the Weird Al Time Machine Polka!
Ever had an idea for a parody song, only to find that Weird Al had already written it? Finally! The true story is revealed in this original Polka by Joe J Thomas (of Joe’s Dump)
Original Song!
Midi, Lyrics and Singing by Joe J Thomas
Copyright 2026, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not A Quinn-Martin Production.
~~~ Lyrics ~~~
the Weird Al Time Machine Polka!
(an original song by Joe J Thomas of Joe’s Dump)
— Lyrics —
While writing down a song in 1979
Weird Al showed up and he blew my mind
Seems he had just invented a new time machine
He grabbed my music then he fled the scene
Astounding as it was it’s only just the start
Funny music stirred deep in my heart
Weird Al followed me thru time and space
He’d steal my music and off he’d race
Grabbed My Bologna and he’d Ride The Bus
Eat It Like A Surgeon not a bit of fuss
Yoda was Addicted To Spuds you see
Stole my Lasagna, got too Fat for me
Could I tell police about these crimes?
Who’d believe a thief who goes back in time?
I need a solution to this X-Files case
Or at least some way to keep him outta my place.
Try as I might I just couldn’t win
Around every corner there was more of him
When I sat down to write he was looking on
From late at night till the crack of dawn
Paranoia in my noggin it was on the rise
While writing at a diner he’d eat my fries
Would I go insane? Was there no escape?
There wasn’t any more of this that I could take!
You must believe me! There’s so many Weird Al things you need to know!
I’ll never stop him! Now he’s even got his very own television show!
Last time he came here, something fell from his pocket onto the floor…
A recording of him, let’s give it a play and hear some more!
I’ve rewired this old clock radio into a bona-fide Time Machine!
Now I can go back to any point in history, any time I want to!
I’ll just use my invention to go back in time…
Come to think of it, I can re-do anything I want!
That’s kinda cool, huh?
Oh, this’ll be great! Uh, Ok!
Now I finally had him, evidence in hand
Soon the world would know about Weird Al’s plan
I’d go to the press and I’d spill the beans
Not sure what that phrase about legumes even means
Al can’t deny that he took my stuff
The gloves were off. It’s time to get tough
Al showed up and I played the tape
He stood and listened with his mouth agape
Then Weird Al told me it was all a dream
And nothing that had happened was as it seemed
So he gave me a sip of his chicken soup
But as we were talking my eyelids drooped
The next thing that I knew I woke up in bed
Was it all some weirdness coming from my head
And when I got up something hit the ground
It was Weird Al’s tape that I had found!
– (fin)
All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com