Hookah Burger!!!

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Hookah Burger!!!

Ok, so where did this bit of madness come from?

There’s a tiny stand-alone restaurant in our neighborhood. It used to be some kind of “Wrap” place, then it was empty for years.

Finally, a minor burger chain bought it! Hurray! And with a college nearby, it should be a huge success, right?

Nope. New seats. Outdoor TVs. Cheap plastic barrier and fence with plastic plants. New heaters.

Nothing.

So… The owners set it up as a Hookah place instead!

Sure. That’s a natural transition.

… and … it’s dormant again.

But I can still wish for “Hookah Burger!!!”

BTW, there’s a real “Hookah Burger” restaurant in Russia.
You can visit them here (WARNING! Slightly NSFW!): Hookah Burger Russia

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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The Power of Voice Over

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The Power of Voice Over

As voice actors, we often get caught up in the process, and forget the impact that our voices can have on a production.

Recently, I saw a car commercial from Lincoln named “Olivia’s Wish List”. It was a very cute spot featuring a girl in a car who makes wishes on a snow globe. She wishes for snow, toys, dancing. The audio track is only music (The Philadelphia Orchestra “Suite for Variety Orchestra No. 1: VII. Waltz No. 2”).

I wondered how much the feel of the commercial could be changed by adding a voice over track. I chose a more sinister take than the original, but everything else (video, music) is the same.

Here’s my take on the commercial: “Olivia’s Evil Wish”

… and for your reference, the original is here:


(old youtube was watch?v=_0LseZ5BlnI)

What other ways could you interpret this spot? How can your voice breath life into the productions you’re involved in?

Stay creative, my friends!
Joe

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Doctor Who: Widen Your Gaze (part 2)

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Doctor Who: Widen Your Gaze (part 2)

Afternoon Tea Adventures presents a brand new Doctor Who audio drama in 3 parts.

Chapter Two: The White Light Divine
As the Doctor sets a very dangerous trap, Julia finds herself in a strange empty place where madmen tell their stories, and there’s a ghost in the machine.
Doctor Who - Widen Your Gaze - chapter 2

Listen to part two here:

Also available on iTunes (click here)

And on YouTube:

(did you miss part one? here’s a link to it 😉

Doctor Who: Widen Your Gaze (part 1)

Doctor Who: Widen Your Gaze – a science fiction ghost story.

“The mind is its own place, and in its self
Can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven.”
–John Milton, Paradise Lost.

Palestine 1975: The Doctor’s companion, under surveillance by CIA agents, writes a letter to her younger sister in New York City.

England, 1955: a grieving father obsessively searches for the ghost of his dead son.

Hyperspace, the 22nd Century: Something is threatening a community in thrall to an ancient alien technology, shrouded in myth and legend.

As all three events collide, the Doctor finds herself in a bloodied life-or-death race to piece together an inter-dimensional mystery that threatens to tear open the divide between sanity and madness and the living and the dead.

In a spectral, hostile darkness, sometimes the best thing you can do to survive is to widen your gaze.

Chapter Two: The White Light Divine
As the Doctor sets a very dangerous trap, Julia finds herself in a strange empty place where madmen tell their stories, and there’s a ghost in the machine.

CAST
The Doctor … K. Woo
Julia Shahid … Valina Cutler
Welcott … Joe J. Thomas
Fair Hair … Justin Fife
Cruz … Al Gordon
Lupez … Lisa Michaud
VTI Computer … Stan Endvico
Lawyer … Glen Bartram

Written by Vince Stadon
Doctor Who logo by John Callaghan
Art by Valina Cutler
Many thanks to freesound.org

Afternoon Tea Adventures‘ Doctor Who series is a free, not-for-profit fan production and is in no way associated with the British Broadcasting Corporation. It was created as a celebration of the series, without intent to supersede or infringe on existing copyrights or intellectual property. Doctor Who, the TARDIS, and other registered sounds and concepts remain property of the BBC.

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Doctor Who: Widen Your Gaze (part 1)

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Doctor Who: Widen Your Gaze (part 1)

Afternoon Tea Adventures presents a brand new Doctor Who audio drama in 3 parts.
Doctor Who - Widen Your Gaze - chapter 1

Listen to part one here:

Also available on iTunes (click here)

And on YouTube:

Doctor Who: Widen Your Gaze – a science fiction ghost story.

“The mind is its own place, and in its self
Can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven.”
–John Milton, Paradise Lost.

Palestine 1975: The Doctor’s companion, under surveillance by CIA agents, writes a letter to her younger sister in New York City.

England, 1955: a grieving father obsessively searches for the ghost of his dead son.

Hyperspace, the 22nd Century: Something is threatening a community in thrall to an ancient alien technology, shrouded in myth and legend.

As all three events collide, the Doctor finds herself in a bloodied life-or-death race to piece together an inter-dimensional mystery that threatens to tear open the divide between sanity and madness and the living and the dead.

In a spectral, hostile darkness, sometimes the best thing you can do to survive is to widen your gaze.

Chapter One: The Ghost Train
The Doctor and Julia are being followed by something inexplicable and inhuman, and in a deserted station along a lonely coastal railway line a ghost train is waiting for them.

CAST
The Doctor … K. Woo
Julia Shahid … Valina Cutler
Welcott … Joe J. Thomas
Fair Hair … Justin Fife

Written by Vince Stadon
Doctor Who logo by John Callaghan
Art by Valina Cutler
Many thanks to freesound.org

Afternoon Tea Adventures‘ Doctor Who series is a free, not-for-profit fan production and is in no way associated with the British Broadcasting Corporation. It was created as a celebration of the series, without intent to supersede or infringe on existing copyrights or intellectual property. Doctor Who, the TARDIS, and other registered sounds and concepts remain property of the BBC.

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Ode to Obi-Wan

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Ode to Obi-Wan

(from “Star Wars: A Forced Musical”)

aired on the Dr Demento Thanksgiving show Nov 18, 2017 (click for info)

Illustrations by K. Woo (On Instagram – click here!)
Lyrics and Voice by Joe J Thomas
Copyright 2017 Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump
www.JoesDump.com
Not a Quinn-Martin Production

~~~ Lyrics ~~~
Ode to Obi-Wan
(from “Star Wars: A Forced Musical”)
Written by: Joe J Thomas

Oh my father was full of midichlorians they say
That’s why the force in me is so hot
I’d go out in my speeder shootin’ womp rats all day
But now tell me what have I got?

If you’re gonna be a Jedi
You wanna have a dead eye
With a saber or blaster gun
But you gotta have a master
When you’re headed for disaster
Oh the man that you want’s Obi-Wan

He’s a guy who knew your father
But don’t you go and bother
Asking what dear ole’ dad become
Cuz you might be relater
To someone named Darth Vader
No you can’t trust that old Obi-Wan

Obi-Wan! Obi-Wan!
Did you know that he trained Anakin?

If you’re the type of mister
Who’d go and kiss his sister
And fly round with a guy named Han
Get your butt to Dagobah
You gotta train with Yoda
See the ghost of your friend, meet your paw in the end
But it all began with Obi-Wan

If you sneak into the Death Star
And your Jedi skills are sub-par
All your friends will be suffer-un
You could lose a hand to daddy
See a sarlaac eat a baddy
Have a trash bin squeezin’ your buns

You may meet in a cantina
With a ugly dude who’s meaner
Than a Wookie with fleas by gum
Or hear ghosts in your X-Wing
Say your nav comp is a bad thing
Never watch movies three, two, or one

Obi-Wan! Obi-Wan!
Get the heck out my head Obi-Wan!

If you’re knocked out by a Wampa
Or stuffed into a Ton-ton
Win a race on the Kessel run
Defeat an evil empire
Then dance around a campfire
Carbonite, Saber Fight, Ewoks might die of fright
Heck you might even see Obi-Wan

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

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Trump Feelings via Dr Otto

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My Feelings on Trump, as Expressed by Dr. Otto

Only the amazing Jim Varney as Dr. Otto can truly sum up my feelings about Donald Trump:

Treat yourself! Be sure to Buy or Rent “Dr. Otto and the Riddle of the Gloom Beam” on Amazon here!

Bonus!!! Watch my review of “Dr. Otto”, and “Captain Invincible” here:

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Political Opinions

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Political Opinions

In a recent Facebook post, people were debating the merits and issues with stating your political views on a public forum. The primary concern seemed to be how it might affect their business. Here is my posted reply:

Now is not the time to remain silent. No job, paycheck or client is worth giving up our freedoms. And that’s what’s at stake. Everyone must do what they’re comfortable with, but I will not stand idly by while the underpinnings of our nation are eroded. If anyone, including a client, doesn’t like my stance on issues of this importance then I wouldn’t want them anyway. So far, I’ve only lost one connection here, and he went way off the deep end. My two cents. Your mileage may vary.

After all, what good is having the right to freedom of speech if you never exercise it?

The Role of the Jester
Although I do speak my mind plainly at times, I also often use humor to convey messages. Like the King’s Jester, some truths are easier to deliver with a bit of comedy. The laughter (or lack thereof) can tell you a lot about the audience. And make no mistake – I’ve mocked both sides of the political aisle (but one side is usually a lot more of a comedy gold mine 😉 )

Here are my latest set of short historical propaganda films – Enjoy!

Join The Republican Party: The Party of THE FUTURE!

Dead Presidents on Trump (5 short videos)
What would dead presidents have to say about Donald J. Trump?
Wonder no more!
Here’s 10-15 seconds each of alternative history for you!




Copyright 2017 Joe’s Dump
www.JoesDump.com
Not a Quinn-Martin Production

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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Joe Lamé Fitness

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Joe Lamé Fitness

After decades of intensive research, Joe’s Dump is proud to announce it’s very own line of FITNESS PRODUCTS!

  • Fitness Tracker
  • Health Shakes
  • Protein Bars
  • … and MUCH MUCH MORE!!!

Get the full story on Joe Lamé Fitness below!!!

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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VHP: Virtual Henderson Project

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VHP: Virtual Henderson Project

Henderson is a cheesy beefcake of a man. If you haven’t met him yet, he’s a loose-cannon cop with the intelligence of a small soap dish. I’ve been providing his voice for Pendant Productions for a little over 3 years now, and since Season 3 is coming on March 22, I thought something special was in order.

I always wondered what Henderson would look like in real life, and recently, I purchased some new software called “Poser” that can create realistic 3-D human models. Time for a test run!

Virtual Henderson Project: The Process:
The modeling software does have a learning curve to it. This may be less if you’re actually a graphics person or an animator, but for me it was about medium level of difficulty.

After creating the model, the next step is rendering. For still images, it’s not too bad. A few minutes for each one. The animation, however, took a looooonnnnggg time on my computer. Since I wasn’t going to buy a new computer just for this project, I decided to limit the animated portion to 5 seconds. That’s 150 frames (at 30 fps), and each frame took about 4 minutes, so, yeah, long time.

The rest of the video is still shots that I pan up, down, or sideways in the video editing software (I use Sony Vegas).

For the whole project, I’d guess I spent about 30-40 hours.

Bonus! Here’s the blooper reel from Henderson and Havner Season 2:

      HandHbloopers2

…and Links to Everything Else Mentioned:

Enjoy!
Joe

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

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The Hell of Diets!

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The Hell of Diets!

“The Hell of Diets!”
by Joe J Thomas

(a parody of “The Sound of Silence” by Disturbed and Simon & Garfunkel)

Copyright 2016, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump
All Rights Reserved
Not a Quinn-Martin Production

The Hell of Diets! (title card)
~~~ Lyrics ~~~
“The Hell of Diets!”
by Joe J Thomas Continue reading

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