Copyright 2019, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.
~~~ Lyrics ~~~
Sixty Candles
by: Joe J Thomas
(parody of Sixteen Candles by The Crests)
Happy birthday. You look kind of shaky.
Oh, you are so old.
Sixty candles. What a frightening sight.
Because they’re setting your house alight (set your house alight)
Blow out the candles. Dial nine one one.
This birthday party is no longer fun. (it’s no longer fun)
You’re over sixty. (sixty)
And on the senior scene. (senior scene)
You’ve got pension. And dentures.
And membership in AARP.
(AARP, yeah)
Sixty candles set your house aglow.
Now ash is falling from the sky like snow. (from the sky like snow)
All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com
by Joe J Thomas of Joe’s Dump
(parody of The Beatles “Obladi Oblada”)
Finally… the Inception of Parody Songs 😉
Parody_Song-Song-JoesDump
(lyrics below)
Copyright 2018 Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.
~~~ Lyrics ~~~
Parody Song! Song
by Joe J Thomas of Joe’s Dump
(parody of The Beatles “Obladi Oblada”)
Thought of something funny, gonna write a song
Ain’t got time for music done by hand
Grab some karaoke, you’ll be going strong
And there’s no need for you to go and find a band
[chorus] P. A. R. – O. D. Y. – S. O. N. G! – Gotta love a parody song! (X2)
Workin’ on the lyrics in my studio
Crumpled papers piled upon the floor
Just where all the time went, baby I don’t know
But when I wake up you’re there knockin’ on my door
[chorus] P. A. R. – O. D. Y. – S. O. N. G! – Gotta love a parody song! (X2)
In a couple of hours I will write another verse
Get on the mic and record it all
Like it for better or worse (ha ha ha ha)
Hope to make some money in the marketplace
Singing something funny for the fans
Famous on Demento and that FuMPy place
And then I’ll take it on a tour across the land
[chorus] P. A. R. – O. D. Y. – S. O. N. G! – Gotta love a parody song! (X2)
In a couple of days I will post it up online
On Twitter, Facebook and Instagram
Drop it on Funny or Die (ha ha ha ha)
Getting lots of clicks out on my YouTube site
Check it out the stats keep rolling in
Reading all the comments then it’s nighty-night
And in the morning I’ll just do it all again
[chorus] P. A. R. – O. D. Y. – S. O. N. G! – Gotta love a parody song! (X2)
And if you want some fun, just come and sing along!
All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com
“Dotard Featherhead!”
(a song about a somewhat fictional president)
Dotard:a weak-minded old person Featherhead:a foolish scatterbrain
(parody of John Denver’s “Grandma’s Feather Bed”)
by Joe J Thomas of Joe’s Dump
Copyright 2018, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump JoesDump.com
All rights reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin production.
~~~ Lyrics ~~~
When I was a tiny little lad my daddy said to me
Son you can set your mind to be anything you wanna be
A rodeo clown or a fireman
You could even be president
But the worst dang one in the U S of A
Was Dotard Featherhead!
He’s 6 feet high, 2 tons wide
Dim as a concrete brick
Married 3 times to mail-order brides
Got a tiny little thing for a dick
He lies and cheats and overeats
With a belly that’s way overfed
There’s Russians and hookers and family
He’s Dotard Featherhead
He only hires the bestest folks,
They spend ‘n waste ‘n collude
He talks about the nukes and the coal
Then he holds a rally or two
The White House has a revolving door,
When he tweets off comes your head
Pretty soon the only one left
Will be Dotard Featherhead
He’s 6 feet high, 2 tons wide
Dim as a concrete brick
Married 3 times to mail-order brides
Got a tiny little thing for a dick
He lies and cheats and overeats
With a belly that’s way overfed
There’s Russians and hookers and family
He’s Dotard Featherhead
(music)
Well he loves his base and he loves the Klan,
Putin and Kim Jong Un
He bankrupt casinos, steaks and schools
Got a golden toilet too, ew!
But if you ask the CIA, FBI or the feds
That noose is getting mighty tight
Around Dotard Featherhead
He’s 6 feet high, 2 tons wide
Dim as a concrete brick
Married 3 times to mail-order brides
Got a tiny little thing for a dick
He lies and cheats and overeats
With a belly that’s way overfed
There’s Russians and hookers and family
He’s Dotard Featherhead
There’s Russians and hookers and family
He’s Dotard Featherhead!
…
All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com
~~~ Lyrics ~~~
I joined a pay-to-play site
‘Cuz I got my voice to sell
They send me lots of auditions
And I’m doin’ really well
Then I reach the part where the paycheck comes
A dollar ninety three
Are you frickin’ kiddin’ me?!?!?
This headset mic is really boss
It’ll take me twenty bucks to pay it off
~~~
If I could read your copy
For a product you’d like to sell
Be on a national commercial
The kind that pays my bills
Maybe I could be on a cartoon show
And be famous on TV
Or a hero in a game
The Simpsons or an Anime
Can’t you see I only need a break
~~~
My fans would think I’m a movie star
With a mansion on the beach
Or maybe even two
With lots of green, I’m on the scene with paparazzi crowding all round me
But for now I should be real
I never learned how to act on stage
And I’ve got to say that they just don’t get it
I don’t know where I went wrong
But my money’s gone and I just can’t get it back
~~~ (end) ~~~
All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com
