How The Grimch Stopped Sessions

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How The Grimch Stopped Sessions


A Xmas Tale for all of the Voice Actors in VO-Ville 😉

—— Script ——
~~~
How The Grimch Stopped Sessions
A Xmas Tale for all of the Voice Actors in VO-Ville 😉
~~~
News Anchor (fade in): …and I’m your anchor Joe J Thomas wishing you a Happy Christmas 1966. Be sure to stay tuned for our new special, up next on participating stations.
(station id): CBS presents this program in color.
Announcer (music under):
How The Grimch Stopped Sessions
Brought to you by the fine cheese food like products of Krapf.
If you think it kinda might taste like cheese, it’s probably Krapf.
Singers: K.R.A.P.F.!
Narrator:
All the VOs down in VO-Ville liked sessions a lot
But the Grimch, who lived just outside VO-Ville, did not
To look at the Grimch you’d see such a sight
He spells it with an “M” to avoid copyright
Everything one and two that he ventures to do
Makes ear-splitting sounds from wig to wazoo.
One wish would make the VOs day such a joy
A nice quiet time to record with their toys
They talk to their Neumann, Sennheiser and Rode
From their foam padded mass vinyl boxes enclosed
They speak to producers and clients and such
Who direct them and coach them and pay them so much
But the Grimch doesn’t like any of this
He listens, or not, then says with a hiss
“These sessions are all a big bother and fuss”
“I’ll make so much noise that those VOs will all cuss!”
He turns on his bamhammer, blowwinder and boomer
Starts up his highscreamer, sireener, and vroomzoomer
The Grimch has noisewhiners that pierce through the heads
Of all the quiet VOs still sleeping in beds
Song:
You’re a loud one, Mr Grimch.
You’re a noisy woisey fool
You’ve got blowy, go-ey gadgets and a load of bangy tools, Mr Grimch!
Living next door to you is a 24 hour construction zone!
Narrator:
The Grimch did his worst, then turned for a look
The VOs hadn’t stopped, with new jobs that they’d booked
And a new thought appeared in his loud Grimchy head
Perhaps instead of such clatter there’s something better instead.
Maybe a rake or a broom would be nicer than blowing…
Then the Grimch said “Nah!” and continued his mowing!
(music to fade out)
—— fin! ——

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Joe’s Bassment: You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch

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Joe’s Bassment: You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch

How low can Joe go?
Cover Versions of Popular Songs in the Key of Bass

As a Bass/Baritone singer, there’s a lot of songs I’d like to sing that are just too high in their original key. So… Welcome to Joe’s Bassment! Where I sing a popular song in a lower key.

This week’s song is “You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch” originally sung by Thurl Ravenscroft (also the voice of Tony the Tiger). It’s already plenty low enough, so I’m singing in the original key.

Enjoy!

You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch (JoeActor cover)

      You're A Mean One Mr Grinch (Joe's Bassment: Joe J Thomas)

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
“You’re A Mean One, Mr. Grinch”
Cover version by: Joe J Thomas
Original by: Thurl Ravenscroft
You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch. You really are a heel
You’re as cuddly as a cactus. You’re as charming as an eel, Mr. Grinch
You’re a bad banana with a greasy black peel
You’re a monster, Mr. Grinch. Your heart’s an empty hole
Your brain is full of spiders. You’ve got garlic in your soul, Mr Grinch
I wouldn’t touch you with a, Thirty-nine and a half foot pole
You’re a vile one, Mr. Grinch. You have termites in your smile
You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile, Mr Grinch
Given the choice between the two of you, I’d take the seasick crocodile
You’re a foul one, Mr. Grinch. You’re a nasty wasty skunk
Your heart is full of unwashed socks, Your soul is full of gunk, Mr Grinch
The three words that best describe you, Are as follows, and I quote
Stink, Stank, Stunk
You’re a rotter Mr Grinch. You’re the king of sinful sots
Your heart’s a dead tomato splotched with moldy purple spots, Mr Grinch
Your soul is an appalling dump heap, Overflowing with the most disgraceful
Assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable, Mangled up in tangled up knots
You nauseate me, Mr Grinch. With a nauseous super nos
You’re a crooked jerky jockey and. You drive a crooked hoss, Mr Grinch
You’re a three-decker sauerkraut, And toadstool sandwich, With arsenic sauce

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

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