Yearly Archives: 2017

Time Travel Poem

Posted on by
Reply
Share

Time Travel Poem

by Joe J Thomas, age 54 (currently)

I had just come back from the past
When a guy showed up and asked
“What the hell is it you think that you’re doing?”
He was all covered in dust
So I told him I was just
Checking what my ancestors were brewing.

“That’s dangerous!”, he said
“You might kill your grandpa dead!”
“Or change the way the future will unfold!”
I said “Who are you to say”
“How I do things yesterday”
“Or where or when that I should come and go!”

“I’m your grandson”, he said to me
“And I’m here to set you free”
“From a life that’s bound by time and space and crap!”
“If you’ll only listen now”
“Of the where and why and how”
“We can exit from this time travel trap!”

“You’re crazy!”, I began
And with that I turned and ran
There was a gun in my desk across the room
“Don’t do it!”, he was pleading
But my shot had left him bleeding
He collapsed and warned about impending doom

“I’m not only your grandson”
“But your grandpa too, my son”
“This time travel has gotten out of hand”
He came back to stop my error
From this loopy, timey, terror
Things just didn’t work out how he’d planned

As he slowly slipped away
My hands began to fade
I’d cursed us both forever to repeat
The time and space went back
As it all faded to black
I returned to wh…

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

Share

Henderson and Havner: episode 21!

Posted on by
Reply
Share

Henderson and Havner, episode 21 – “Left in Limbo”

Henderson and Havner


In today’s episode:

H and H present their evidence, but the Interims’ response isn’t what they expected!

Listen to episode 21 of this exclusive series from Pendant Productions:

      HandH21master

Continue reading →

Share

Things I’ve Never Seen

Posted on by
Reply
Share

Things I’ve Never Seen

With all the hubbub about Game of Thrones, I thought I’d come clean: There’s a lot of things I’ve never seen.

Sure, I meant to see a lot of them, just never got around to it.

Here’s my list:

  • Game of Thrones
  • Any full episode of Seinfeld
  • The last episode of Mash
  • Any full movie from The Godfather series
  • Breaking Bad
  • The last season of True Blood
  • All of Doctor Zhivago
  • Most of the Harry Potter movies
  • The Hobbit movies (except for the bad animation one)
  • Raging Bull
  • Fight Club
  • All of Metropolis

Now it’s your turn! What haven’t you seen?

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

Share

Do Your F-ing Job!

Posted on by
Reply
Share

Do Your F-ing Job!

*** Warning: This is an official rant. If you were looking for something non-ranty, please click elsewhere… You have been warned! ***

Maybe it’s too much time on hold with customer service.

Maybe it’s too much time in traffic with incompetent drivers.

Maybe it’s unqualified people in public office.

Whatever it is, I really just want people to Do Your F-ing Job!

Seriously, how hard is it?

If you’re sitting in the front of a line of cars at a red light, your job is to go when the light turns green. If you’re anywhere else in the line, your job is to go when the car in front of you moves. Do Your F-ing Job!

If you’re working in government, your job is to represent the needs and wants of your constituents, and to keep the country as your top priority. Do Your F-ing Job!

If you’re a customer service person, your job is have a deep understanding of the subject your’re supposed to be helping with, and to answer promptly and courteously. Do Your F-ing Job!

If you’re an actor, your job is to know your character, script and to show up on time and be professional. Do Your F-ing Job!

Writers… Write! Plumbers… Plumb! Painters… Paint! Creatives… Create!

I’m convinced the world would be a much better place and we’d all be happier if only You and I would…

Do Your F-ing Job!

(steps off soapbox. decompresses from rant.)

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

Share

Henderson and Havner: episode 20!

Posted on by
Reply
Share

Henderson and Havner, episode 20 – “Bots and Boots”

Henderson and Havner


In today’s episode:

A field trip to a nearby factory gives H and H all the clues they need… or does it?

Listen to episode 20 of this exclusive series from Pendant Productions:

      HandH20master

Continue reading →

Share

Sillyam Fakespeare

Gallery

Posted on by
Sillyam Fakespeare quote

This gallery contains 12 photos.

Share

Sillyam Fakespeare Yea, verily! Tis time for some newly minted sayings by the immortal bard’s third cousin, thrice removed… Odds bodkins! Milady most assuredly has a plethora of junk in thine trunk! Seldom is a man so forlorn than when … Continue reading →

Share

Talent and Training vs Tools

Posted on by
2
Share

Talent and Training vs Tools

I’ve seen way too many newbies to the world of Voice Acting ask the following questions:

  • “Which microphone should I buy?”
  • “Do I need ISDN?”
  • “What’s the best porta-booth?”
  • “How can I make my first VO demo?”
  • “Who knows a good agency looking for new talent?”

Arrrrggghhh!!!

First things first: Know the capabilities and limits of your own talents.

Second things second: Get the training need to fully utilize all your skills.

Before you spend a dime on tools, booths, mics, mixers, demos, etc… Put in the work needed to be an excellent Voice Actor. Theatre. Improv. Singing. Coaches, classes and even conferences.

Many people find that the answers to many questions will reveal themselves if you’re​ on the right path.

Shortcuts are extremely rare. Take the time to build a solid foundation and you’ll greatly increase your odds of success.

Measure Twice, Cut Once.

Joe

PS: here are all the answers…

  • The one that works best for your voice and space.
  • No.
  • Pillow fort, or rental car.
  • Hire a pro… Only when you’re ready.
  • All agencies want new talent, if you have something they need.

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

Share

Henderson and Havner: episode 19!

Posted on by
Reply
Share

Henderson and Havner, episode 19 – “Reductive Reasoning”

Henderson and Havner


In today’s episode:

H and H get a taste of their own medicine as the Interims up the pressure!

Listen to episode 19 of this exclusive series from Pendant Productions:

      HandH19master

Continue reading →

Share

Memorial for Decency

Posted on by
Reply
Share

Memorial for Decency

Make America Great … Again?

It can be… But it will take all of us, and involve some serious changes.

I’m not taking about government, parties, economy, jobs or health care.

I’m taking about us. Changing.

With the rise of insults, violence, anger, finger pointing, praise of bullies, fakes and con-men, we’ve all gone down the wrong path. A dangerous path.

According to Wikipedia:

Memorial Day is a federal holiday in the United States for remembering the people who died while serving in the country’s armed forces.

This Memorial Day, I’m remembering what America had, and can have again…
Memorial for Decency
(here’s the list, in alphabetic order: Beauty of Spirit, Caring, Civic Pride, Civility, Class, Common Sense, Community, Courtesy, Curiosity, Decency, Dignity, Honor, Humility, Innovation, Kindness, Knowledge, Love, Loyalty, Morals, Personal Responsibility, Pride in one’s work, Respect, Sense of Duty, Thriftiness, Truth)

Perhaps we all just need to follow the example of the Boy Scout Law: A Scout is Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave, Clean, and Reverent.

… And if you find yourself blaming others, try reaching out to them instead.

Together, regardless of who’s in power, We The People are the only ones who can Make America Great.

E Plebnista.

 

All content written and voiced by Joe J Thomas online at: JoeActor.com

 

Share