I am… Vendo Madera! (that’s “I Sell Wood” in Spanish)
While learning Spanish I discovered that many of the words sound like names from Star Wars. Use the below to find your “Spanish Star Wars Name!”
… and don’t forget to translate it 😉
Enjoy,
Vendo Madera
What’s Your Spanish Star Wars Name? (Joe’s Dump)
How low can Joe go?
Cover Versions of Popular Songs in the Key of Bass
Welcome back to Joe’s Bassment, Where I sing a popular song in a lower key…
This week, I’m covering “Imagine” by John Lennon
At first, I tried it a full octave lower, but that sounded a *tad* too low.
So the final version is 4 half steps lower instead. Enjoy!
Music Backing Soundtrack: Ryohei Kanayama (http://www.goldmine1969.com)
~~~ Lyrics: ~~~
Imagine by John Lennon
– – – – – –
Imagine there’s no heaven
It’s easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people living for today
Imagine there’s no countries
It isn’t hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people living life in peace, you
You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope some day you’ll join us
And the world will be as one
Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people sharing all the world, you
You may say I’m a dreamer
But I’m not the only one
I hope some day you’ll join us
And the world will be as one
For several years, I’ve been wishing all my friends on Facebook “Happy Birthday!”
It’s time for a change.
From now on, I’m going to just enjoy my friends, their stories, triumphs and troubles as they happen. And be there for them. Or just be more “present” every day.
I hope that’s a better gift than just a once-a-year wish.
So, “Happy Day”, my friends.
It sure is great to have you all in my life.
See you around…
🎂🎈🎁
A long time ago, on a blog of random stuff…
Joe’s Dump!
Episode #!%&@
THE RISE OF A NEW REBOOTENING
It was the dawn of time, or at least 2012.
The Mayan Apocalypse had passed.
But a new blog of random posts
threatened to destroy the sanity
of those that read it.
Now, eight confusing years later,
That blog has faltered.
It has stumbled.
The keys to the car are missing.
And there’s something strange
in the road ahead…
Joe’s Dump!
The Rebootening!!!
(coming to an internet near you)
Joe’s Dump: The Rebootening!
Weekly Nonsense (almost) Guaranteed!
Songs, Poetry, Art, Comedy, Animation, Audio Drama, Business, Opinion, Religion, Politics…
AND LOTS MORE WORDS!!!
(almost) Guaranteed!
www.JoesDump.com
How low can Joe go?
Cover Versions of Popular Songs in the Key of Bass
Normally on Joe’s Bassment, I sing a popular song in a lower key… But not this week!
I’ve got 3 Elvis ballads, including one for Christmas!
When the fast food industry can’t sell you food fast enough, they come up with a new and dastardly plan…
Parody of The Beatles “Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band / With A Little Help From My Friends”
Video:
Audio
Written and Sung by Joe J Thomas
Music Backing Soundtrack: Ryohei Kanayama (http://www.goldmine1969.com)
Copyright 2020 Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production
Runtime: 5:15
~~~ Lyrics ~~~
Colonel Sanders Gastric Bypass Band! (eat all the chickens and hens)
— Extra Crispy Lyrics: —
+++ opening boardroom scene with Col Sanders:
(general boardroom chatter)
(door open/close)
(murmurs of “Col Sanders!”)
Col: Gentlemen! Our secret herbs and spices have done really well over the years, but I fear that we have run into a limiting factor. Seems we can only feed people so much before they are full. We need something new!
(harumph, harumph, harumph)
Col: I did not hear a harumph out of you!
(harumph?)
Col: That’s better! So I have come up with a brand new product, and a new campaign to sell it to our hungry consumers… You! Minimum wage musicians! Play me in!
(musician: Yes sir!)
— the song! —
We got something new for you today
Just come in to Colonel Sanders’ place
You been eatin’ chicken wings and thighs
We can help you fit more inside
It’s gonna be a brand new you
That weight will all disappear
Colonel Sanders’ Gastric Bypass Band!
{music interlude}
Colonel Sanders’ Gastric Bypass Band!
We hope that you got lots of dough
Colonel Sanders’ Gastric Bypass Band!
You’ll wonder where your fat will go
Colonel Sanders’ Gastric
Colonel Sanders’ Gastric
Colonel Sanders’ Gastric Bypass Band!
Our food will always be here
For you to get your fill
The operation’s starting now
Just breathe in deep and count to ten, you’ll sleep just like a stone
Junk we sell you will make you grow
No nutrition inside you know
Selling sugar and fat’s our thing
The Colonel, Clown and the King
But now that we’re almost through
It’s all gonna disappear
With Colonel Sanders’ Gastric Bypass Band!
…!!!
Sanders Here!
…!!!
What would you think if we ran out of food
Would you get up and walk out the door
How ‘bout a breast or a thigh or a wing
We’ve got stuffing and gravy to pour
…
Oh, when you’re through you can go on a cleanse
Mm, see your doctor and make some amends
Mm, make believe as your waistline extends
…
You can buy buckets of our takeaway.
Then eat it all down to the bone.
Getting more biscuits and cornbread’s okay.
If it costs more we’ll give you a loan
…
Oh, all those chickens are raised up in pens
Mm, but it’s always the same in the ends
Mm, we just fry them by fives and by tens
…
Will we feed anybody?
You just need money for grub
Should this go in your body?
We sell food packed into tubs
…
You won’t believe that you ate every bite
The Extra Crispy really tastes so fine
We’re here to make sure that you’re comfy tonight
So all of our new chairs recline
Oh, gonna sell you whatever we can
Mm, gotta get you to buy and to spend
Oh, gonna fry up some odds and some ends
…
Will we feed anybody?
You just need money for grub
Should this go in your body?
We sell food packed into tubs
…
Oh, in the end it’s all chickens and hens
Mm, gonna fry up some chickens and hens
Oh, gotta sell you some chickens and hens
Yea, gonna eat all the chickens and hens
All the chickens and hens!
Parody of “Have A Holly Jolly Xmas” by Burl Ives
It’s Burl Ives as you’ve never heard him!
(because it’s not him…)
—>>> Click HERE To Purchase On The FuMP!<<<---
Audio Only:
Video at:
Written and sung by Joe J Thomas
Copyright 2020, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.
One month ago, my wife and I moved from Los Angeles to Barcelona. I’ve noticed advantages and disadvantages due to the time difference.
The following is my general weekday schedule, and below that, my thoughts on how the move has affected me… Forward! 9 Hours Into THE FUTURE!!!
| Los Angeles | Barcelona | Activity |
|---|---|---|
| 10:00 PM | 7:00 AM | Rise and shine! |
| 10:30 PM | 7:30 AM | Morning stretches and hygiene |
| 11:30 PM | 8:30 AM | Light breakfast; Check emails for auditions |
| 12:00 AM | 9:00 AM | Walk; Buy daily groceries, bread, snack |
| 1:00 AM | 10:00 AM | Auditions; Work |
| 2:00 AM | 11:00 AM | Mid-day snack; Pre-lunch walk |
| 3:00 AM | 12:00 AM | Other Work Stuff; Creative Time |
| 5:00 AM | 2:00 PM | Lunch |
| 6:00 AM | 3:00 PM | More Creative / Work time |
| 9:00 AM | 6:00 PM | Exercise; Shower + Shave |
| 10:00 AM | 7:00 PM | Sessions; Auditions; Make it Rain! |
| 12:00 PM | 9:00 PM | Dinner |
| 1:00 PM | 10:00 PM | More work (if needed); TV Time |
| 3:00 PM | 12:00 AM | Bedtime! |
This schedule allows me to be available until 3 PM in Los Angeles and 6 PM in New York. For the majority of jobs, that works very well. There are exceptions, of course. I’ve already had one session with LA/Tokyo/Barcelona that presented some timing issues. But I can stand the occasional Midnight-2 AM gig 😉
Positives: Able to handle most jobs and auditions. More relaxed schedule. Greater Work/Life balance. More available for clients in Europe.
Negatives: May miss out on some RUSH!!! auditions. Not available for late day sessions, classes, or meetups.
Other thoughts: With the political climate in the US of A, I found my time being consumed with negative emotions, both my own and others, while living in LA. Since moving, the distance has allowed a greater sense of calm, and a broader perspective. Perhaps it’s because the consequences seem less. Or maybe it’s just not being under a constant barrage of news, posts, and tweets. Either way, I feel it’s better for my mental and physical health. It’s possible the same thing can be achieved without moving. Turn off the TV, social media, etc. But if that were the case, I wasn’t able to find a way to make it work while there.
Next stop… VOTING!
Last week, my wife and I relocated to Barcelona.
(how we did it is at the bottom of this post 😉 )
Since we may be here for a while, I needed a new studio setup.
Here’s some photos (click for full size), and the details on the equipment:
The Booth: StudioBricks One Plus (VO Edition)
Comes with lighting, ventilation unit, extra sound dampening, bass trap, table, mic arm, and copy arm.
Overall… Stellar! Super quiet inside. Door handle turns up to seal the booth, down to open. Ventilation has several modes, the lowest of which is inaudible. Lighting and copy arm fit the bill nicely. Can always add more lighting easily.
One added perk: Since they’re made in Barcelona, the manufacturer came out and assembled it (for a very low fee)!
Another added perk: the acoustic foam on the walls has built-in channels for cable runs. So. Damn. Cool.
The only thing I’m not sold on is the Yellowtec mic arm. I’ve adjusted the spring, but it’s a bit hard to get it to stay where I want it to. I’d also prefer something a bit smaller. Might replace it in time…
The Mic: AKG C214
Excellent microphone. Very low self-noise. Picks up every nuance of my voice. Some reviews peg this as being “too bright”, but in my opinion it captures a true representation of my voice. Of course every voice is different, and you may not get the same feel from this mic. But for me, it’s a step up.
The Interface: Motu M2
Beautifully designed. Very low self-noise. Works like a dream. Really like the built-in meters. Also has an on/off switch on the back, and a monitor switch on each mic input for direct monitoring. Recommended!
The Headphones: Beyerdynamic DT 770 Pro 80 Ohm
What everyone says about these… yeah, they’re right. Solid choice.
The Cloud: Google Drive (Google One)
A final piece of the puzzle: Inside the Booth vs. Outside.
Google One gives you 2Tb storage for $99/yr.
My fanless laptop inside the booth shares files with my computer at my desk. Everything is backed up in the cloud and available everywhere I need it. Easy.
… And How We Got Into Spain During A Pandemic Lockdown!
At the time of this post (for those in the future), the Covid-19 pandemic is raging. Due to the horrible handling of… well… everything in the US-of-A, most of the world doesn’t want US citizens traveling to their countries. The exception is if you are a national of that country, or happen to have a visa.
My wife and I have what is known as a “Golden Visa” for Spain (mostly thanks to her). It allows us to live and work in Spain and the EU. Getting one is no easy feat, however.
So…
Step 1) Build a time machine.
Step 2) Go back to 2016. Be horrified by the results of the election.
Step 3) Jump through all the hoops needed for a “Golden Visa” (buy property, get health insurance, background checks, bank account, paperwork, visa, residence card, travel to Spain every time something is needed)
Step 4) It’s now 2-3 years later (yeah, lots of hoops)
Step 5) Due to the pandemic, jump through lots more hoops (call the embassy, consulate, lawyers, travel agents, airlines, etc.)
Step 6) Get an impossible Covid-19 test (nasal swab, must have results within 72 hours before flight)
Step 7) Discover Step 6 wasn’t needed (what?!?!?!?)
Step 8) Get baggage opened and everything touched by security to make you feel insecure.
Step 9) Congratulations! You’ve arrived in Spain!
Easy, right?
The take-away: It’s better here. I’m glad I followed my wife’s instincts.
See you in the (remote-er) booth!
Joe J Thomas
www.JoeActor.com
Parody of “I’m On Fire” by Bruce Springsteen
What can I do with the creepiest song by Springsteen? Make it creepier, of course!
As heard on Dr. Demento!
—>>> Click HERE To Purchase On The FuMP!<<<---
Audio Only:
Video at:
Written and sung by Joe J Thomas
Copyright 2020, Joe J Thomas, Joe’s Dump, JoesDump.com
All Rights Reserved.
Not a Quinn-Martin Production.