Channe Nolen as Amina Fisk-Okker
Joe J. Thomas as Red
Kristen Bays as Gio
Pete Milan as Breminsky
Darian Lindle as Cynda
Barbra Dillon as the Computer Voice and the Tube Announcer
Kathryn Pryde as Elzin
Jessie Moore as Ocelano
Jack Calk as the Server
Philip Weber as Liam the Hologram
Marte Brengle as Kwai
Perry Whittle as the Bravo
and Melissa Autumn Hearne as The Muse

Written by Jeffrey & Susan Bridges, based on the original short story
“Red/Shift” by Geoffrey Thorne

Dreamnasium theme by Vincent Morrison
All other music by Josh Molen at TheTunePeddler.com

Directed by Landon Beall (part 1)
Directed by Kathryn Pryde (part 2)

Produced by Pendant Productions
Executive Producers Jeffrey & Susan Bridges
This Production is copyright 2019 Geoffrey Thorne and Pendant Productions

Where to find Pendant Audio (more clicky-clicky):
Pendant Audio (main site)
Pendant on Yahoo
Pendant on Twitter
Pendant on Facebook
Pendant on Tumblr
Pendant on YouTube

Thanks for listening!

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DREAMNASIUM: The Dame Wore a Tesseract

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DREAMNASIUM: The Dame Wore a Tesseract

PENDANT PRODUCTIONS PROUDLY PRESENTS:
Dreamnasium: Pendant Audio Drama
“Dreamnasium” is an anthology show adapting the short stories of Geoffrey Thorne, full of sci-fi, fantasy, mystery and intrigue!.

(listen to parts 1 and 2 below…)

DREAMNASIUM, episode 3 – “The Dame Wore a Tesseract,” part 1
It was a day like any other for private investigator Harris Gray, until the Dame walked in and turned his world upside-down!

      Dreamnasium03Dame1master

Transcript available at pendantaudio.com (click here).
Release Date: July 29, 2019 Run Time: 24:33

DREAMNASIUM, episode 4 – “The Dame Wore a Tesseract,” part 2
Just when Harris Gray thought he had it all figured out, he learns that people aren’t always who they seem to be!

      Dreamnasium04Dame2master

Transcript available at pendantaudio.com (click here).
Release Date: August 5, 2019 Run Time: 18:41

Also Available on (clicky-clicky):
Apple Podcasts/iTunes
Spotify
Google Play
Stitcher
Pendant Podcast feed (xml)
Pendant Show Page (Dreamnasium)

Featuring the voice talents of:
Pete Milan as Harris Gray
Kristen Bays as the Dame
Perry Whittle as Maxie Sparks
Joe J. Thomas as Belanoff
Jack Calk as Cranzetti
Philip Weber as Butch
Jessie Moore as Dyson
Philip Weber as Butch
Darian Lindle as the Operator
Susan Bridges as Maguane
Marte Brengle as the Bartender
Kathryn Pryde as the Computer Voice
and Melissa Autumn Hearne as The Muse

Written by Jeffrey & Susan Bridges, based on the original short story
“The Dame Wore a Tesseract” by Geoffrey Thorne

Dreamnasium theme by Vincent Morrison
All other music by Josh Molen at TheTunePeddler.com

Directed by Dave Morgan

Produced by Pendant Productions
Executive Producers Jeffrey & Susan Bridges
This Production is copyright 2019 Geoffrey Thorne and Pendant Productions

Where to find Pendant Audio (more clicky-clicky):
Pendant Audio (main site)
Pendant on Yahoo
Pendant on Twitter
Pendant on Facebook
Pendant on Tumblr
Pendant on YouTube

Thanks for listening!

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DREAMNASIUM: The Lingering Grief of Twilight

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DREAMNASIUM: The Lingering Grief of Twilight

PENDANT PRODUCTIONS PROUDLY PRESENTS:
Dreamnasium: Pendant Audio Drama
“Dreamnasium” is an anthology show adapting the short stories of Geoffrey Thorne, full of sci-fi, fantasy, mystery and intrigue!.

(listen to parts 1 and 2 below…)

DREAMNASIUM, episode 1 – “The Lingering Grief of Twilight,” part 1
Lady Justice, protector of Earth, rises to meet a new challenge as she struggles with events from her past!

      Dreamnasium01Twilight1master

Transcript available at pendantaudio.com (click here).
Release Date: July 8, 2019 Run Time: 21:12

DREAMNASIUM, episode 2 – “The Lingering Grief of Twilight,” part 2
Lady Justice battles for the fate of earth, as the startling origin of her adversaries is revealed!

      Dreamnasium02Twilight2master

Transcript available at pendantaudio.com (click here).
Release Date: July 15, 2019 Run Time: 18:48

Also Available on (clicky-clicky):
Apple Podcasts/iTunes
Spotify
Google Play
Stitcher
Pendant Podcast feed (xml)
Pendant Show Page (Dreamnasium)

Featuring the voice talents of:
Darian Lindle as Lady Justice
Philip Weber as Captain Farragut
Kathryn Pryde as Chaplain Broek
Perry Whittle as Eos
Channe Nolen as Magistrate Vugin
Barbra Dillon as Eolis
and Melissa Autumn Hearne as The Muse

Written by Jeffrey & Susan Bridges, based on the original short story
“The Lingering Grief of Twilight” by Geoffrey Thorne

Dreamnasium theme by Vincent Morrison
All other music by Josh Molen at TheTunePeddler.com

Directed by Kathryn Pryde

Produced by Pendant Productions
Executive Producers Jeffrey & Susan Bridges
This Production is copyright 2019 Geoffrey Thorne and Pendant Productions

Where to find Pendant Audio (more clicky-clicky):
Pendant Audio (main site)
Pendant on Yahoo
Pendant on Twitter
Pendant on Facebook
Pendant on Tumblr
Pendant on YouTube

Thanks for listening!

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