Secret Plot Secrets!

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Secret Plot Secrets!

Secret

Every movie.
Every TV show.
Every book, play, musical and miniseries.

They’re all exactly the same.

In every story, there’s a secret.

Someone
or something
or some group
knows it,
but for some reason
isn’t letting anyone else know.

Maybe it’s money, or love, or a super power, or weapon, or a miracle cure, or a dark past, or a buried body, or even knowledge of whatever.

Then there’s a bunch of story in the middle.

Eventually, the secret is revealed.

The end.

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

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Persistence

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Persistence by Joe's Dump

Persistence:
We Aspire to it in Ourselves,
Admire it in Our Friends,
and Abhor it in Our Foes.

But when is it appropriate?

As the saying goes, nothing feels better than when you stop banging your head against the wall.

Sometimes, knowing when to quit can be just as important as knowing when to push on in spite of the odds.

Only you can make the decision on if you should persevere or throw in the towel. Take the advice of trusted loved ones, friends and mentors into account. If they’re all saying the same thing, maybe it’s time to listen.

If you’re stubborn like me, that can be the hardest part.

Besides, that wall will always be there. Maybe just a bit of a break to clear your head…

Adapt, Adopt and Improve,
Joe

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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The Path of the (Yodeling) Pickle

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The Path of the (Yodeling) Pickle

*** Updated June 4, 2018: The Pickle on The McPhee Podcast! ***

*** UPDATED 4/30/2018 STEPHEN FRY TWEET! (at the bottom) ***

Yodelling Pickle by Archie McPhee

      Joe's Yodel (Joe J Thomas)

How did learning to yodel lead to Weird Al, George Takei, The Today Show and Gorillaz?

It all began in 2006, with a contest by the Seattle novelty company Archie McPhee.

They were searching for a yodel.

I was a singer, but had never yodeled. So I consulted the internet and found YodelCourse.org

After some free lessons, I submitted my contest entry and forgot about it.

… until 100 rubber chickens showed up on my doorstep!
Archie McPhee - Deluxe Rubber Chicken

I’d won the contest, and the prize was 100 rubber chickens, plus my yodel in a toy.

Now, the first toy (Feb, 2007) was not the Yodeling Pickle, but instead was the “Remote Control Hopping Yodeling Lederhosen” (with a knockwurst remote, of course):
Remote Control, Hopping, Yodeling Lederhosen

Then in April of 2007 came the now famous “Yodeling Pickle”:
Yodelling Pickle by Archie McPhee

In December of 2008, the Today Show with Cathy Lee and Hoda reviewed the pickle:
Yodeling Pickle - Kathy Lee Gifford
Kathy Lee Gifford sang with it and said “Nothin’ beats the Singin’ Pickle!”

Sales of the Yodeling Pickle were great, and soon they came out with other yodeling products (more on those below).

On December 26, 2010, the Grammy winning band “Gorillaz” album “The Fall” featured the yodel on track 15: “Seattle Yodel”:
Gorillaz - The Fall - Front Cover

You can download the whole album for free at: Gorillaz – The Fall (at Archive.Org)

      Gorillaz - Seattle Yodel

 
On August 5, 2011, Archie McPhee released their own video of the track:

On March 26, 2013: Archie McPhee announced “International Yodeling Pickle Day“!!!

On May 22, 2013: George Takei posted his comedic review of the Yodeling Pickle on Amazon:

My latest Wednsday Weview. This item was NOT what I thought it was. At all. http://amzn.to/14Rz5aU

Posted by George Takei on Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Yodeling Pickle - George Takei + Weird Al Reviews

And on June 17, 2015: Weird Al Yankovic tweeted this (along with a review on Amazon)
“You can have my electronic yodeling pickle WHEN YOU PRY IT FROM MY COLD, DEAD FINGERS.”
Yodeling Pickle - Weird Al Yankovic

On June 2, 2017: Gizmodo posted an article on Gorillaz and the Seattle Yodel Track:

On July 16, 2017, George Takei included the Yodeling Pickle in a video review from Knowable:

Weird Products From Amazon

Because who couldn't use a yodeling pickle? via Knowable

Posted by George Takei on Sunday, July 16, 2017

And on April 30, 2018: Stephen Fry tweeted:
 
“I don’t know what a Yodelling Pickle is, all I know is that I want one. And in an instant absolute and foot-stamping Veruca Salt kind of way”
Yodeling Pickle - Stephen Fry Tweet 20180430

New! June 4, 2018: The Pickle on The McPhee Podcast!
Archie McPhee – PODCAST EP 6: THE YODELLING PICKLE AND THE GORILLA(Z)

Other Yodeling products from Archie McPhee:

Gerkin for a living,
Joe “Yodelling Pickle” Thomas

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Things I’ve Never Seen

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Things I’ve Never Seen

With all the hubbub about Game of Thrones, I thought I’d come clean: There’s a lot of things I’ve never seen.

Sure, I meant to see a lot of them, just never got around to it.

Here’s my list:

  • Game of Thrones
  • Any full episode of Seinfeld
  • The last episode of Mash
  • Any full movie from The Godfather series
  • Breaking Bad
  • The last season of True Blood
  • All of Doctor Zhivago
  • Most of the Harry Potter movies
  • The Hobbit movies (except for the bad animation one)
  • Raging Bull
  • Fight Club
  • All of Metropolis

Now it’s your turn! What haven’t you seen?

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Do Your F-ing Job!

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Do Your F-ing Job!

*** Warning: This is an official rant. If you were looking for something non-ranty, please click elsewhere… You have been warned! ***

Maybe it’s too much time on hold with customer service.

Maybe it’s too much time in traffic with incompetent drivers.

Maybe it’s unqualified people in public office.

Whatever it is, I really just want people to Do Your F-ing Job!

Seriously, how hard is it?

If you’re sitting in the front of a line of cars at a red light, your job is to go when the light turns green. If you’re anywhere else in the line, your job is to go when the car in front of you moves. Do Your F-ing Job!

If you’re working in government, your job is to represent the needs and wants of your constituents, and to keep the country as your top priority. Do Your F-ing Job!

If you’re a customer service person, your job is have a deep understanding of the subject your’re supposed to be helping with, and to answer promptly and courteously. Do Your F-ing Job!

If you’re an actor, your job is to know your character, script and to show up on time and be professional. Do Your F-ing Job!

Writers… Write! Plumbers… Plumb! Painters… Paint! Creatives… Create!

I’m convinced the world would be a much better place and we’d all be happier if only You and I would…

Do Your F-ing Job!

(steps off soapbox. decompresses from rant.)

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Stapler in the High Castle?

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Stephen Root: Character Actor

Stephen Root - Milton + Abendsen

While watching season 2 of “The Man in the High Castle” on Amazon, we finally got to see the man himself. Abendson is his name, but I immediately recognized him as the same actor who played Milton in “Office Space”… Whoa! Mind blown!

So, I looked him up on IMDB. This guy has an admirable career. He’s voiced Bill and Buck on “King of the Hill”, was Chode in “Tripping the Rift”, and Killer Croc and Penguin on “Batman: The Brave and the Bold”. And that’s just his VO work.

He was also in “O Brother, Where Art Thou” as the Radio Station Man. Plus many many more roles…

Amazing work, and worth a look. If you don’t know Stephen Root, take a look at his IMDB page here:
IMDB: Stephen Root

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Pebble and Palm

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Pebble and Palm

What happens when companies disappear?
Pebble and Palm
On Dec 7, Pebble (trailblazer in smartwatches) made the announcement that they were closing shop and had been bought out by Fitbit (maker of fitness bands).

It seems they were leaving their loyal KickStarter supporters and customers out in the cold. No more Pebble watches would be sold, and all support and warranties were null and void.

Quite a slap in the face.

Don’t get me wrong – I own a Pebble Time and a Fitbit Charge. Wearing one on each wrist has always been kind of a pain. I was secretly hoping that the technologies would merge, but really didn’t expect it to happen like this. At this point it’s completely up in the air as to what Fitbit will do with the intellectual property they’ve purchased.

Although I hope for the best, it’s also good to learn from experience.

Palm was another company that I had been a loyal customer to since nearly their start. I owned their innovative PDA products, and even bought the phones when they seemed to be evolving. The last phone they made was truly an elegant thing of beauty. Small, stylish, functional.

Then Palm was bought out by HP. HP proceeded to fumble the ball for a few months before scrapping everything that was Palm. Hardware, Software – Everything. Another disappointing end to a very promising start-up.

I’m not really sure what the lesson is here, if any. But it is interesting to note that innovation by itself is not always rewarded with success. For that matter, hard work isn’t any guarantee either.

Perhaps the key is in The Round Table Club‘s motto: “Adapt, Adopt, Improve

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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New Greek Gods

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New Greek Gods

The ancient Greeks were pretty with it for their time. They had a god for everything! And their gods were relatable, with human flaws.

But, over time, they’ve fallen out of the lime light.

SO! It’s time to update the old pantheon of Greek gods. Make them more relevant to today’s mortal world. Here are my suggestions for some New Greek Gods!

guyseidon
Guyseidon: God of pickup lines

“If I said thee hadst a good body, wouldst thou hold it against me?”

argumenon
Argumenon: God of bickering

“What’s THAT supposed to mean? (… and so it begins)”

borborygmus
Borborygmus: God of flatulence

“Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!! Somebody crack a window… Oops, I already did!”

sporticus
Sporticus: God of exercise

“C’mon! Those glutes ain’t gonna squat themselves! Twenty more!”

noteus
Noteus: God of to-do lists

“Hmmm… Where’s that post-it with the list of other lists of things I have to do?!?!?”

googlio
Googlio: God of internet searches

“Done! Finally finished that wiki for Etruscan Shrews.”

whackus
Whackus: God of porn (son of Googlio)

“Uh, dad? Can you give me the keys to the internet?”

sneuss
Sneuss: God of naps and children’s stories

“Are you sleepy in your head? Are you napping in a bed? If you’re snoozing on the floor, be sure to close that kitchen door!”

haties
Haties: God of social media outrage (brother of Argumenon)

“WHAT!?!?!? YOU CAN’T HAVE AN OPINION ON MY POST!?!?! HOW DARE YOU!!! [block] [unfriend] [unfollow]”

fibrosia
Fibrosia: God of colon health

“I’m all set. Just gotta eat a bushel of oats, three times a day.”

appyolo
AppYolo: God of Phone Entertainment and Whatever

“So, while you’re playing Apptastic’s Bird Smasher 2, just use two fingers and make an upside-down V gesture, and your tablet will order your favorite pizza.”

parentheus
Parentheus: God of helicopter parents and unnecessary worrying

“Ok, little Tinder. We’re at your school. Make sure the Door Guard has your hand before you unbuckle your safety belt. I’ll be right outside in the car in case you feel insecure about anything. Have fun at college, dear!”

medius
Medius: God of cable news and conspiracy theories

“Polls show that most people think polls are unreliable.”

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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TakesCaring

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TakesCaring

Universe

Hey there… This is The Universe calling.

But you can just call me “U”.

Just wanted to talk a bit about Thanksgiving. I understand some of you folks celebrate it this time of year.

That’s cool. Being thankful is a good thing. Makes you stop and appreciate what you’ve got.

I’d like to suggest a new holiday, though…

I call it “TakesCaring“.

Instead of just giving thanks, it’s a bit more proactive. Focuses on action rather than introspection.

First off, “Take care of yourself” (great phrase, btw).
Gotta make sure you’re in tip-top shape, mental, physical, and emotional – so that you’ve got the energy to do more. Be more. See more.

Next, “Take care of your neighbor“.
And I don’t just mean the guy next door! You know, your neighbor in the wider sense. Each other. Family and friends, sure, but strangers too. It’s like a party and everyone’s invited!

Last, “Take care of your world“.
I’ll look out for all the other planets for now, but could I get you to pitch in a bit more on Planet Earth? It’s your home, after all. You wouldn’t trash your house, would you? Take a little time to give back to Mother Earth. I promise, she’ll take care of you and your friends much better if she knows you’re on her side.

Anywho, that’s what TakesCaring is all about.

Hope it becomes a thing.

Gotta run – lots more planets and people to hit up with this idea (billions and billions, as the saying goes)

Take care, now, y’hear!

Sincerely,
“U”

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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