Outstanding In My Field
by Aruba Borealis
Hola, and welcome to “It Arts So Good”.
I am your gracious host, Aruba Borealis, your guide into the fascinating world of the art.
Come with me as we explore what is, and what is not, the art.
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presents:
Bill Parker: Adopted Eskimo
He has a check made out to himself for a million dollars, since that’s how Jim Carrey did it.
Disney is on his resume… because he once visited the theme park.
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Why is the kitty being so jingly?
Is that why my nerves are ever so tingly?
Amplified noise assaulting my head
Prevents me from sleeping all snug in my bed
I snap. I growl. I grumble and snipe.
I rage. I cuss. I howl and I gripe.
The pressure is mounting – it’s all in my noggin
I need to say “Sorry!”, which is why I am bloggin
Oh, Wifey! You know, it is not your fault.
You try to be kind, and not to assault.
Tempermental I am when a new show is a brewing
But Crabby McCrankyPants – him I should be eschewing
Accept my apology, and I promise to you
It won’t happen again… until the next show is due!
My name’s Big Jim McBob. Seems like folks are always asking me to speechify on things, so to help ‘em out, this here’s Big Jim McBob’s “Cowboy Musings“.
q) what do you call a man who has inherited his father’s world-wide chicken broth empire?
a) a bouillon-aire
q) did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side amputated?
a) he’s all right now
q) you know what happened when I ate at a Chinese German fusion restaurant?
a) an hour later I was hungry for power
q) how many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
a) two… but don’t ask me how they got in there
q) why was six afraid of seven?
a) because seven ate nine
q) what did the news report when a dwarf psychic escaped from jail?
a) small medium at large
q) what did the bartender say when a horse walked in?
a) hey buddy, why the long face?
q) how do you get down from an elephant?
a) you don’t – you get down from a goose
q) why did the bike fall over?
a) it was two tired
Broses! Flowers for MEN!
Hello folks. My name’s Henderson, and this is my Moment.
Henderson International Products (aka “HIP”) now brings you guys a brand new thing you can buy for other guys. But in a totally manly way!
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(enjoy!)
The Super Foods!
April 10th, 2013.
My Page-A-Day calendar informs me of the following bit of trivia:
“Survey Says: 95% Of Us Put On Our Left Sock First.”
“Hmmmm…”, I thought, “I put on my left sock first.”
“And my left pant-leg!”, I continued.
“And my left shoe!”, I stammered.
Ok, so what’s all that mean? Well, obviously I’m with 95% of the rest of “Us” (whoever we are). But it also means that somehow my Right-Brain is taking precedence on all maneuvers involving socks, pants and shoes. And who knows what else!