He has a check made out to himself for a million dollars, since that’s how Jim Carrey did it.
Disney is on his resume… because he once visited the theme park.
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Video Games Live (www.videogameslive.com) is a multi-media show featuring video game music sung live by a choir with music performed by a symphony orchestra. There are interactive segments with the audience, guest directors from the game companies, synchronized videos, trivia, prizes, and much more. Truly an exciting concert!
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Why is the kitty being so jingly?
Is that why my nerves are ever so tingly?
Amplified noise assaulting my head
Prevents me from sleeping all snug in my bed
I snap. I growl. I grumble and snipe.
I rage. I cuss. I howl and I gripe.
The pressure is mounting – it’s all in my noggin
I need to say “Sorry!”, which is why I am bloggin
Oh, Wifey! You know, it is not your fault.
You try to be kind, and not to assault.
Tempermental I am when a new show is a brewing
But Crabby McCrankyPants – him I should be eschewing
Accept my apology, and I promise to you
It won’t happen again… until the next show is due!
My name’s Big Jim McBob. Seems like folks are always asking me to speechify on things, so to help ‘em out, this here’s Big Jim McBob’s “Cowboy Musings“.
q) what do you call a man who has inherited his father’s world-wide chicken broth empire?
a) a bouillon-aire
q) did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side amputated?
a) he’s all right now
q) you know what happened when I ate at a Chinese German fusion restaurant?
a) an hour later I was hungry for power
q) how many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?
a) two… but don’t ask me how they got in there
q) why was six afraid of seven?
a) because seven ate nine
q) what did the news report when a dwarf psychic escaped from jail?
a) small medium at large
q) what did the bartender say when a horse walked in?
a) hey buddy, why the long face?
q) how do you get down from an elephant?
a) you don’t – you get down from a goose
q) why did the bike fall over?
a) it was two tired
Broses! Flowers for MEN!
Hello folks. My name’s Henderson, and this is my Moment.
Henderson International Products (aka “HIP”) now brings you guys a brand new thing you can buy for other guys. But in a totally manly way!
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(enjoy!)
The Super Foods!
It’s on my arm here while I write
It’s on the cat who’s curled up tight
In a brush and on the floor
Swept away beneath the door
A balding patch or flowing locks
I think I found some in my socks
It covers squirrels, dogs and voles
There’s just a bit here on my mole
Growing forth from follicles
A lack can bring much ridicule
Wet, dry, dirty, clean
You all know just what I mean
Splitting hairs, the hairy eye
Hairy palms on werewolf guy
Dye, perm, trim, and curl
Piled high on a pretty girl
Styles come and styles go
And so does hair – that’s all I know